My mom screams at me when I drive?
I just finished my AAA driving course and the whole time on my drive home my mom kept screaming at me about everything. She'd tell me where to go too late then scream at me when I have to slam the breaks to turn because she waited too long. She yells at me when I slow down "too slow" or "too fast" but the driver instructor never once told me that I was slowing down bad. She screams at me when I make a turn because it's not the way she does it. She screams when a car is getting too close so I have to get closer to the curb and she freaks out. Then she tells me that she bets the instructor had to slow me down a million times and I said he never has and she called me a liar and that I can't admit it when he truthfully never used his breaks. He told me to drive more OUTSIDE of neighborhoods but she freaks out so bad whenever I drive. When we got home she goes "You'll never get your license. You are too tense on the road " I just got home and broke into tears because SHE's the reason I get tense. I'm scared on the road with her because she screams at me the entire time and it freaks me out. I don't know what to do. The instructor said I was a good driver and would get my license with no problem but she just freaks me out so much.
What can I do when my mom starts yelling at me? I've tried zoning it out and being the obedient listener, but nothing works. It's starting to wear down the self-confidence and respect I've built up and I don't know what to do.
Start by recognizing what's good in your life. That is your baseline. I see that you have a mom and that she wants what she thinks is best for you. Some people don't have that benefit.Also recognize that it's pretty classic that parents drive their children away because of fears, especially of losing control. Life has dangers that scare them, but you very much need to learn to manage those dangers yourself.If your mom is criticizing you very much, realize that she is making a strong mistake. Her emotional immaturity has grabbed her and she has fallen into a trap of promoting what she believes is bad. Rise above that by seeing what's good. You can always turn a bad opinion into a good one. Do that and push it back on her.If she is giving positive good opinions, count your blessings and make sure you accept her opinions even if you disagree, which is your right.If she's giving negative opinions then realize she's manipulating you to force her opinions on you. Help her to turn negative to positive. Feel sorry for her lack of emotional maturity and falling into the control freak trap.
My driving instructor yelled at me and i broke down in tears........?
I signed up for driving school and i am now paying for extra private lessons since i don't have anyone to practice.However,my instructor is short tempered and he gets made when i make mistakes.He told me that i am much better than before and i am in the second level.so in order for me to be on the advanced level he has to be hard on me and strict and he told me not to take it personally because he wants me to get better.However,i feel uneasy with him and pressured so it makes me even more nervous and less alert i am afraid hat he will raise his voice at me if i make a mistake so i tense up.I almost ran red light and drove too close to a parked car without even notice and i never made this mistakes with my previous instructor In addition,today when i was making a right turn on the green light there was a bus in the middle of my lane so i moved closer to the curb so won't be too close to the bus and i ended up hitting the curb and he just lost it and he asked me to drive to the dmv to park the car as soon as i park the car,he stormed out the car and slammed the door and went to take a breather.I know what i did was dangerous and i didn't use good judgment but i broke down in the car and started crying. I am so disappointed in myself for keep screwing up. He then came back in he car and apologize for loosing his temper.He told me that i can call him back to book more lessons if want but i am not sure. i want to have more lessons with him.I am thinking to try a different instructor but i am not sure if i need a strict instructor to be come or better driver or if i am better off with someone who is laid back and correct my mistake without getting mad?What should i do?
Why do I feel like screaming for no reason at times?
Most of the time the reason behind wanting to scream for “NO Reason” is Frustration/ Anger/ Hatred or some other Ill-Feeling. And not being able to express this negativity out on a person or situation is what causes the need to just “let it out” in the form of “screaming”.When we are happy, excited for a certain reason - we let it out with tears of joy or screaming in extreme joy. But there’s a reason there.In case of negative feelings like anger or frustration, and many a times we are confused with several issues in our head. Many of these issues might go unaddressed or you are just helpless in situations where it begins to build up within you. It starts to aggravate more and more within yourself if you store more of these negative ill feelings within. As a result, you will break down and scream in order to release all of these entangled emotions within. There could one situation/ person… too many entities or just people related to each other giving birth to frustrations within. And if you aren’t able to or willingly don’t express your protest in situations that agitate you - you will only get more and more frustrated within.And one fine day, you will for no good reason scream on the wrong person or in a wrong situation. And this could have harsh consequences on a relationship with someone else being screamed at. If you are able to just scream out in the open air where no one is hurt - that’s the best thing you can really do!So either scream out your emotions out in open air without really hurting someone else - but just keep it to yourself; Or even better - just try to express your unhappiness/ distaste in situations or to people who are causing the source of such negativity within you.Ultimately, its only you who can manage situations that affect your state of mind.
