How do you stop your significant other from overreacting? She gets mad at little things I do that shouldn't bother her, but it does and makes her mad. She knows this herself. What should we do to help stop this?
If your SO severely overreacts over small things - first of all you should try avoid doing things that upset her, as much as possible. At very least it will help to defuse some pressure.After that - you should have a serious conversation with your spouse and nudge her to seek professional help. After all, you say she knows herself that her reaction is unbalanced, so she may be open to receive help. But it is not your place to modify her behavior. Unless you are certified mental health practitioner, you are likely to lack knowledge to correctly identify her problems. So please, seek help before your marriage falls apart or her behavior gets even worse.
Why do I get upset if someone disagrees with me?
Is this every time you state an opinion? Is this about people in general?If you want to be right, or people to agree with you, that's normal. If you want to control their perceptions it's not so normal. They have free will the same as you do.If you feel anxious about being criticised, please try to disentangle the opinion from the person. When someone disagrees with someone else they can still be friends, They do not tend to become instant enemies, or spend as much time analysing what happened. Society is generally based on getting along, despite different opinions.However, if you learned in an environment where only one person was allowed to be right, this could be the source of great unhappiness. That can be traumatic. If you were taught to conform to that it would have made life difficult.If your temperament causes you to get angry quickly, this could add fuel to the disagreement, especially if the other person enjoys seeing others get upset.Do you get revved up? We all find it difficult at times to take being told we’re wrong, but are we being told that?Would you like to be okay with others having a different opinion? Think about it this way:Right now somewhere, someone has had a difference of opinion, it may be in support of a point of view similar to your own. How does that feel? Are you bothered, or agitated?I think this is only part of the situation. If you want to release this stress and do something that makes you happier, I strongly advise you see a doctor. I am not one, but you have described a pattern of behaviour that causes you distress. Wouldn't it be good to get that under control? Please make an appointment in the next day, or two.Wishing you well.
Why do people get upset when an opinion gets expressed?
Reactions reflect a person’s beliefs, worldview, and experiences.While many say “others are entitled to their opinion” that does not mean the opinion is perceived as correct. When I say correct, I mean “morally right” and or “grounded in fact” which are the two standards typically used to judge the validity of an opinion.As a race, humans tend to judge. We tend to apply our beliefs to others with limited understanding and knowledge of another’s circumstance. So we can make a statement such as “I am tolerant of all beliefs,” while in the next breath say, “I am intolerant of those who actively hate.”I believe this tendency to judgment is a reflection of our lack of self-forgiveness. Maybe we feel ashamed or guilty over something in our past (this can apply to personal guilt/shame, such as stealing a cookie from the jar, as well as collective guilt/shame, such as the oppression of a ruling class over masses). Until we utilize empathy and apply compassion based on individual context, we cannot come to a right understanding and even then, there are limits to what we can know.While it may be upsetting for someone to express judgment, the best course is to utilize empathy and compassion for them. That person is doing the best they can. They feel they are right, and from their limited understanding, they may appear to be so (note: we all have limited understanding).The liberal use of patience, love, and humility innoculate one from frustration, anger, and judgment, no matter what someone’s opinion may be.
I need an opinion. Would you be upset if your boyfriend did this?
So, my boyfriends close female friend wrote a status asking if winky faces are sexual in text messages (kinda just as a funny status to see what people would say.) People were commenting putting winky faces on the end of them to make them look sexual as a laugh. Another one of my boyfriends close female friends commented making a random comment about pie, and my boyfriend commented back to her saying "I wouldn't mind a slice of your pie ;)'' and a couple of other sexual innuendoes aimed at her. I made a sarcastic comment on it aimed at him saying ''charming..'' and he inboxed me saying that he was just joking. I told him there is a line between joking and saying things that are disrespectful when you are IN A RELATIONSHIP with someone. He said he didn't mean anything by it and stuff like that, and that's how him and his group joke around. I get that it is JUST a joke, but it just seems like a very dodgy and disrepsectful thing to do when you are with someone. I used to make sexual innuendoes aimed at my guy friends at school when I was single, it was a joke and they KNEW that. I stopped when I started dating this guy because I thought that it's not the right place to say things like that, whether you mean it or not. He doesn't seem to understand where I am coming from at all. What do you think?
Is it overreacting to block someone on Facebook because they unfriended you?
I'd say yes, but then again I think the fact people nowadays take social networks so personally is childish and overreacting.I think it's overreacting to even be upset whenever someone unfriends you or blocks you online. Unfriending someone is stupid on its own, in my opinion, unless the person who's been unfriended was somehow harassing the other, but blocking someone just because they've unfriended you is completely childish because it just means you really got butthurt over it and are lowering your level by doing so.What I mean is, whoever unfriended you was already kinda childish, but if you block them because of that you just prove to be even worse. Just let it go and move on, it's just a social network, don't get upset over such a worthless thing. If they don't wanna be your "friends", they why should you want them to be? They don't deserve it at all, so don't go as low as they have and move on.
