How can I stop my mother controling my life?
She wants you to have the best life you can......she doesn't feel controlling, she feels panicked you do not listen to her. She believes that you will make mistakes she made, and she wants to help you avoid that. She doesn't want to be useless, ignored, and in a corner as she grows older. You could say, as soon as she starts, "Mother, you do everything so well, can you do X for me?" or "Mother, Do you feel you could write all this down so I can keep a book for the children?" If she continues, you could ask her for advice on EVERYTHING when she is around. "Mother, i need to clean the table, which towel should I use?" then, "Can you show me?" then, "I need to vacumn, but I don't do this well, can you show me?" down through "I don't make a good curry, can you show me, and can you use my camera to take pictures as you go" and on and on. Make her feel useful, and tire her out. And......as a side note, you cannot feel insufferable. Your mother is insufferable. Little grammar error, here, I can show you better (There, does that feel like home?)
I am depressed because my single mother keeps yelling at me all the time. What should I do?
As one who has experienced children leaving the nest only to mistakenly believe they can return home, I am of the opinion we are missing part of the story. What is she yelling about? Being that you are employed, are you contributing to the household expenses and housework? While I understand your father sends money, that alone may not be sufficient for all expenses. If you are paying your share, and maintaining yourself and your surroundings, what is the problem? Are you disrespectful, or what exactly is the trigger? It may very well be that your mom feels she has done her duty, and is ready for you to leave. At 21, you should have already been gone. You cannot grow as a person remaining in the same household you grew up in. There are responsibilities that are learned only by being out in the world. Just how long do you expect to stay underfoot and tied to her apron strings? Go. There is a world out there just waiting for you to make of it what you will. Go. Make a life for yourself, make decisions, make wrong decisions, go and learn to stand on your own. Go. Staying home with mom is the surest way to remain depressed. Go. Learn to live and be happy doing so.
Why are mothers-in-law so annoying?
I am sharing my experience here.I always observe my mother in law's and my mother's behaviour.I think a lot about it because I am really confused why they behave like this.I do believe “ that everything happens for a reason” and I find out the reason. Hurry… hurryy……Women in general are frustrated.They pass all the sufferings to you and they find happiness in seeing you (daughter-in-law) suffer.Actually its not their fault.They have no guts to show their pain to their loved ones(child and husband) and these loved ones are least bothered about how “SHE” feels.The statement is controversial but it's truth “ Men are silent killers”.And we women are “barking dogs who seldom bite”.Think when women marry,what she gains and what she has to give.You can count it.Iam sure gains are less compared to lose.Men in other hand gain a lot.Women's responsibility after marriage1.Cook food for husband and family2.Respect and obey his family3.Sacrifice her ambition(because of workload, less time compared to men)4. Look after her baby(less time less progress on her career)5. Critizing Mother in law ( which is impossible for a man)Note the point - mothers (both your and his)criticize or compare you more than him.Why???If they say something to him he can atleast reply.What about us women???Sacrifice,Sacrifice,Sacrifice .That's the condition of the female.Women have been conditioned to sacrifice for centuries.A famous quote.So after all the sacrifices they had done to their son and family.When they see you happy without any pressure(or responsibility)as they used to do at your age.They find themselves as fools and try to annoy you because they are frustrated.But they are less harmful compared to father in law's.Men know how to manipulate women.Men give key and women play.Iam sure you too are going to be a annoying mother in law to your future daughter in law.Not only you me too.This mother in law ,daughter-in-law problem is continuing for centuries.
My brother keeps trying to discipline/control me!?
My brother is three years older than me, and ever since our mom died earlier this year, he's been trying to step in and control me. Like, he's constantly trying to enforce my 10:00 curfew, even though our dad is never even home by that time. And he's constantly checking up on me if I bring a boy home, constantly opening up my bedroom door, and even yelling at and kicking one of my boyfriends out one time. And now that school has started back up, he's become even more insufferable. He's a senior and I'm a freshman, and he's made it his duty to make sure I go to school, do my homework. I skipped school one day, and he literally went to all my teachers, told them I was sick, and picked up all the homework I missed...then, when he got home he yelled at me and made me actually do the work. Then the next day, he followed me to my first class to make sure I was going. I keep telling him to mind his own business, that he's not my parent, but then he goes on about how our dad is not doing anything, and someone has to? And I'm just thinking, no, if my dad isn't doing anything, it means that nobody has to do anything, right? How do I get my brother off my back?
