My mom is so judgmental?
my mom is a really judgmental person, probably because of what shes gone through in her life, but thats a whole other story. since she is so judgmental, shes scared of anyone judging her so everything has to be perfect, ordinary, and flat out boring. she wont let me get acrylics, color my hair, do a lot of things with my friends, get a second ear piercing, NOTHING and i know that shes not worried about people judging ME about how i look/percieve myself, but what people will think of her as a mom i wish she would just relax for one second and realize that im a teenager and its what we liked to do, and this is just how this century is. i hate how boring and plain everything always has to be, just cause shes scared of how people will look at her. what do i do to help my mom just chill! also, how could i convince her to let me get my hair dyed/get my nose peirced? based on what i just told you, it might be a little difficultt
My mum is so judgemental????
my friend who is 19 has just got pregnant and my mum is soo judgemental about it, shes like oh god lets get jeremy kyle in and its just like ahh? the annoying things is (im 16) and i want a baby young (not til 19/20) but if i have a baby before im 23 my mum would be so judegmental that i was to young and what not, what should i do? that was just an example it happens with other things aswell.
My mother is so judgemental...?
Okay so I'm just another teenager (16 years old) complaining about how unfair her life is when really it's pretty good. But if I could just get some answers that would be great because I like having an answer to things My mothers side of the family are very old fashioned and judgemental. My mother always makes automatic judgements on everyone even before she speaks to them. And her attitude towards people who are 'different' by choice disgusts me. I'm into the more alternative grunge punk fashion scene. I hate conforming to today's 'idealistic' fashion and lifestyle choices. Although I'm scared to show her that because of her reaction. She hates facial piercings, tattoos and coloured hair with a passion. She will openly b*tch and complain about anyone with those things and it really hurts me inside since I find them to be artistic and interesting. I have even considered Getting a lip piercing, a tattoo and colouring my hair blue but she wasn't very happen even when i used hairspray to put blue in it for a costume party. She always calls me out for wanting attention when I wear band shirts and my Dr. Martin boots and has banned me from wearing eyeliner and is constantly accusing me of copying my friends (who dress punk/ grunge/ Alternative) She's got this attitude From my grandma who actually said 'Are you still a girl?' To my best friend, who has recently gotten piercings and shaved half her hair off. Maybe I'm just whiny and I take things too seriously. I haven't been diagnosed by a professional but I'm pretty sure I have depression due to being bullied my whole life. I'm scared to be myself around my mum in fear of disappointing and upsetting her and it really gets me down sometimes. What can/should I do? I don't even know what my question is to be honest... (I think I'm just venting) Ps. Also, sorry if this doesn't make sense. I'm so incredibly tired and feeling sick right now. I'm a lot more intelligent than I seem on here...
Why Is My Grandma So Judgmental?
Honestly, there isn't really anything you can do. Most grandparents like to stick with the "classics." What I mean by that is that they like to stick with things "during their time." So, they think the whole world revolves around them (With all due respect to elders) and they don't even think about how the world and society has changed. They see everything how they saw it growing up and they think everything is still how is was back then. A lot of elder folks don't understand why people really like computers, phones, and all these gadgets we have now, because they do not grow up with it. The generation after them, our parents, are new to technology, so they fairly understand but are not immune to their cell phones and iPods as our youth is. Technology was just an example, but elders see the same with almost everything, including styles, careers, jobs, goals, fashion, everything! So don't take it too personally if your grandma judges you, they are just unaware about how things change. ANSWER: Sorry this is late, but a good way to help your grandma change her opinion is just to put on these "shoes." That is what I do when my grandparents visit. Everyone has these "shoes" whether it's Little Daddy's Girl- Shoes, Momma's Boy shoes, Tough guy for your Girlfriend - Shoes, Sexy bad girl for your Boyfriend -Shoes... Get a pair of "Grandma's Perfect Granddaughter shoes," just dress the way she likes to see you, act the way she wants you to act, and say the things she wants to hear when she is around, but when she leaves, just be yourself. Unless she lives with you, then I am very sorry.
Boyfriends mom is really judgmental, doesn't like me at all?
Well me and my boyfriend have gotten into fights in the past, but we have always resolved them. Well I guess he has told her about one or two, which I wouldn't think is a problem. But she thinks I'm making him upset all the time? Even though he tries to tell her that it's the opposite. But that's not even the half of, when she saw my tattoo's she nearly fell over. I'm in highschool with two tattoo's. But a lot of people at my school have tattoo's and no one really thinks it's a big deal except her. There really tasteful and mean a lot me to me and my mom. I have my nose and belly button pierced and she thinks this is discusting. Now I only know all of this because she has openly expressed these feelings to me through rude comments and the dirty looks I get. When I told my mom that, she got mad and said I'm not aloud over there and told my boyfriend that I'm only aloud there when his mother can act with a little class. Which he agrees with. Even though my boyfriend says this doesn't bother him at all, I know it affects the way he thinks about me. And since I don't go over to his house anymore, we don't hangout as much. I'm worried all the things she says about me, might make him change his mind about our relationship. Also, if my mom hears any more of this shes gonna call her up and give her a piece of her mind. If it was anyone else I would laugh, but I don't want to loose him. What should I do?
