Why are my parents so overprotective?
Im a 15 year old girl sophomore in high school and my parents stress me out too much. I dont have anyone else to turn or talk to My parents grew up in a different country and were raised very strictly. Here in the us the culture is different and they dont understand how things change Im everything they can ask for as a daughter. Ive always been in advanced classes. I have a 3.8 gpa & looking into going to a good college. Ive never been in trouble with the police or at school Im not interested in drugs or alcohol like most of my school/brother. I want to go out and be a teenager but my parents have me way too protected. I could go out and party, drink, hook up with guys come home late with my friends, etc, but I don't want to be that kind of teenage you know? My friends always invite me to things but I always turn them down. Their parents trust them & they dont try in school & they sneak around. I want people to respect me, but my parents don't even trust me, but for some reason they trust my brother. That's what hurts the most. I've been with the same guy on and off since 7th grade but they don't like him coming over, me going over to his house, ataying out too long without texting/calling me every 5 min. I mean I could be getting around, but I dont want to be trAshy like that. I barely even bother making plans with my bf anymore my parents say it's because im 15, but when my brother was 15 he was over at his new skanky gf's house 24/7. My parents say that theyll give me more freedom when I'm 18, but by then Ill be a sophomore in college prbly in a dorm off somewhere. I deserve to have some fun but I'm so tired/stressed of dealing with my parents. I understand where they are coming from but come on, I've never even had a sleepover. I feel like I'm missing out. I almost wanna rebel, like honestly if this continues, one day I'm just gonna crack and sneak around and do something plain stupid. I know my parents love me, but why are they like this..
What does it feel like to have overprotective parents?
It is good, bad and ugly.The good part.I was not much of a rebel. So I pretty much stayed at home. And my dad was super fun. We would spend quality time together. I didn't really need to be on night outs with my friends. My dad was my best friend. He was very conservative. My mother is extremely orthodox. I was not allowed to wear pants. But owned 3 pairs. They didn't want me to feel that they were not ready to spend for me. The bad partMy mother or brother would always accompany me wherever I went. (This is not bad but needs to be mentioned -if a friend visited me, my mother or brother would accompany them back to their house. They were protective of my friends too. They felt responsible). They would ask my friends to leave after 5 pm. It's like buy one get one free offer. My mother will always be around me. My mother will have autoinvite to all my friends' house. She has never been nosey but she would never leave my sight.The ugly part.Despite all this I was physically abused when I was 5. My parents don't know about it. It happened right under their nose. By a trusted person. No.... by trusted people. My father is no more so he will never know about this.His dying words to me were -don't work late. Get back home on time. Eat well. Sleep well.My mother is old and I can't share this with her now.Back then I was very scared to share it with them. I thought it was my mistake and thought I would lose my father's friendship.------------------------------------So was it worth it. Yes.Even though I didn't hang out with my friends 'outside', we had fun at home under my parent's watch. When my friends went out to a bar or to a pub - it was a strict no for me. Dad would compensate for it by playing some board game at home. Though I would be grumpy at first, I would eventually end up having fun.Now I'm happily married and have a child. My husband is very broadminded and is awesome. But I miss my dad.Now If I leave office late, no one calls to check on me. when I joined my first job, my dad would call me at 6:30 pm sharp. If I don't reach home by 7 pm. My manager would get a call at 7 pm... I just don't want to stop writing about how I feel. It may be I don't know how I feel. But my overprotective dad was one awesome man.
I'm 19 and my parents are still ridiculously overprotective. Help?
They've been very protective for as long as I can remember. I've been teased about it from other people, with them saying that my parents are crazy and that I'll never have long term friends/relationships if my parents keep trying to place barriers between me and the outside world. They are right, though. :( So anyway... I'm 19 now. I have a boyfriend. I don't drink, smoke, go to crazy parties, or hang around with dangerous people/places. My boyfriend and I like to hang out all day and stuff, and when we are out, my mom would keep texting me to "check up on me" which is so dumb because they have met my bf and my bf is such a nice guy. They don't even let me stay out after 9 PM. They would always tell me horror stories about what happens out there, and while I'm not ignorant of killers/rapists/etc, I don't want to constantly live in fear, you know? What should I do? I have spoken to them about this MANY times before but it never goes into their heads that I am now an adult. Help!
I'm 19 and my parents are still ridiculously overprotective. Help?
They've been very protective for as long as I can remember. I've been teased about it from other people, with them saying that my parents are crazy and that I'll never have long term friends/relationships if my parents keep trying to place barriers between me and the outside world. They are right, though. :( So anyway... I'm 19 now. I have a boyfriend. I don't drink, smoke, go to crazy parties, or hang around with dangerous people/places. My boyfriend and I like to hang out all day and stuff, and when we are out, my mom would keep texting me to "check up on me" which is so dumb because they have met my bf and my bf is such a nice guy. They don't even let me stay out after 9 PM. They would always tell me horror stories about what happens out there, and while I'm not ignorant of killers/rapists/etc, I don't want to constantly live in fear, you know? What should I do? I have spoken to them about this MANY times before but it never goes into their heads that I am now an adult. Help!
My mom is overprotective?
Hmmm yeah it sounds like she's pretty overprotective. How old are you? I'm guessing you're in your teens. My mom was really overprotective too. It can really suck. It sometimes felt like she was living my life for me, making all my decisions. In my opinion, the sleepover thing is because she's afraid something might happen to you. Maybe she feels uneasy because she doesn't know your friend or your friend's mom. Having an overprotective mom can be so very tough. I think the best way you can approach this is to sit down with her and have a talk. Be reasonable and mature and talk about a few of these things that are most important to you. Don't bring everything up. She'll be more likely to compromise if you only put a few things on the table (maybe sleeping over, music on your Ipod, and clothes?). Don't raise your voice even if she starts to piss you off. Show her that you're not a little girl anymore and you deserve to have some of these privileges. And if worse comes to worse, follow her rules and maintain a positive relationship with her. When you move out, you can do anything you want. Sometimes I worry about people with overprotective parents, because they sometimes rebel and start doing drugs or other reckless behavior. After being sheltered for so long, some people go all out. Just don't do that. You'll get through it girly. I hope you can figure it out! =]
Why do I feel so protective of my mom?
Because you're a good man. And as traumatic as the rape was for her it also effected you. Be careful you don't let your fears impact on her recovery but there's nothing wrong with loving someone. Maybe deep down there's a terror of something bad happening to her again, even paranoia, and being there is a way of having the kind of control over a situation you felt out of control of before. Being scared and protective can mean a strong bond born if severe abuse. You didn't say whether you trusted or hated your stepfather before the attack. Where you scared if him or have all faith in other men shattered by the loss if two significant male role models in your life and have reacted to pain they both caused your mother by trying to cushion and protect her from it. Maybe it's time to sit down with her and talk it through. The last thing shed want is you having the scares of the past wrecking your future and vis versa. Just talk it out. Privately. And take it from there. But as one guy whose seem their loved ones hurt to another I think highly of your behaviour but know you can't live out the rest of her days for her. It's time to let yourself start to feel more secure. I know, so easy to say