Should there be mandatory paternity tests at birth to prevent men from denying paternity and to prevent women from intentionally naming the wrong men as the fathers of their children/lying about the paternities of their children?
When I was in high-school, I was dating a man who cheated on me. The woman he cheated on me with got pregnant. We all knew it wasn't his baby because the timeline didn't add up. He's confessed what he did and begged me to give him another chance, but a few weeks later she crawled to him crying about how she was pregnant with his child.He didn't know what to do. He wanted to do right by his child, but didn't want to hurt me. I didn't want to be the person who kept a father from having a family with his children so I backed off, but I had a long conversation with him about how this just didn't add up.We stayed friend—not friends who hang out and talk everyday but we were friends on Facebook—and through the years I watched this proud father live his entire life for his daughter. Thousands of pictures were displayed proudly on Facebook, and he was beaming in every single one.She cheated on him throughout the entire relationship but he dealt with it because he didn't want to tear his family apart and hurt his daughter.Guess what …She ended up reconnecting with the actual father of the baby. She and the real father got a test done behind his back and when they got the results they tore his daughter away from him and he never saw her again.Can you fucking imagine?All of that could have been prevented by a DNA test being done the moment the baby was born, and then both parties could have decided what to do. Even though he had raised this little girl as his own, he had zero rights to her after the mother left him because he was not biologically her father. Had he known this, he could have insisted on adopting her early on and prevented that from ever happening.There are situations when this could be necessary. He had no reason to believe that kid was not his. He believed whole-heartedly that she was so he never thought about getting a test.I think woman who have nothing to hide wouldn't mind doing this anyway, and those who do should have to face the music of their choices. Fathers should have the right to arm themselves with information so situations like the one above stop happening, because they happen a lot. Women have the security of knowing for sure without a doubt that child is ours but men don't. This would give them that security that we already have.I honestly cannot think of an argument against it besides it being cost effective …
Told Wife I wanted a paternity test. She freaked out. What do I do?
Look, you are being wise. It is estimated that up to 25% of the children born to married couples are not actually the offspring of the husband. Women have been happy to scream about what they want, tell you how you are being mean or abusive or untrusting, unloving and so on when you do not want to go along with their wants, even if their wants offend or hurt you. So, reverse it and tell her that if she loved you and had nothing to be concerned about, this should not be any problem at all. Stand up for yourself. If the wife is mad, let her be. If she stays silent, let her. Men too often back down or give in, when they absolutely should not do so. To be honest about it, simply as a matter of protocol, I think that every man should insist upon a paternity test as soon as the child is born. By the way. Just read the comments you got from women and then tell me that they are not manipulative, self serving creators. Trust me, I bet at least one of those women who said you are wrong, knows for a fact that she has been passing a kid off to her husband and it is not his. And does she feel guilty about it or feel she is wrong? Of course not. That is just how women are. And when a man wants to stand up for himself and his rights and protect his interests, see how the females fangs and nails come out?
My wife got pregnant, but I'm sterile. Should I divorce her for cheating?
A childhood accident rendered me physically impotent for the rest of my life. However, it turns out my wife just got pregnant. She has been out of the house WAY more than usual lately, and I've found unexplained receipts in our bedroom. I'm thinking that she's been sneakin' off to have relations with others. I've asked her if she's cheated and she's said no, but how else could she get pregnant? I feel like she's not telling the truth.
If your ex tells you, she is pregnant with your baby, would you believe her? Would you be able to ignore her without knowing if it is true or not?
First of all if your ex says she is pregnant. Simple, go buy a pregnancy test kit. If it's positive. Ask her if it's yours. Let's say she says yes…ask if she wants yo keep the baby, also ask her if she is ready to settle down with you, let her know you are ready, if and only if there is proof the baby belongs to you.Now you have two options.DNA testing before birth (vilinus sampling could be very expensive).Wait till full term support her like it's yours then after birth do a full DNA test (might waste 9 months of your life)It's better to act now. It might seem to be a nuisance. But it could be worse. Imagine 18 later some angry teen comes to your house unannounced during dinner to disturb you, your wife and your 3 year old. And says good evening sir are you so and so person?, and you answer yes. OK cool I am your son, you left my mum and I to rot away. You are a Carlos and wicked man.Now you muat do the paternity DNA TEST you ignored 18 years ago, and you have to explain to your new wife, and kid, and friends and folks at work and they would all think I'll of you.Just do the right thing.A stitch in time saves nine
Is it wrong to ask your wife for a paternity test?
