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My Ya Page Just Suddenly Changed From The Old Green Look To The New Purple Look Again

Best Joke Challenge...will you get 10 points?

So here's the deal...you have to use the sentence I provide below in a joke that you make up. The person who has the most creative/funny joke will get the 10 points for best answer...!

The sentence is:



"A lion, a witch and a wardrobe walk into a bar."



Make me laugh!

Why does my computer screen turn green? How can I fix it?

If it’s hardware, several possibilities spring to mind:loose wire in the VGA cableloose/bent pin in the VGA connectorweak red or blue emitter gun (applicable to Trinitron tubes and the like)loss of the sync signal (on the green-gun wire)I’d start diagnosis by wiggling the cable at various points.

A user has read messages I sent but there is still 2 grey ticks. Why?

Cause either of you two have turned off the receipt list .You can cross check your settings if there is the problem.Go to settingsThere go to account settings , in account settings go to privacy.In privacy, see if that read receipt is checked or not. If it's not, check it and if it is then ask your friend to turn on his / her receipt list and everything is normal.Thank you

What are some slang terms used among police officers?

The most derogatory terms for the bad guys and citizens who are just pains in the rectum:A.H. = Adam Henry (A-dam H-enry) If you don’t get it…..sometimes you will hear it as “Jack Hole”…..now what starts with an “A” that ends with HOLE ?RICHARD CRANIUM= What starts with a “D” and is a nickname for Richard ? What is the non-medical layman’s term for the Cranium ? Do these clues HEAD you in the right direction ?

When did you realize that you're old?

I used to own a bar, and one of the patrons was a young lady, probably around 23 or 24. I was about 40 at the time. We were hanging out, playing pool, during a slow spell. We were talking about life. She was working on some sort of advanced degree at UCSC. I asked her if she lived close to campus. She told me about the room she was renting in a nearby house. She said it was a “dope house”. I didn’t say anything for a moment, then she looked at me and said, “’dope’ means it’s cool.” Now, I know what “dope” means. But I also know that a “dope house” can mean two things. It was more the way she assumed that I was out of touch. And I supposed I was, a bit, but it was the way she assumed it that made me realize I was getting older.Also around the time I was 40, I went to a wedding. I’m used to hanging out with the younger, party crowd and getting wild. But, this time, everyone was very polite and deferential to me. I realized that I was the “adult” sitting at the “kids” table, possibly spoiling their fun, so I found another group to sit with. I was in law school at that time, as an older student. I did not feel like a peer, but rather an outsider, in subtle ways. Nothing overt, just unexpected politeness. That’s another time that I realized I was in a completely different class of people, due to my age.I started seeing photographs of myself, taken by friends, on Facebook, and did not immediately recognize myself. In some of them, I looked fine. In others, I looked haggard and wrinkled and tired.I don’t mind. That’s what happens. I even like to joke about my age, if for no other reason than to let people know that I am not defensive about it. I want people to know it’s ok to joke about it with me, rather than treat me like an outcast who will get cranky just because someone mentions age.

How do I respond when someone gives me a compliment?

Humble:"I'm glad you feel that way.""Thanks! Very nice to hear it.""That's nice of you to say.""I'm not worthy of such praise, but thanks anyway.""Thanks a lot, I appreciate that."Witty/humorous (not recommended if you're normally not a witty person):"That's true, but did you also know I can hold my breath for ten minutes?""Yeah, I know, I'm too great for my own good.""Thanks, I love you too.""Oh yes, but enough about me... let's talk about me instead!"Rude (never recommended):"Just stop sucking up, will ya?""Are you asking me out on a date, or something?""Uhmm, nope, I still don't care about you.""I'm just doing my job, I'm not performing miracles here!"

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