Roommates leave air conditioner on all day long, even when they leave for work, due to their two cats. Our bill was over $310 this month. They’re both extremely passive aggressive towards me and only speak through text. What should I do?
Well, if you guys are sharing the same house and you own the house, you can ask them to leave since it is your property after the rental date is due. If you could speak to them, they speaking to them and do some math about how much should they pay extra for the electricity bill due to the ACs.If you do not own the house, you could speak to the landlord and ask the him/her for help.If the landlord is one of your roommates, I suggest that either you communicate to them what you are thinking, or you can leave and find another house.Good luck mate.
Why am I so annoyed that my roommate's girlfriend is over all the time?
It’s basically the same thing as having another roommate. One you didn’t vote for, one you had no input on accepting, and one that is not sharing in any of the bills or responsibilities of your living arrangement.You need to approach your other roommates (or if you’re the only other roommate, you do it yourself) and talk to the boyfriend. You explain the logic. She is using common space, water, electricity, etc. Tell the girlfriend, “If you want to be over so often, you need to chip in for rent and bills and cooking and cleaning.” (or however the division of labour is set up in your domicile).Next time you find yourself in a shared accommodation situation, you need to hash out the ‘boyfriend/girlfriend’ rule beforehand so everyone is clear on the matter. Sometimes I’ve lived with people and we had a strict rule that no significant other was allowed to spend the night or any long amount of time (within reason, of course, and always discussed beforehand with the other members of the household).I’ve also been in situations where I was the significant other that was over all the time and totally understood the animosity felt by the other people in the house. I always offered to pay for my share of the bills, but sometimes that doesn’t solve it — in a house with four people, a fifth just is one too many. Or if it’s four guys, and then all the sudden a fifth, a female, moves in with one of the guys, it gets super uncomfortable quickly. The other three males feel as though they have to alter their lifestyle, dialogue, cleaning habits, etc. A lot of change that they certainly did not sign up for when the decision was made to live together.Solution? There really isn’t one apart from talking to the offending roommate and explaining how you feel. Next time you live with a group of people, make your boundaries and expectations well understood before this situation arises. Consider it a life lesson.
Is it understandable to want my roommates to pay more utilities if they use more electricity than I do?
In theory, absolutely! If you could calculate exactly how many kilowatt hours of electricity was used by each roommate, it would be the generally accepted way to do things.Unfortunately, it would be very difficult to determine how much more energy they use than you do. I’m sure you have energy-using habits that your roommates don’t (for example, using an electric toothbrush). Even though your habits use less energy than theirs, this subtraction is the point where most people would admit that the discussion with your roommates is too complex for you to win.Another complication is that much of your energy bill is made up of overhead costs such as powering the refrigerator. Maybe you use the refrigerator daily, and they use it one day per week each. Should you pay 6/7 + 1/3*1/7 = 19/21 of the cost of running the fridge? What is the cost of running the fridge? If you want, you could figure it out by following these directions:1) Look at the back of your refrigerator to find the Wattage2) Multiply the answer from step 1 by 24*[# of days in the past month] to get the watt-hours per month used by your refrigerator3) Divide by 1000 to get the Kilowatt hours per month (you are charged for electricity by the Kilowatt hour)4) Multiply the answer from step 3 by the rate you are charged for electricity (if you can’t find your rate, call your electricity provider and ask for it)This is just one example of how difficult it would be to figure out how much each of you should be paying for electricity. Trust me, it would get way more complicated.I think you will find that the amount you and your roommates owe would be close enough that the conversation you had, which could get heated and ruin good relationships, would NOT be worth it.Hope this helps!Let me know if you have any more questions.
I am gay and thinking of joining either the Navy reserve or National Guard?
I'm currently serving on Active Duty (Navy), and I actually work in a pretty exclusive warfare community within it, so I'm speaking from experience. There are actually quite a few gays I know in my community, and this is a community that is actually placed under quite a bit of scrutiny. I know of many homosexuals that serve in the Navy; if you do decide to join, you will notice that certain command climates will look the other way, other climates may not; most of the time, you will run into people who just look the other way. My last command, we had someone make a suicidal gesture (a friend of mine actually) who was upset that her girlfriend broke up with her. My command actually swept it under the rug, because she was an excellent Sailor. If you join, you will survive; just as long as you keep it discreet, as in, do not admit you are gay, do not open that aspect with people you do not absolutely trust. This is more for the lines of the "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" policy, which you've stated you know about. The Army, I have seen, is less tolerant of homosexuality. I've known more gays in the Navy than the Army, I must say. Now, you will run into people who like to bash homosexuals, etc., but as you know, you will run into that everywhere. Just keep your head held high, don't bite the bait - especially in the military. Once someone finds your weakness, they will keep on beating it until they break you. Finally, the gays I knew in the Navy rolled together, they have their little tight-knit groups. So, to sum up my answer - I personally believe the Navy is more friendly, due to my experiences and witnessing it first hand. If you excel in your duties, and be discreet about it, most people will look the other way, after all, many people view that as your business. My $0.02.
What's a good curfew for my 18 year-old son who is living at home while going to college and working a part-time job? His friends had their curfews taken away once they started college, and my son thinks it’s unfair.
Um, are you serious? Your son should not have a curfew.He's 18. That means he's a grown-up. He can go out and do whatever he wants to. You can't stop him anymore. It's time that you start realizing you now have a different role to play in your son's life. You are no longer his "parents" who are going to "raise him" and "take care of him."You are not going to be able to control him any longer. And, if you try to, you will only decrease the amount of influence that you currently have over him. (And my guess is that your level of influence you have over your son is quite small... seeing as how you're even thinking about setting rules on your grown-up son's life.)Your role now with your son is simply to support him. To love him unconditionally. That's what is important. It's important that your son feels he has a safe place in the world to return to. He needs a rock at this turbulent point in his life. You need to be that rock. (Not a judge or jail keeper.)Just someone to support your son. Don't give him advice. Sorry, but he doesn't want to hear it right now. ONLY IF ONE ASKS, should you ever give him advice.The truth—that most people don't understanding—is that you have to EARN THE RIGHT to give advice. He should be asking you for advice because he respects you and loves you so much.And how is THAT going to happen?It's going to happen when you give him enough freedom and room to grow. It's going to happen when you support him and tell him that you love him no matter what. It's NOT going to happen if you try to tell him to come home at 4am.He's 18. It's his life.Let him go. Only by letting him go, will he ever come closer.— Eric EarleDirector of Youth Developmentwww.mentorportland.com