Step-mom is pregnant!?
Ah, my mom and step dad announced my mom was pregnant when I was 16. I had the EXACT same feelings...about how I was going to be old, they weren't going to care about me as much...and I had the same guilt about those feelings. But then she came, and I still had the feelings...until I saw that baby girl. It went away so fast, I couldn't even believe it. I found myself waking up early before school to play with her, and pretending to be sick to stay home. My senior year I stayed home a lot because we didn't really have to go to school, and I would make my mom let my sister stay home from daycare with me...we would play all day, or go swimming or to the park or zoo. I love that now 4 year old with everything I have...I would give up my life in a second for her. She is the most loved thing I have ever been around, she has brought so much joy to my life. And even on the "worst" days of my life, all it takes is a "why you sad sissy? Uvvies!!" (uvvies means I love you to her) you will soon have words that are made up between the two of you, it really is an amazing relationship...i think it's because I am old enough that I'm not jealous of the attention she gets.
My stepmom is pregnant and my sister and I are both upset about it?
I'm 21 and my younger sister is 18. Neither of us have children, but our circumstances sound pretty similar other than that. My parents split up about a year ago and my dad's girlfriend is only 10 years older than I am. A week and a half ago she gave birth to my youngest sister, and I love her already just as much as I love the 18 year old. The fact that your step mom quit using birth control is an issue between her and your father, and he is a grown man, so he knows that having sex with her period created the chance she would get pregnant. Trust me when I say you don't want to get involved in that argument. But honestly, this kid is going to happen whether you want it to or not. So you have to decide if you want to be a part of this child's life and move on from the conflict, or that you're so angry you need to cut them out of your life. It's not wrong to feel angry, but you have to make the decision to put the anger past you. I hope you decide to be involved in his or her life, this might be a great opportunity for your child to have a really close friend and playmate as they get older and another opportunity for you to have a great sibling.
A number of the females in my family have had babies at a very young age. I had my first at 18. Two of my sisters had their first children before they were 17. One of my nieces had 2 children before 19.You do have the option of abortion if it is something you can live with. Some people can, some people cannot. If you cannot and do not feel ready to take on such a responsibility, adoption is another option. If you choose adoption, you will have to discuss it with the father of the baby. He might not want to help you or have any part of it. He might want to keep the child. It is hard to say, because I don't know either one of you.If you do not choose to abort or go with adoption, and if you don't miscarry, you will have a baby. It is painful. If you take good care of your body, exercise, eat right, get plenty of rest, it is LESS painful.You may or may not have people who will help you. One of my sisters had a fairly decent husband. He helped. His family helped. One of my sisters started working as a maid at the age of 16, making $1.25 per room at the motel. She worked very hard to take care of her daughter. She still works very hard, and 21 years later has a wonderful child, but not a lot else to show for it. You have to figure out how you will pay for your child. Children cost money. They need clothes and diapers and school supplies. They need shoes and dentists and doctors. They need food and a safe place to be. I suggest finishing school. You will be able to do more for your child and yourself. It will be harder if you have a baby, but you should be able to do it.You should talk to someone you trust. Preferably someone who is an adult and who cares about you. If you don't know anyone like that, go see a therapist. They can give you good advice and suggest things that you need to think about. Most importantly, if you DO decide to keep this child, use at least two forms of birth control afterward, until you are financially and emotionally capable of having more. I have 4. Two kids is 4 times the responsibility and cost. Three is 8 times more. If you keep your baby, you want to give it all the love and attention and STABILITY you can. You will regret it if you don't. It is a lifetime commitment. That will always be your child. WHATEVER you decide to do, remember, life goes on. You are not the first person to go through this, it is not the end of the world, unless you allow it to be. Best of luck.
