Should i stay with my mom or move in with my dad?
okay so... i am 13 my parents have been divorced since i was 2 and my mom recently just got remarried and i had to move in the middle of 7th grade the past six months have been hell my mother has been getting on my last nerves so has my step dad all that me and my mom have done these past six months is argue , but lately i have been thinking about moving in with my dad but i don"t want to leave my mom because i love her way too much . my mom has been thinking of moving to VA which is the same state my dad lives in so i could be closer to him .i just found of that out of the blue my father is trying to get custody of me because he thinks that i m not in a stable enviorment and that my mothers doesn't let me spend time with him or let him see me with is all not true but thats what he is telling his lawyer... i asked my mom what she would do if i went and lived with my dad and she said she would be sad which breaks my heart..... i really don't know what is best for me my mom does every thing for me and she provides me with so much and cares for me but the arguing has gotten out of hand . I am gonna try and stay with my dad over the summer and see what its like and if i like living there and go back with my mom during the school year and if the arguing and drama is as bad as is was last year than i will try living with him during my 9th grade year and if things work out...... i just really need some advice
How do I convince my mom to move with me to US?
I would encourage your mother to recognize the tough and growing tougher economic and political situations that the USA is struggling with. I can't imagine transit or relocating being shut down between our beloved territory of Puerto Rico and USA, but I can imagine many other things happening that could impact all sorts of resettling options. Recently President Obama committed to accepting the relocation of 3,000 refuges from the criminal violence that is being committed in Guatemala, El Salvador and Honduras by October 2016. This will lead to more competition to services designed to both protect and help people (as well as another 85,000 from all over the world, including 10,000 from Syria). As managing our population gets more complicated, all it takes is a few disasters for the government to ramp up certain population control measures... tell your mom NOW is the time to come, not later, before too many others are competing for the resources that she deserves, as an American! Just tell her, she can ALWAYS return to Puerto Rico, such a beautiful place. I can't help but ask, if you all are followers of Jesus (?), if so, you may have heard of a special little church called the House of Restoration and Mercy? If you have not heard of it there are two videos I recommend, one from 2010 modestly done, and then one in 2012 done by a lady named Patricia King who hosts a show called The Extreme Prophetic. If you go, could you please ask that very humble group to pray for me and my son to get my son and his brother out of Africa to us to his new home as soon as possible. PLEASE. Thank you. Just so you know, at least as of a couple years ago, the little church in Puerto Rico is very humble and focuses on worship. There, God's Angels come and hang out, heavenly oil pours out of the ceiling, walls and pulpit and is squeezed out of the bible; BIG Angels leave footprints made of diamond dust and more than 1,800 gems have fallen by a couple years ago. Just sayin... if you're there, you might as well stop in... no? May get the prayers you need to get your mom over her fear of change... May you and your smarts and insight and talents and faith move you and your mom all the way to the States SOON! Thank you for your A2A. Please re-ask if other info is needed along the way and I will try.
How did you move on after your mother's death?
“How did you move on after your mother's death?”Life's a journey and death is part of that journey. My Mom will have been gone for 9 years on January 24, 2018. She passed 2 months after being diagnosed with lung cancer that had metastasized to her brain so her quick passing was a blessing for her. She raised 5 kids after my Father passed in March 1968 when I was 3 years old.I count myself as extremely fortunate to have been able to have that time to spend with her in a more focused way. Before her diagnosis, I would make excuses when she called or wanted to do something with me. I justified my inaction by saying, “I have other priorities that are keeping me busy. There will be lots time for her later.” Mom was in hospice for 4 weeks, I stayed with her for 17 days and made sure to talk to her at least twice a day when I couldn't make it to see her.After my Mom died, I didn't have time to grieve because my older siblings, their kids and my kids were falling apart. Someone had to try and hold the family together. I had made a promise to Mom that I would do my best to keep the family from splintering. What I didn't know, was that my Mom had told the rest of the family that she had passed the family reins to me, her youngest! As you can imagine that didn't go over very well!Some people say that there's linear path through the stages of grief but I know that's a falacy. Yes there are stages that most people go through but in my experience there's no rhyme nor reason to the journey. Grief happens in the same messy way that most of life happens. I've accepted that I'll never have those days that I avoided her or any others. I've forgiven her and myself for the bad and cherish the good. I make sure that my grandchildren hear their great grandmother's life stories. Although I'm an atheist, I wear her cross everyday because it reminds me of the wonderfully screwed up, loving, confused, angry, generous, determined, bat-shit-crazy, mega-bitch human being who was my Mom!Losing your Mom is one of the most painful thing people go through and there's no one path for dealing with that pain. The best you can do is live your life in such a way that would have made her proud.Peace and BlessingsNOTE:Before anyone gets their undies in a bunch about me saying my Mom was a “bat-shit-crazy, mega-bitch”, those are her own words and for her a badge of honor. She made hats totes for herself with those words.