Should people judge me on my callous reactions to sad or tragic events? Must my philosophy match yours for you to accept me as a human being?
This is an interesting question. So, when something bad happens to other people, and you are unfeeling and callous about it, you are expecting that other people are going to not judge you? This isn’t about philosophy. It’s about being a human being. If you come across like an asshole, you should be prepared for people to see you as an asshole. Why should anyone give a damn about your feelings, when you so clearly don’t care what happens to other people? I’ve known a lot of people who did bad things, things that are fairly unforgivable. Now, being a callous prick is nothing compared to the things that I have done, or that these other people have done. But I find it funny when people who have hurt other people expect not to be judged for it, as if being judged were the worst thing in the world. If I hurt someone, let’s say I went up to some woman and slapped her across the face, shouldn’t the people who either saw it or heard about it be entitled to some sort of opinion on the matter?If people don’t judge you by your actions, including the things you say, then what should they judge you by?Are they supposed to have absolutely no opinion about you whatsoever? Is that what you’re expecting?Everyone judges everyone.The truth is, you have an opinion about every single person you meet. That opinion could be positive, negative, or largely neutral. If you say something which exposes the fact that you don’t give a damn about what happens to others, why shouldn’t the people you say this to have a right to feel something about that? Why should anyone care about what you feel if you don’t care about them?If you want to be accepted as a human being, act like one. We are pack animals by nature.And another thing: Why is it so important to you that you tell other people that you don’t care? Why do they need to know? Are you trying to be important by being different or something? I may not cry about every tragedy that happens. The truth is, I don’t deeply care about everything that happens to other people. My level of empathy isn’t such that I think about other people all the time. It’s just not who I am. I don’t think it’s who most people are. But I also can’t say that I don’t give a shit if a hundred people died on an airplane. It doesn’t honestly affect me that much, but I’m not going to say ‘who cares?’ Those people were important to somebody.
Do people have the right to feel angry if you disagree with them? Why are people offended or hurt by differences of opinion?
Having a right to feel something means there is some legal or authoritative permission involved. Feelings don’t fall in that category. When and how we express them does.Still, you do ask about a genuine issue. Most of us have experienced the challenge of dealing with an angry person who disagrees with us about something. In fact, most of us have been angry at another person because we disagree with them about something. It is very common and very normal.My perspective is that many of us misplace our anger. We get angry and need to vent. If we are not completely sure where the anger is coming from, we pick someone to vent on. Usually the person disagreeing with us. Not fair, but again, very common and normal.Instead, we should understand where the anger is coming from. For example, when I read the question and saw the use of “right”. I started to get angry that the word was used in regard to feelings. I quickly corrected myself from turning the anger toward the person asking the question. The anger does not belong there.There have been times in my life where I was told how to feel and not feel. Those were very challenging times and using the word “right” in regard to feelings reminded me of those challenges. THAT is where the anger belongs. Not with some unsuspecting person asking an innocent question.Not everyone has experience managing their anger like I just did. Most people have sincere difficulty managing their anger in this fashion. Therefore, the person asking a question may get an unexpected angry response.Perhaps people are less offended by disagreement and more reminded of previous issues. Perhaps people feel the anger and direct it outward because they need to release it. Perhaps we should all learn a little more about managing our anger appropriately. Unfortunately, it is challenging. Not everyone is up for the task. Please forgive them when you can.Hope this helps and take best of care!
Why do people get hurt or offended by opinions if people are entitled to their opinions? Like, if someone says you're outfit is ugly, that's their opinion, why become upset? Isn't that weakness?
Radical honesty here…Judgment is written all over your question. I'd guess you are emotionally bothered by someone's reaction to your stated opinion on something. If so, it's cool, totally normal.But you don't need my acceptance, do you? You have the awareness that we choose our reactions, that we don't have to feel something because someone has stated an opinion which is contrary to our own. So then choose not to be bothered.“People are entitled to their opinions” is such a funny phrase. It's one of those socially conditioning phrases that seems to state a rule that no one questions. But let's question it for a second.Yes, we all have them pinging around in our minds. Judgments, opinions, perceptions, and views about everything, everyone and who we are. But it's stating those thoughts that get us in trouble. Then, we use that phrase to alleviate our guilt, “I am entitled to my opinion.” Sure, but are others entitled to hear it?I agree with you. We each get to choose how the words or actions of another affect us. Some people are in default mode and just react. Others consider the source and let it slide off their back. Then there is “us”. We choose a very specific route. “Is there value in that opinion/statement/action for me, even if I don't like it?” Further; “If I don't like it, could it be that it touched something inside of me that I need to explore? Might I learn about my own insecurities if I explore what the words of another stir up inside of me emotionally?”Ya, it gets pretty loud in those minds of ours. But the growth is worth it.