Why does my mother's presence make me so stressed and agitated?
I see you have had a rough childhood, but I have seen this dynamic, even when people have a good childhood, with decent parents. My sister loathes my mom’s every move. My mom is a happy, friendly, helpful, kind person. My sister interprets these personality traits as stupid, unmannered, meddling, needy, and weak. She thinks my mom is not polished, nor professional. My sister would like to control what my mom can do and who my mom can be friendly with. To my sister, being aloof and reserved is how you act if you are smart and professional.To be fair, my mom can also push my buttons sometimes. She is somewhat loud when she enters my house and seems to need immediate attention. She quiets down after a while. One thing she does that directly irritates me is groom me - like if we are out and my shirt has a hair on it or a thread or my collar is crooked, she just cannot keep herself from adjusting my personal appearance. It feels like criticism of the way I look. It is probably her own OCD like behavior.I suspect that in trying to define our own selves who are separate from our mothers, we try to move away from the things that we don’t like about them. Who wants to be “just like their mother”? Almost no one. The irony is that most of us do share so many traits with our mother - myself included. That is a source of irritation. That trait or mannerism my mom has (that I wish I didn’t also have and am pretending I don’t) surely is irritating. It is easier to criticize our mom than to recognize it in ourselves.Another thing to consider is that children sometimes feel the most safe expressing anger toward parents who they know will love them anyway.I guess I wanted to let you know that lots of people feel the same way about their mothers and that it might not be only related to your difficult childhood.
My riding instructor yelled at me??!?
Hey :) so I started riding about 3ish years ago. I started at a lovely stable, beautiful facility, nice people, well trained horses etc. and I loved it! I had a really great instructor and she was very knowledgeable, in little over a year I had jumped 4ft and placed in 3ft hunter. anyway, I loved her but when I would do something wrong she got pretty nasty and yelled a lot. we had a good relationship though and she would yell but then a few minutes later she was happy again so it never really bothered me. anyway, she ended up leaving the stable and I left also to ride at the new stable she was teaching at. this was a much smaller stable and she had me riding fairly green horses and horses that had been abused because she trusted me and felt I was advanced enough. remember at this time I had only been seriously riding for 2 years or so, but again, she had trained me very very well. but, even so I struggled quite a bit. and she would just get so angry at me and scream at me until I was crying and she had to leave. it was just never ended and every lesson seemed to end in tears. she would often bring me to the stable on weekends and we would feed the horses and talk about riding and she would sit down and try and help me with my struggles. she would drive me home and we would have long talks about why I was having difficulties. she seriously put so much time into helping me and I know she believed in me but it got to the point where I didn't even want to ride anymore. I dreaded going to a lesson in fear that I would be screamed at for doing something wrong. I ended up quitting last year because the pressure was too much to handle. I never wanted to get on a horse again. I recently have been interested in taking lessons again but I want to know, are there instructors out there who won't shout at me if I do something wrong? I feel so traumatized that I don't think I could handle being shouted at like that again. I'm very scared and nervous that I will do something wrong and I just don't think that's the way riding should be. am I overreacting or is screaming at your student a normal thing to do?
Why do I hate driving?
I agree with Millie, you are afraid of getting yelled at when you make a mistake. Your mom helped to create that issue in you, and she sure isn’t going out of her way to help you overcome it either. Just keep driving, and over time, your anxiety will melt away.I know this because I have been in the same situation with one of my kids:I have a son who was deathly afraid to drive. I had to force him to get his learners permit at 17 and one time while driving with him, I noticed how tense and stiff he was while driving. I had him pull into a parking lot (which he promptly hit the curb turning into and cussed himself out for doing so) and I knew right then what was wrong, but I asked him to tell me what was wrong, and he said “I am afraid that you or mom would yell at him when he made a mistake while behind the wheel”. I than asked him “Did I yell at you when you hit the curb just now?” and he said “no, and neither did mom, but Tim(older brother) yelled at me over and over calling me all sorts of names, when I did it with him a couple times” and I told him “F#$% Tim, from now on, only me or your mom will give you lessons from now on”. Guess what, 5 months later, the kid got his license, and although he was still afraid to drive, my wife and I made him run errands for us on occasion and also do the driving when we went somewhere, and the tense, stiff kid I had observed months prior was gone, instead was a kid who was actually enjoying sitting behind the wheel.Incidentally, I never had to lecture Tim about what he had caused in the kid, another kid overheard my wife and I discussing it and told him about it, and he immediately apologized to the kid before we could talk to him.