Should Christian parents shelter their children?
No. Parents, Christian or otherwise, shouldn't be overly protective. I know parents who freak out if their child comes in contact with dirt while playing, or if they hear somebody say a mild curse word on television. They also shelter them from reality, including blatantly lying to them about the presence of war, violence, and wrongdoing in the world. How is that going to help the child's development? As a child, I was exposed to just about everything under the sun, and because of that, I learned to cope with reality fairly early on. So when the really bad events hit (losing my parents, ending up homeless as a result of being orphaned, and other painful occurrences), I was more capable of dealing with it. Nobody protected me from pain, damage, or unpleasantness, and in some way, it helped me be a tougher and more self-reliant human being.
How are Indian parents able to control their adult children's lives to the extent that they choose whom to marry and how they live their lives in their own homes?
I don’t understand it, either.My parents got married to each other- someone they did not know at all, purely because their parents told them to.What. The. Heck.My dad tried to plan out my entire life for me. I’m not kidding, I was supposed to major in Computer Science, get married by 24, make around 200k in my late 30s.I never liked Computer Science, and I tried to go along out of a desperate desire to please him… but eventually I realized a few things.My father would never be happy. He was the type of person to compare you to the person above you and ask why you weren’t doing that. There will always be someone better than you. You can’t compare yourself to others- compare yourself to yourself. See what you need to do to be content, and achieve it.I have a responsibility to myself to seek out the best possible life for me. Not for my father. Me.Coding sucks (No offense to anyone who enjoys it. You do you).I finally told my dad I was doing things my way. He was livid, and I was told not to come home from college. I honestly expected to be disowned, but my mom got really sad and persuaded my dad to change his mind. He was still upset when I graduated in Business Economics, and let’s just say my graduation wasn’t that much of a celebration.I’m currently in law school, of my own choosing, and my dad has given me his reluctant approval- although I didn’t hope for it this time. I’m doing things for my own benefit, not for his approval.The power my father had was that he was my dad… and all I ever wanted was for him to be proud of me. Just once.I’ve finally done my own thing, but I’m pretty sure I’m going to have trust issues for the rest of my life.Joy.(I was able to nip the whole “arranged marriage” thing in the bud when I was 13. Plus we lived in Iowa, so not there’s not that many people willing to set up an arranged marriage with… lol)
What happens when a well-intentioned parent shelters their child from failure and consequences?
Excessive sheltering will result in this phenomenon called the Durian Generation, which is like a national plague in first-world Singapore; the land of helicopter parents. So sheltered are the kids, like the soft flesh of the durian encased in spiky, protective, tough shells (the parents), that they refuse to do anything for themselves and are incapable of independence because mom and dad will always be there to protect and provide. And given most families’ dual-income earning power, mom and dad CAN and WILL protect and provide.Durian Generation: How not to raise a bratJust as bad is the Strawberry Generation, who are soft, easily bruised, and cannot take the hard knocks of life. I belong to one of those, and I’m learning to stand up to confrontation and conflict now that I’m a mom.7 really sad differences between the Strawberry Generation & the Durian GenerationMy kids are still really young, 6 and 2, and one due in June. But I won’t be sheltering them from Life, and if they encounter bullies, failures, or consequences of their own bad decisions, I’ll tell them to get up and fight, or fight back.No durian or strawberry children in this house.
Should parents of teen vandals be held responsible for their child's damage?
A teen is not a legal adult and has very few rights without a parent there. Anything the child does that is wrong is typically reflected on to the parents for that reason. If they get sick the parent is responsible, the parent is responsible for feeding, clothing, and sheltering the teen. The parents have control over the child if the teen was taught right from wrong and punished for doing the wrong. If they are unable to control the teen it is their responsibility to ensure they regain control until he/she begins making good life choices even if includes bring in the cops to help enforce situations. Plus who else is going to take responsibility the child can not pay for the damage and would be unwilling to clean it them selves. I am kind of a big support of the belief that we are to lax on kids these days (27 yrs old)
Why do parents shelter their kids so much?
Because sometime kids make the wrong choices....maybe that's why
Why are kids that are raised by rich parents, sheltered?
I think it's because whether the parents started out rich or started out poor, they have a misguided understanding of life and dealing with the money. If the parents used to be poor then they think that sending their kids to a private school, getting a maid for their kids, controlling who their kids hang out with are all part of 'the things I didn't have when I was growing up and therefore must be better' category. Like seeing Santa round Christmas :) If the parents are rich and were always rich then poor or less wealthy people are a mystery to them. They just don't know if public schools are okay. They might be afraid that other kids will treat their own children differently based on wealth. The parents grew up shelter themselves and so do not fully know what they can expose their kids to so just to be safe, they also shelter their kids. EDIT: I think people are misunderstand your question and thinking you mean that wealthy kids are sheltered as in they don't have a lot of 'life experience'. Not why do affluent parents choose to do this to their kids.
To parents: Why do you shelter your kids?
I think that parents try to because they want them to maintain their innocence for as long as possible. I have two boys 10 and 12 and my theory was if they are old enough to ask about it they are old enough to get a straight answer. My husband does not agree fully with my methods but I believe in being open and honest with children especially when it comes to sex. I believe that an informed child will make better choices when it comes to having sex or any type of sexual activity. I think that some parents, like my husband are unsure of how to talk to their children about sex. And that comes from the way they were raised and then it passes on to their children and so on until someone breaks the cycle.