There would be an elevated risk of a birth defect.Two randomly-selected humans will have about a 2-2.5% chance of having an offspring with a birth defect. It doesn't have to be severe, just detectable.The closeness of how two people are related is measured by something called an inbreeding coefficient. Essentially, it gives the odds that a desendant of the two people has two identical pairs of the same gene, such that recessive genes are expressed.For first cousins, the inbreeding coeficient goes up from 0 or very small (for two randomly selected people) to 6.25%. At that level, birth defects roughly double, to about 5%. But since that means that 95% of children from first cousin marriages will be genetically healthy, most families will not even notice.Families that mate first cousin to first cousin for several generations will have a much higher inbreeding coefficient, and problems will definitely arise. Charles II of Spain had an inbreeding coefficient of 25.4%, higher than for a brother-sister mating, due to several generations of cousin marriages. He was also mentally challenged, physically weak, and his jaws mismatched so badly that he couldn't chew food, and had to eat a diet of mush.A grandfather-granddaughter mating has an inbreeding coefficient of 12.5%. At that level, most of the children will not have a birth defect, but around 10-15% would. That's more risk than most couples would choose to take on.All the other matings in your list have an inbreeding coefficient of 25%. At that level, estimates of birth defects range from 20-50%. It's literally playing Russian roulette with the offpring's life and health. There's not a lot of hard data, because there just isn't a lot of these matches, and since they are illegal almost everywhere, the parents aren't usually willing to talk to researchers.There are also legal consequences. If the pair is discovered and known to have had sex (and a baby is wonderful genetic proof of that), either or both parents who are above the age of consent may be prosecuted. In most of the US, it is a felony crime (2-10 years in my state).
This is a tough question because I want to be honest but the truth isn't always pretty.It's hard. I struggle with affection in general. I'm not a “warm” person. It's easier with my biological children because they don't doubt my love for them. I've been meeting their needs for as long as they can remember. They know me. They know when I need space and they understand that it's just who I am. They don't take it personally.My stepson does not have the same understanding. So when I am “cold” or distant he assumes that it's because I don't like him. Or because I don't like him -as much- as my own children. In all honesty, I don't like him as much as my own children. But that is not the reason I lack warmth. This caused him to act out initally. I didn't include him in my “inner-circle” for the first year. I simply tolerated his presence. It wasn't until he had a legitimate problem that he needed my help with that we started to bond.It's gotten better with time. It takes time for anyone to understand the way I show “love”. I do so by being consistent and reliable. Always being able to offer viable solutions to problems and then following through until they're solved. I can offer exceptional help with any homework. His Dad can not help him much there. He gets more frustrated than the kids. His Dad thought he was doing a great thing once by buying him a ton of new “surprise” school clothes. He didn't like them at all,but didn't want to hurt his Dad's feelings by telling him. I picked up on it and took him to get the clothes he really wanted. He doesn't really understand me yet,but if he ever has a problem he comes to me. He knows I will fix it. If his Dad is not making sense or they are struggling to communicate he'll come to me and say “Can you explain to him what I'm saying…?”.He's almost 12 now and it's become more of a mutual respect and understanding for each other. There isn't going to be a Mom and Stepson movie marathon snuggle session…ever. But if he needs me I'll always be there. I'm pretty hard to shock so if he's in trouble he comes to me first. He trusts my advice. He trusts me to protect him.That's us, that's our deal.
My Brother is Dating a Pregnant Woman?
My brother, who is 28 years old, has always stressed that he'll never meet the right girl and even fears he'll never have any children. He has been in 2 serious relationships, one girl was very career driven and made it clear she didn't want children until later in life. The other woman he dated had huge drug problems, so it's no wonder (thank heavens) she never fell pregnant. I found out today he is now dating a woman who he met a few weeks ago -- who is 5 months pregnant -- the child isn't his (obviously as he only met her 2 weeks ago). When I found out she was 5 months pregnant my first reaction was -- who picks up a pregnant woman in the first place? And What is a pregnant woman doing out on the prowl for a boyfriend? Shouldn't she have more pressing priorities right now in her life? I told my brother what I thought about the situation, and he got really upset with me. Now my sister is abusing me for "trying to bring my brother down"... I'm not, I just want him to REALLY think about the situation -- in 4 months there is going to be a baby -- a baby he is apparently excited about being a father to!! Again, this goes back to his fear that he cannot have children. I told him to go have a fertility test if that is what he was afraid of... but that just got me more abuse from my sister again. My Father is also worried about the whole situation, but refuses to say anything to my brother about it. This woman is unemployed, half way through her pregnancy and looking to shack up with -- and (here is the clincher) name her unborn son after my brother that was killed in a car accident 7 years ago -- WHO DOES SHE THINK SHE IS? This child isn't even blood and she and my brother think thats a good idea? I'm just annoyed and want to shake some sense into him... What would you do in this situation? Should I have NOT said anything? I just feel like he is making a HUGE mistake...