Is it normal to imagine yourself committing suicide?
The past few months I've found myself imagining myself committing suicide. Drinking bleach, stabbing myself, over dosing on anything I can get a hold of. But the only thing that ever brings me to a rational state of mind is thinking of my family. My mother mostly. But sometimes that doesn't even help. I also think that my single mother would be better without me. So what I'm asking, is it normal to imagine *yourself committing suicide? not thinking of ways to do it, but day dreaming of yourself, from either 1st person or 3rd person view, committing suicide.
How can I get along and help my sister? She’s insufferable in my eyes and is disrespectful to everyone.
It is commendable that you see the value in trying to rebuild a healthier relationship with your sister. Sibling relationships are perhaps the most important relationships we forge as they often last longer than any other. Being able to count on a sibling is really wonderful.Sibling conflict is very common. It is often caused by parents’ desire for no conflict. But, the best way to reduce conflict is to make sure the children are free to try and learn to resolve conflicts themselves. Parents can coach but should not forbid conflict.i suggest thinking back to see if you can identify things that caused conflict. Could your sibling be being treated differently from the way you are treated? Once you have carefully considered causes, you might make an overture toward your sister to see if she has some understanding that you are unaware of. You might let her know that you want a fresh start and would like to have a more conciliatory relationship. Have it away from the family home if possible.She may have no desire to reconcile with you due to a perception of betrayal or even some mental illness such as psychopathy. Her decision could change after time, even a great deal of time, or it could be something that never resolves. If that appears to be the case—and even if it isn’t the case—remember these words of wisdom:”Friends are the family we choose”. Go find good friends.
My brother keeps trying to discipline me and control me.?
My brother is three years older than me, and ever since our mom died earlier this year, he's been trying to step in and control me. Like, he's constantly trying to enforce my 10:00 curfew, even though our dad is never even home by that time. And he's constantly checking up on me if I bring a boy home, constantly opening up my bedroom door, and even yelling at and kicking one of my boyfriends out one time. And now that school has started back up, he's become even more insufferable. He's a senior and I'm a freshman, and he's made it his duty to make sure I go to school, do my homework. I skipped school one day, and he literally went to all my teachers, told them I was sick, and picked up all the homework I missed...then, when he got home he yelled at me and made me actually do the work. Then the next day, he followed me to my first class to make sure I was going. I keep telling him to mind his own business, that he's not my parent, but then he goes on about how our dad is not doing anything, and someone has to? And I'm just thinking, no, if my dad isn't doing anything, it means that nobody has to do anything, right? How do I get my brother off my back?
Why does everything my mom says and does annoy me?
LOL. I honestly think it’s a combination of confirmation bias, familiarity, hormones, evolution and nature.You see it a lot with kids going through their teens and parents. It’s like, nature is preparing you (and them) for the separation that’s about to happen, so you can embrace the freedom develop your own life, and have a family of your own, and they can give you that freedom without their hearts completely breaking.So, what happens on your side, is that you get super-annoyed by everything your mom says and does, so you start looking forward to being independent.What happens on your parents’ side, is this incredibly adorable, loving child, who they love more than life itself, is now acting like a porcupine, ready to spew porcupine quills at them, whenever they say or do anything.So, your parents start looking forward enough to a cease-fire, that they don’t try to stop you when you decide it’s time to fly from the nest. Although they’ll always be there to catch you if you fall instead of fly.Basically, if you thought they were super-cool always and they were utterly besotted with you always, there’s no way you would ever let go of each other. And that might hinder your natural evolutionary process as you grow from a teen to an adult.Also, as you grow from a child to a teen and from a teen into an adult, you expect greater freedom and responsibility, and you want to be treated like an adult. For a parent who’s been responsible for you, from the moment of conception on through babyhood, toddler years, childhood, teenage years, etc., they can have a hard time letting go of that feeling of responsibility and that feeling that you’re their child (emphasis on child), so often that period of separation is necessary to change the relationship from parent-dependent child to something more equal.After the teen years are over, once the child is in their 20s, or sometimes later, (sometimes much later, depending on how rocky the parent-child relationship was), you’ll find that the relationship between you and your parents gets strong again, and they no longer annoy you the way they did when you were in your teens. That’s when you’ll start valuing them again. Or, at least, they’ll annoy you in a different way. LOL.