Is my mom moving too fast?
so i'm 18. my dad of 41 died last february of a sudden heart attack when i was still 17. ever since things haven't been the same. six months later in august she started dating this man. and while yes i like him and he seems like a good person, it just seems she's moving way too fast. fast forward a couple of months later and.... THEY'RE ENGAGED. they plan on getting married sometime next year. i'm not happy about it at all. what should i do? i mean i like that the guy makes her happy, but my mom and dad were married for 18 years for christ sake. it feels like everything just flipped upside down over night this past year.
Is it possible to love your mom too much?
Ok now I know this might seem like a really stupid question but sometimes I think that I love my mom too much… to the point where it interferes with my life? Like I want to do things only with her and not my friends? (I’m a freshman in college by the way)…I just feel like she’s the only person who I can really trust, she helped me get my life back after my closest friends betrayed me in 10th grade, and she helped me when I had my eating disorder, and understands my “weird” eating habits when it comes to food. She just understands me so well...and no one else does like that. I tell her everything about my new friends in college, and the old ones and enemies I still have or know from high school. I basically tell her EVERTHING. We talk about sex, guys, gays, girl stuff, boy stuff, you name it... I still live at home, I was going to live in the dorms-signed up, met my roommate and everything, but then I just couldn’t do it. I missed my mom too much, and I wasn’t even gone yet! I mean, she’s like my best friend, sometimes I forget that she is my mom. Is this bad? That I’m avoiding or just simply don’t care about making friends that much? I mean its really easy for me to make friends, and I have a lot them, but I just don’t care to do stuff with them…I’d rather just do it with my mom..is this normal? (Please be nice)
My mom gives me too much food to eat, what do I do?
Okay, so I'm 21 years old. I know the best thing to do is move out on my own so I can make my own rules, but right now it's really hard to get a job and I've been trying so I have no choice but to stay home. Anyway, my mom is always giving me so much food to eat, and I can't take it anymore. She doesn't let me choose and even when I go shopping with her she gets what I choose, plus more food. For example, my mom bought me a bag of caramel filled Hershey's Kisses and a bag of mini Hershey bars. The counters are loaded with sugar cookies, muffins, and two LARGE cakes she got after Christmas. There is always so much junk food. On top of the cakes and cookies and muffins, there are two boxes of Poptarts, and we just got some burritos and other frozen foods. I wanted to eat a burrito for breakfast but she said we were going out to eat so I didn't. Today we went to a Chinese restaurant and I got a reasonable amount. She wanted to get me a sandwich at Subway but I refused, saying I'd have a burrito if I got hungry later. When we got home she went down to the store and got me a whole plate of food from the deli (spaghetti, mashed potatoes, fried macaroni nuggets [wtf?], and a roll, plus pecan pie)... then at Wal-Mart she got me a pre-packed lunch... omg. This is clearly too much food and worst of all, I suffer with an eating disorder! (Bulimia, ED-NOS) and I've been doing fine, not purging, but all this is leading me to start over... I'm not skinny, a bit overweight, and I feel awful. When I work out, she just gives me more food. I'm convinced she's jealous that I'm smaller because she is larger... I can't take it anymore and talking to her is not an option because she DOES NOT care and gets the food anyway. What can I do?
How do I deal with my mom moving away?
I suggest turning your thoughts around from what you are losing to what you have presently. I agree this is a dramatic and life altering point in a young woman’s life. In no way is this to be diminished.While divorce changes many things, your connection will be different without the physical closeness May I suggest thinking about the what will not change. You mother I’m thinking will still love you and want to know all about your life.Your father may be present as in proximity. There is WhatsApp, Skype, telephone calls, face time, etc etc. All quite private (privaish) and you can continue to keep your connection with your mom.Suggestion: Have a stuffed doll or item that you can hug, snuggle with when needed that represent your mother or is from your mother. Add a scarf or perfume or something of your mother’s to it. A blanket, sweater or like are also great physical items to help you feel connected. People do this regardless of their age, even my mother when my father passed would wear his sweater when she really missed him.[I read recently two male friends of 15 years were in a car accident, one passed and the other went to his house got one of his sweaters to keep. In the 10 years since he still wears it weekly with a warm heart.]