If he let me know before we tried to have a baby that he intended on getting a paternity test and his reasons for it, I would be okay with it. If I was sitting there after just pushing a baby through me and he picks then to let me know, I would take it pretty offensively.Try this: This is How I Saved My Marriage – Pete Menoi – MediumI guess the big difference is the idea that if I know a paternity test is something my SO has strong feelings on ahead of time, I can respect that. But if I don’t find out until we’re already having a baby, it would definitely seem like it’s ME he doesn’t trust. I feel the same way about a prenup. I will not get married without one. But that’s something I’m going to let my SO know far before getting engaged and not a few weeks before the wedding.I guess the big difference is the idea that if I know a paternity test is something my SO has strong feelings on ahead of time, I can respect that.It would be in a similar manner to a wealthy person asking for a prenup. It’s not that the individual necessarily doesn’t trust his/her partner, it’s just part of the legal formality.agreed. i plan on having this convo before I even propose to the woman. i’m definitely not going to spring it into the midst of pregnancy. i’m glad you understand.I’m an XY who has a history of placing trust in untrustworthy people. If I ever ask for a paternity test, it’s not necessarily because I don’t trust you per se, it’s more because I can’t trust my own judgment.As a matter of principle, I will get a paternity test for all of my children. Any woman who has a problem with this, well we’re simply incompatible. Nothing wrong with either one of us, just incompatible.Which is a shame too, because I really look forward to being a father one day and feel confident that I would do a pretty amazing job at it.This is the fairest and most reasonable answer on here. People get paranoid about things sometimes, however irrational. This is ofter less about the woman’s possible infidelity than it is about the man’s paranoia. Keep in mind, the only “proof” he has is your word.People have irrational fears, and this is a huge one for men. Weight your right to be offended against your value of your long term relationship.
Just Found out the new born baby is not mine?
I can't imagine the feelings you are having! or how difficult this is. Take a deep breath, and step back. A few days to calm down and think this over. You have treated the baby as if she was your daughter. You took care of her mommy, and her. You love this child. Now the world has fallen apart around you. The DNA test gave you the truth. And you know, how this woman treated you. And she did play you. Please do not stay with a woman who will walk all over you. You did wonderful things for her, and you deserve better! And you'll find better. As for the baby. If you have acted like a daddy, and are the birth certificate. That makes you the daddy, and anyone mother and child will be lucky to have you in their lives. I do know what you can do legally. I suggest you talk to a lawyer. perhaps you can still see the baby, if you want, and still be a daddy in her life. On the other hand, having your name removed from the birth certificate means that you are not connected to the mother. You can cut ties and move one. However, I do not believe you want to cut ties. You want to love that child, and be a daddy to her. Talk to a lawyer and see what can be done, if anything. Good luck. you're a good man, and something positive should come out of this situation. You just have to look for it, and wait and see how it plays out.
Found out the new born baby is not mine?
WOw...I mean, I’ve heard of some vicious acts, but this one cuts right through the heart. Well, I would say for starters leave her, but I would talk to her and tell her that you hope she never does anything like this again. If you don’t want to leave her, you have to be 100% SURE you want to raise the girl, otherwise it’s just going to be bad news. But otherwise, tell her that you won’t be able to stick around for obvious reasons and to cease all contact with you. I don’t know how your financial situation is but possibly take a nice long vacation somewhere far away. I won’t solve all your problems, but it will give you a chance to breath and relax. Try to meet new people and socialize. I’ve gotten my heart shredded before and I don’t know how you feel exactly, but I know that it felt like getting stomped on the head by a boulder. The sad thing is that I just felt like lying there and doing nothing about it as if I was waiting for death to just come and take me. The thing is that you have to realize that good and bad things come and go, and unfortunately it’s time for a bad one. So just toughen up a bit, go meet new people, forget about this girl and move on. Good luck bud!!
Girlfriend cheated, Girlfriend is now pregnant !?!?
i was with my gf 2 1/2 yrs. i moved down to so cal. she was supposed to follow, but instead starts to wander.. she sleeps with a 16 yr old kid (she is 19) and i didn't know she cheated yet.. she came down south to visit me finally after putting me through alot of ****. we had sex the first night (6 days after she first had sex with him and about 2 days since her last time having sex with him) we never used protection i always pulled out, that night she wanted me to *** in her and she would "stay with me forever" i still pulled out, but she thrust me back in immediatly with her legs.. she was with me 2 weeks then went back up, had sex with him more and then came down and found out she was pregnant, and then i found out she had been cheating on me all along. she said she used protection, he confirmed this. 1 should i stay with her now that she wants me back (this was her 2nd guy she cheated with) 2 the doc. measured featus, he put the date as first night she was with him. is it mine?
My ex girlfriend is apparently pregnant with my baby, how do I move forward?
The same way my husband moved forward.He wasn't sure if the baby was his, since the girl he fathered a child with had a massively bad record of making her rounds. Having one of his friends live with her for a couple of months made it that much worse in his eyes.He had thought it would tear us apart because we were just getting together and she was still pregnant. We had a discussion that we both agreed we didn't want a relationship with someone with kids already. Just because of this didn't mean I was to up and leave. He was honest with me.Anyways….The baby was born. They arranged for a paternity test to take place. They did some shady online thing. Where she had admitted to testing other men too. There was no names on it so it wasn't good enough for him. Though it was shady he didn't want to neglect the child simply because her mother did shady things. We arranged to have her every other weekend. (We got 2 weekends then found out I was pregnant. Had an argument and he blurted that crap out to her. After several attempts of her trying to bust us up to try get something going with him) after the announcement of my pregnancy she flipped. Started the process of hitting him on child support. Demanding back pay.Back to my original point.If there's any doubt to get a paternity test then to start working out an arrangement if you would like to be in the childs life. Also you could discuss with her how you could help her. After all it takes two to make a baby. If she decides to have an abortion then you could offer to be there to support her. The best you could do is support her and you can move forward with your working. Having a kid with an ex is not the end of the world.