No, keep it a secret. I slept with my fathers ex wife too but it wasn't when they were married. It was after they got divorced. If you sleep with her while they are married, it will definitely seem a lot more awkward and harder to live with. I can imagine how your feeling. However, if they aren't together anymore, its just like any normal relationship between you and her. She's not with your father anymore, so she would be pretty much just another women that you are no longer related to in anyway. When my dad and step mom were married, she would look at me strange when she caught me out the shower, she would kiss me on the lips instead of the cheeks, she would look at my penis and she would say keep saying things like “I have a very handsome, Sexy stepson. All these were indications that she was hitting on me. I never told my dad because it never led to anything so i y wasn't worth me mentioning it. When I graduates high school and got a place on my own, they divorced a few years later after that. I was 21 years old by the time they divorced. One day, I ran into her on the subway train on my way back home from work and she said she wanted my number because she still wants to continue at least, cooking for me and i m still welcomed to come to her house. One night she called me and told me she cooked and wanted me to come over. I ate, after that we sat down and watched TV in her living room. But then she did something I never seen her do before which scared the crap out of me. She scooted over and sat very close to me with her legs crossed in my direction. As soon as I turned to look at her, she was already staring dead smack in my face. It was crazy. Anyways, we looked at each other eye to eye and before I knew it, I was having sex with her while I was holding her thighs standing up doggy style in her bedroom. She was holding my head like I was a baby being held while I kept stroking her deep in and out. The best part was she kept saying “give it to mama” “yes”. It felt so good. After that, I didn't feel guilty at all. She wasn't no longer with my dad. We still, to this day, have sex from time to time. She hasn't been with anybody since my father. I think she thinks me in her will eventually get into a relationship due to the sex but just scared of what my dad may think of it.
I think I got my step-mom pregnant. Is this possible?
Ok so my step-mom lookin good and she young as hell first of all. She always flirtin with me an we fooled around a lil bit when my dad outta town but I aint really hit it yet. We was in the hot tub a few weeks ago an she was grindin on me.... u get da picture but no sex. I didn't get it in there, just rubbing. Now she tell me she pregnant and my dad got his nuts snipped when I was born! Could grindin in da hot tub make her pregnant, even if I didn't nut and I didn't stick it in?
Do you love your Dad?Do you love … or like … or can tolerate/accept your Stepmom?Are they thrilled about the new baby?If you can say yes to all those, then be so very happy for them. A beautiful little baby that came from love for you to love, to expand your family, to share life with is a wonderful thing.Unless …You’re insecure.You hate your Stepmom.You hate your Dad.Your Mom isn’t as happy as your Dad and you cannot accept that.Others are trash talking your Dad and Stepmom.My stepdaughter choose to HATE her new little half-brothers.She makes life pretty difficult around family activities, but she’s an adult. She doesn’t have to come. My stepson is fine with them, not exactly close, but friendly and like each other. They look forward to seeing one another and it’s a great loving and bonded family.Choose the side of acceptance and be a part of the big family and everyone looking forward to time together.Choose the side of non-acceptance and be that thorn in the side that makes things unpleasant or difficult and people won’t look forward to seeing you as much.There is NOTHING to be insecure about. Dad loves you. Stepmom loves, or, at least, likes you as an extension of your Dad. You may feel misplaced from time to time when they are doting over that slobbering, crying, sleeping, pooping, peeing bundle of energy sucker because they are new and an extension of their love. But it doesn’t mean they don’t love you with every fiber of their body, too. But don’t push it by slobbering, pooping and peeing in public. Just not the same. But you can sleep a lot and the occasional cry is fine … that’s expected.Enjoy the baby! It’s great training ground for the day when you have your own … or to decide not to have your own … or babysitting … or getting a puppy.