What should I do if my mom says that I have three months to move out after just turning 18 and have not graduated yet?
Have you been a good son/daughter? If so, she is out of line. If not, she is tired of all of your Cr….p. I would talk to her and ask her what the problem is and shape up. Go to school, do work around the house, and get good grades. If you are on drugs or drink too much alcohol, freeload off of her, and are lazy, who can blame her? Hopefully this is not the case.If she just can not afford to pay for you to live at home, I would ask her if she could at least wait until you graduate from high school. If she says “no,” ask another family member if you can live with h/her. If you can’t do that, maybe you can live with a friend’s family until you graduate. If you have no such luck, you need to grow up FAST, unfortunately. Wherever you live, you are going to have to be a good roommate and helpful. You will definitely have to get a job and pay room and board.Talk to a few teachers for advice and seek the help of a school counselor. See if you can sign up for welfare. There might be some assistance of some sort that the counselor knows about. There are also food stamps and churches that hand out food. You may have to go to the local college and see about getting assistance for living and other expenses. Try not to take out student loans. Hopefully you are a good student and will qualify for scholarships.If she kicks you out before you graduate, see if you have enough units to graduate early. If you never caused any problems, this is a shame but you can do it. If you have caused problems, she is probably tired of living with you this way.Once you turn 18, you have the “pink slip” to your life. You can be or do anything you want. Make it a good life.Good luck.
Should I move out, leaving behind my single mom?
There’s no right or wrong answer here. When you say “help buy a home”, you’re not really being clear as to what you mean. Are you going to buy the home yourself, and pay for it, or let her pay you to stay in the home? Do you mean you’re going to give her the down payment that she needs? Are you going to apply for the loan along with her, because she doesn’t have the necessary credit? Is the issue her income alone won’t qualify her, so you need to include your income as a co-applicant? It’s hard to answer with any certainty when you haven’t provided any pertinent details. If your mom hasn’t been able to save on her own to buy a house, how do you know she can afford to pay the mortgage, taxes, insurance, and maintenance once you’ve helped her buy the house? I would say if you are sure she could afford the house by herself if she only had the down payment, first see if there are any programs that she can take advantage of to assist with the down payment, so that you can keep saving your money for your own home. If the issue is her credit, and it’s because she is terrible at managing finances and paying bills on time, having a long term commitment such as a house is only going to make things worse, especially if you’re a co-applicant on the mortgage, in the event she can’t pay her portion and you’re stuck carrying the full burden on your own. If this is the situation, and she finds herself not able to make the payments at one point, are you going to be able to step in and help out, so she doesn’t lose the house (and your hard-earned money along with it)? It sounds like you make a promise to your mom that you didn’t fully think through, and now you’re on the hook and don’t want to feel bad about going back on your word. If it means that much to you, find a way to make it happen without keeping yourself stuck living at home, without jeopardizing your own credit, and without emptying your bank account. Again, it’s hard to answer when you haven’t really explained much. Helping her buy a home can mean many things to many people, and nobody can know exactly what it means to you unless you say it.
Is it weird or bad that I don’t like being around my mom? I love her to death but her presence is aggravating to the point where I arranged to move out with no money or job.
Ever since I turned about 11 or 12 years old my relationship with my mom has been very troubled. I can almost pinpoint the day it happened. I still love my mom unconditionally and I would not be where I am today if it were not for her. I owe her more than I could ever repay her. And in her own way, she reminds me very often just how much I've failed in her mind and disappointed her. We can only be around each other for a little bit before it's time for me to go home. I would rather sleep on the streets than under her roof again, even with the mental issues I face and I have slept on the streets. I still love her with all my heart.I don't know how old you are or what your relationship with her is like. If you are of an age to move out, then for your own mental wellness and for your relationship with your mom, get a job and move out. Also, don't forget to invest in yourself too. You can work and take classes too. Even if it's only one class per week. Even if it takes you 6 years to get a damn two year certificate or whatever. Your future self in 6 years will either hug you of today or want to choke you for not doing it.As for your mom, once you're out, see if you can talk to her. Try to do so without being accussatory. Be willing to listen to her side and take responsibility for your part or at least be willing to step into her shoes and see things from her side.If you don't think that will go well, see if she would be willing to get some family counseling.If everything fails and you two just can't seem to coexist, then visit for as long as you can stand her and then go.As for it being weird or bad, I don't think it's exactly normal and points to some problems that obviously need fixed. I really hope that you two are able to get help and have a better relationship in the future.