What to do if my Mom makes me choose between her and my girlfriend?
I'm 22 and my girlfriend is 21. Im in college and still stay at home with my mother. Ive been dating a friend of mine for about a year now. We didnt become official until about four months ago. While we were dating my Mom was constanly on my case about making her my girlfriend and really pushing us together. Already telling everyone that we were getting married etc. I didnt want to jump into it to quickly because I wanted to know what i was getting myself into and I know how hard I fall when I become serious with someone. All this time we went to school, church and spent about everyday imaginable together. Then my Mom started telling me that she thinks she is cheating on me and that I should be careful. We werent together so, she wasnt cheating on me. I assured her she wasnt. She left it alone then started again. She told me she doesnt want her at the house or want me hanging with her. I still see her and dont plan on stopping. Im not trying to be stubborn but, I dont want to regret this decesion later on in life. I truly love my girlfriend she has been here for me through the ups and downs that comes with life and my mother. I've never met anyone who actually cares and isnt it for themselves. This leaves me only being able to see her on Sundays when im not working. This was hard in the beginning but we're doing alot better now. My mother is constantly telling me that she will kick me out becuase she doenst know why Im not listening to her. She will never accept her. She says, Im just wasting my time because Im not gonna marry her. If I marry her that all im goin to do is be raising bastards. It seems like there is no talking to her because her MIND is just made up. I just dont know what to do its stressing me out. It doesnt seems to be getting any better and its going on 5 months. She tells me I'm wasting my time because Im not going to marry her. I want to be able to date my girlfriend in peace without my Mom bad mouthing her. Talking to her doesn't get me anywhere? She tells me eventually she will make me choose. What to do folks?
My mom always finds reasons to pick on me.?
I have a twin brother who apparently I can never live up to. We share a room, and she always yells at me for it being messy, even though all of my brother's school work is all over his side of the room, and I just have a few sweaters on a chair and my shoes are sometimes under my desk. Apparently, my brother's mess is productive since it's school stuff. And then, she yells at me about my grades. I get mostly B's, the occasional C, but of course she compares me to my brother who gets straight A's. Then, my dad came to visit one time, and he was making fun of me for nagging him and my brother about cleaning up their mess, so I stopped, and when my mom came home, she got mad at me for the mess we all made, saying I should have been the responsible one. And one time, my friends and I were going to see a movie after school. I didn't specifically tell my mom we were going to see a movie, I just said we were going downtown, because the movie wasn't the most appropriate thing in the world--it wasn't rated R, but I just knew my mom would have way too many questions if I told her what it was. And then my brother ratted me out and my mom grounded me! And she always picks on my about my clothes, too. She thinks that all of my skirts and shorts are too short, and all my shirts that aren't high necked t-shirts are too low. She definitely loves my brother more, and she gives him way more freedom. How do I let her know that she is not being fair?
Choosing sides in a family fight. what to I need to do?
My little nieces birthday is coming up(she becomes 7) and my aunt invited my entire family(including me) to a big party. The problem is that she is in a fight with my mom(he sister) because of a big issue that cannot be solved on the bet so she didn't invite her. She has a fight with other members of my family with the same issue but it isn't as much big of a deal then with my mom. She called my cellphone number instead to invite only me. I know she did this on purpose because she didn't have my phone number and must have asked someone to not call my mom or our house number(she has both) to avoid speaking to my mom and invite her. I have a big issue now. I want to go to my nieces birthday because I do love her and want to see my family but my mom doesn't want to go because she knows she was purposely not invited and won't go. I don't want to go over there for the weekend and go a a family party and leave my mom here alone. She is really mad now and won't go. I also don't want to get in between and just ask my aunt why she didn't call my mom or our house number. I don't know what to do. Help?
As a man, when it comes to the dilemma of choosing between your mother and wife, do you take sides or keep yourself distant from these issues?
Initially after marriage, I used to choose my wife and be on her side because she was new in our family, needed our support, appreciation, guidance, care and love. I was sure my mother will not find fault with me because I am a product of her grooming. I used to tell my mother you nurtured me like that and you shared your life experiences when you married. So, what I am doing now is exactly what happened to you.Over a period, my wife and mother developed good rapport and there was no need for me to take sides. With the arrival of my son, my mother got engrossed in his care.We completed 40+ years of marital life and my wife spent 38 years with her MIL. My son also applied the same technique and has completed 11+ years of marital life. Family means everyone and it is happy only when the lady of the house is respected and loved unconditionally. This is my belief.
What to do when a mother chooses a man over her kids?
and he is abusive. when my 13 year old brother was a new born i watched him throw a wallet at him in the face and other things, i protected him then when i was about 7, then i lived with my stepfather-who is more like a father to me than anyone...he is my father!!! i know when i would visit my mom sometimes she had bruises and what not and it wasnt till i was 16 that i realized what was going on, she wont listen to me, wont leave him, and i suspect he still hits her. he controls her too. i try to help, ive called the cops in the past, but nothing. i fear for my little brother seeing this. hes a good kid, even walks his butt to church every sunday. but my mom, i feel like i cant help her anymore. how many years of trying to help someone do you take? and then they still choose a man over her own flesh and blood!!! what should i do???
What can I do if my mom wants me to take her side and constantly bash my dad? My mother blames my dad for our economic problems, but my mother has never worked, only my dad, and he blames her for her lack of support. What can I do?
Walk out of the room as soon as you suspect a fight will take place. Your parents have problems between themselves, and your mother is attempting to get added support against your dad. She has absolutely no right to attempt to gain your support against a person who is also your parent in addition to keeping the bills paid for your home. Tell your mom this, that you don’t want to hear anything bad against a person who has given you half the traits you have in addition to the 100% monetary support. That is unfair and also destructive to you.Doing this will give you much peace of mind. Also, as you grow older and begin to experience more about married relationships, you will be able to see and determine for yourself what was right and/or wrong with your parents’ relationship. Hopefully, this will be done with an objective eye. In this way, you yourself, will not in any way feel any guilt in reference to what happens to the marriage in the future.Good luck and lots of fortitude to you.
What to do when a mother chooses a man over her kids?
and he is abusive. when my 13 year old brother was a new born i watched him throw a wallet at him in the face and other things, i protected him then when i was about 7, then i lived with my stepfather-who is more like a father to me than anyone...he is my father!!! i know when i would visit my mom sometimes she had bruises and what not and it wasnt till i was 16 that i realized what was going on, she wont listen to me, wont leave him, and i suspect he still hits her. he controls her too. i try to help, ive called the cops in the past, but nothing. i fear for my little brother seeing this. hes a good kid, even walks his butt to church every sunday. but my mom, i feel like i cant help her anymore. how many years of trying to help someone do you take? and then they still choose a man over her own flesh and blood!!! what should i do???