Is there a need to talk to someone about my mum being a prostitute? I’m 15 and I have a 13-year-old brother. She does it from home, but goes elsewhere when we are there. Should I be concerned? Would I be right to talk to a teacher for advice?
It’s not your mom being a prostitute which affects you. It’s society’s reaction to prostitutes which harms your relationship with your mom. Please, think of a single reason of why it should be a big deal. Does she harm you? Doesn’t she take care of you and provide for you? Doesn’t she love you? Does she harm anybody else? Judging from your question and its description it seems to me that she is a regular caring mom. But let’s assume for a second that you could answer yes to any of the questions above and take a look at this:B.C. Student Who Drowned Newborn Before Writing Exam Avoids Jail'Devoted' mother beat son to death for failing to learn KoranThese are just two of the, unfortunately, thousands and thousands of child abuse and infanticide committed by mothers who were not prostitutes. There is no correlation between negligence towards children and being a prostitute. A bad mother is a bad mother and a good one is a good one. Period. If your mother was bad to you, she would be even if she was a respected school teacher. In fact, it’s my understanding that she is not bad to you and that she is selling her body to provide for you and your brother. I will be criticized for this, but to me it’s a great act of love towards you guys.If I was you, and unless she abuses you, I wouldn’t talk to a teacher about it: you will put in motion the machine of social judgement and contempt which will ruin your mom’s life forever and possibly yours as well, if you’ll be taken away from her.Talk to her instead. Express your concerns to her. Try to understand her reasons and ultimately focus on her love for you and your brother and accept her decisions and path while ignoring any third party’s influence over your feelings: they are not your mother, she is.
Why are some mothers who exclusively breastfeed so judgemental towards other mothers who feed their babies formula (whether exclusively or not)?
I'm not sure where you live (there are big cultural differences in attitudes towards breastfeeding), but here are some things I've seen:Mothers feel passionate about doing the right thing for their babies, and often put a lot of effort into their decisions about how best to care for them. If another mom feels you've gotten incorrect information, they will probably want to share theirs. Because of the passion involved, this can feel like judgment, even when it's not meant to be.Breastfeeding if often hard. Often. Like, much more often than a lot of people admit. So moms will sometimes go on and on about how great it is to either convince themselves it was worth it or encourage you to stick it out. Again, this can come off as judgment, especially if you're struggling.Mixing breastfeeding and formula is tricky. There's bad information out there and there's no one-size solution. Babies have preferences, too, so once they figure out there's a choice, it gets even trickier. So many people who are in favor of breastfeeding will encourage new moms not to try formula at all, for fear they'll have problems with the mix and go formula-only. Again, this can sound like judgment, even if it's not meant to be.American culture is SO competitive. Even kids are a competition. So breastfeeding is just one more thing to brag about. Especially because attitudes towards breastfeeding (in public) are so negative in some parts of America, so if you stick it out you kinda feel entitled to brag.And then, as others have mentioned, there are the manufactured “mommy wars" that justify the spilling of so much ink.The bottom line is, a lot of moms aren't judgmental. Seek them out and surround yourself with people who support your decision to do what's right for your baby and your family (whatever that is in your case).And if you want help with breastfeeding, ask for it. If you don't know or don't like the La Leche people in your area, ask friends who successfully breastfed (exclusively or not). Chances are they had their own struggles and can offer some practical help, or at least support.
How do you deal with a family member who is constantly putting you down?
I am going to tell you how I dealt with my own mother’s put downs.I remember when I was growing up my mother would constantly talk about other people. She was and still is a very judgemental person. I didn’t know it then but she did the same to us, her own children. For example, when I was around 12 years old she would say things like, “You should do your eyebrows” or “when are you going to start shaving?” When I got a little older she would tell me to put on makeup if we were going to any type of social gathering. I didn’t think much about it then but as I got older I realized just how unhealthy this was to my young mind.As I got older I began to see her for who she is and along the way she managed to get in a few put downs that still sting to this day. I am a struggling student with a family and when I made some curtains for my place she was the quick to call them ugly and ask if me I was so poor I couldn’t afford curtains. I explained that I could have bought them but I wanted to save money and use up some extra sheets I had, this upset me because I was damn proud of my curtains! From this she assumed that I don’t have enough money to take care of my children’s needs let alone to buy christmas gifts.She has judged my parenting, my life choices, my partner, and my children themselves.So what I did was cut her completely out of my life. I wanted nothing to do with her because she is a toxic person that plants seeds of self doubt and I don’t want that around my children. I know this hurt her deeply and I think about it from time to time but I am happy this way because the cloud of negativity is gone.I realize though that she won’t be around forever and I don’t want to have any regrets. I plan to pick her up for lunch for her birthday and have a long good talk with her. I will let her know how important she is to me but how much more important my children are. I plan to have contact but a minimal amount in order to maintain my happy cloud.