How do you handle your anger when it comes to your mother?
Anger towards one or both parents is not uncommon at all in children. It is present in all children at every stage of development. A parents job is to help their child feel and resolve their anger in a mild, healthy way. I don't know how old you are, or if your mother is still alive, or what your gender is in relation her. Every interpersonal relationship has its own dynamic and deserves to be fully explored—-especially parent-child relationships.Your anger towards your mother possibly stems back to very early childhood, and you were unable to articulate or express your anger towards her. Perhaps you have been repressing/suppressing anger towards her for so long that your current anger doesn't seem to have an appropriate context. Taking time to figure out the dynamics of your relationship with her over the years will help a great deal in understating the source of your current feelings towards her. Do not be afraid to seek the help of a therapist to help get you started, as it can be a very complex entanglement of emotions.
My mom married my dads close friend?
My dad had a good friend/ co-worker who was married and had a daughter, we all would go boating, and camping together all the time, my parents got a divorce when I was 8, he got a divorce around the same time they did. My mom started dating him and they eventually got married, my dad killed himself 6 months after they got married, I was 10 years old. Should I be mad at my mom?
Am I right to harbor resentment towards my mother?
I tend to find ‘right’ and ‘wrong’ to be pretty useless labels in judging human behaviour, at least when you stop short of doing deliberate harm to another person.It seems to have overtones of a moral issue, and unless someone understands your moral compass, all you are going to get from asking Quora is what strangers think is right or wrong.It’s more useful to ask something like: ‘What do I achieve by harbouring resentment against my mother?’Again, only you can answer that question. However, if I may venture some guesses, you will spend a great deal of your time seething with anger and thinking about the wrongs you think your mother did you; you may do things that will cause you not to think better of yourself; you will probably not affect your mother at all, or if you do, you may feel guilty about it and so on. It is fairly likely that nothing positive will come of you harbouring resentment towards your mother.Many of us find that life is too short and fragile to waste it doing the things I have suggested that come from harbouring resentment.So what can you do instead?You could find a counsellor who can support you while directing your thoughts in more positive directions. You could practice blocking thoughts related to what you resent about your mother. When your find yourself thinking resentful thoughts, you could try to deliberately turn your thinking towards something you find positive. You could jog or do exercise when thoughts of your mother intrude. You could mentally try to walk a mile in your mother’s shoes at the time she did the things you resent.If mother is really toxic, then cutting her out of your life entirely is not out of the question. The main thing is not to have her rule and ruin your life by you wasting it on resenting her.
Why do adopted children sometimes feel anger rather than gratitude towards their adoptive parents when they find out they were adopted?
I am the mother of an adopted child - she is my niece. She came to live with me when she was 4 years old. Why? Because her mother suffered from a raging drug addiction and regularly put my niece and her little sister in danger. Yes, it was a good thing she came to live with me and could be in a safer, more loving environment.Thing is, she was 4. All she knew was that she was suddenly living with me and not her mother. She had never met me prior to moving in with me, so I was a stranger. My sister had long periods of no contact with me so I did not know her children. Why? Because I called social services every time I knew where she was. When she had a momentary bit of sanity she asked me to care for her two girls. I agreed and immediately sued for custody (as I was advised to by social services).Thing is EVERYONE told my niece how lucky she was to come live with me and isn’t she GRATEFUL that she’s not with her mother. But of course she wasn’t - she was scared and confused and missed her mom and was living with strangers. Why on earth would she be grateful? Her life had been hell before she came to live with me - should she be grateful that her life sucked enough to be taken away from her mother? My sister refused to follow the court ordered drug testing and counseling. Should my niece be grateful that her mother choose her drug addiction over regaining custody?I’ve never understood what these children are supposed to be grateful for - they’ve been adopted because someone - 1. died 2. lost custody or 3. gave them up. Would you be grateful for those things happening in your life?The person who should be grateful is the adoptive parents who have been blessed with their children! They get a chance to share their love with a child who desperately needs it. They get a chance to watch their chosen child grow up and they get to have fun and adventures and offer their wisdom to this child who so needed it.Please think about the circumstances that often lead to adoption and please, please realize that it is the adopting parents who are the ones who should be grateful that they have a chance to share their love!
Help letting go of resentment/anger?
Hi, I'm 14 years old. Don't judge me based on that, please, but I feel it is necessary to tell you that. As a 14 year old boy, I harbor a deep-rooted resentment/hatred of my father. I would really rather not go into why, but it is a very good reason. I have recently spoken to him, and told him what I feel about him, what I think he is, what he's done to my brothers and I, and that I may never stop hating him. I then spoke to my older brother, who's 21, and he said that now that I've said my bit and I've gotten it off my chest, I just need to let go. Being bitter and angry like I am isn't healthy, and I should just let go. But I'm finding it difficult, and I don't really think I know HOW to release this anger I have. Don't tell me to forgive him because he's my father, I would hardly consider him a father. Don't just tell me that I'll regret hating him when I grow up, I've heard it before, I just need help on letting go. I know I'm young, and I know it's unhealthy to harbor such bitter feelings, but I don't think I can ever forgive him. Is there any other way that I can release this anger?
Why should I accept my boyfriend being friends with his Baby Mama? and/or Why should I be her friend?
I am with a man with 2 "baby mamas" You need to get over the jealousy, or your relationship will be miserable, she is GOING to be in his life until the kids are 18, if not longer, and the best way for this to all go down, is friendship His first is nice, and I have actually sat down and had conversations with her, we all agree on punishments and limits and that helps the daughter, bc she knows we will talk and she cant get away with CRAP, its actually made her mom a better mom The second, I didnt like bc of their history and her anger, but they have worked it out, and they are getting along for the kid You gotta realize, you are one of the adults, one of the "parents" you want to be with him, you are going to be in that role, and the best thing for the kids is a unified front, you cant harbor the anger, or jealousy, he has been able to let it go for his kids, if you love him, do the same
Do you swear only when you're angry or is just part of your everyday conversation?
It depends on who I'm with. If it is an environment where cussing is not appropriate, I don't for any reason. However, if I can, a cuss a bit in regular conversation. When I'm angry or agitated, I say things that would make a drunk sailor with tourettes blush. I would make Samuel L Jackson look like Jimmy Carter. But one thing I never do if I can help it is take the Lord's name in vain.
Why do ex wives want to make their ex husbands life miserable?
When do the petty games end? The ex wife has everything she wants out of the divorce but still feels the need to play childish games. When its time to pick up our daughter she never has her hair done, she packs clothes for her that look like nonsense? What should I do?
How do I deal with my stepmother who ignores me?
I know this isn't what you want to hear, but try looking at it from her point of view. If you were in a house with a sullen person who didn't seem to like you, who made no attempt at a relationship with you, and who had an overall sense of not liking you....would you bend over backwards and break your neck trying to force a relationship? Or would you go about your business and do what you were comfortable with instead? I'm guessing you'd just do what you were comfortable with, because that sounds like exactly what you've been doing. My advice is DON'T be the sullen teenager who expects everyone else to make the first move. Relationships aren't all about you. Swallow your pride and go talk to her sometime. Keep trying if it doesn't seem to do much good. Offer to help with the kid even if you don't like him. Or better yet, actually acknowledge the child as your brother/sister. It sounds like you have a lot of anger and resentment of the situation, and that's understandable. But this isn't solely up to her. You have to make the effort to, an honest one that she will believe in.