What are some coping strategies for dealing with disappointment?
Expectation management is so important. Do you expect great things of yourself?Are your personal standards very high?If yes to both, the next question is are you doing enough to support yourself achieve these results?It may be you expect and demand great things of yourself but aren't creating the infrastructure to help you get there - training, development, time to study, work-out, whatever methods will help you toward you goal(s).Establish where you might be "letting yourself down" by either expecting too much or not supporting yourself enough.If your goal is too great, reign it in. Find a more achievable solution given your current skills/resources.If you don't have enough skills/resources, assess how you will get them.Don't just have 1 ultimate goal. Have many little ones along the way.From a distance a pyramid looks like it's perfect triangle with straight sides angling toward the pointed pinnacle at the top.But when you get up close you'll see that there are many layers, like steps and every level in the pyramid is a layer of rectangular blocks, one atop the other in an ascending formation creating the greatest method of achieving a stable structure.This isn't my greatest analogy but hopefully it gets close to making the point.Set yourself up for steady, sustainable success. Be realistic about how your skills and resources relate to your goal.And no matter what, if it's important to you, keep working the problem. Chip away, bit by bit and I hope you'll eventually get where you want to be.Good luck and all the best
How can disappointments have a good side?
In psychology, you go through your fears and disappointments so you can learn about yourself. The next time it comes up, you have a better idea of what will happen, what you want, against what everyone else wants. You can predict the outcome much easier. It is part of becoming mature and experienced and getting more of what you want from life. At first you may call it the sour grapes, or blame others, but through disappointments you can compare experiences and realize how you are different from other people, and learn about other people. Knowing more about yourself and others lets you move out of those situations, move forward in life. At some point you will be able to help someone who is going through what you once went through. Passing the knowledge.
I'm afraid of disappointing people and letting people down?
All my life, I've been extremely terrified of disappointing people if I make a wrong decision. I'm an only child, and frankly, I think that it's because of my parents that this has developed. No matter what I decided to do when I was younger, I always felt as if I disappointed them, and as if nothing was ever good enough for them, as well. Now, at 16, just with making simple decisions such as whether or not to spend time with family vs. spend time with friends frustrates me to accelerating levels. My thought process with making everyday decisions such as this always make me regret with whatever I decide to do. I think that with each side of a decision I make, no matter what, I will disappoint either side, and they will be displeased with my choices. That's basically why I don't like making decisions by myself, thinking that someone won't like what I choose or that I'll let someone down. So, when put under the spotlight in making a choice, I pass it on for someone else to make the decision; not me. What can I do to help myself?
Is it better to be pessimistic so you are never disappointed?
I believe that pessimism is the state of constant dissappointment; you have seen others and yourself fail so often, you begin to believe it’s the default setting with things, people and life.Funny enough when you observe pessimistic people, they always seem to manage to make their biases come true, be it by unconsciously working towards their failure or not invisting the required energy to realise things because “it won’t work out anyway”.I’m by no means an optimist by nature, but having gone through a very pessimistic phase was soulcrushing to me, so I decided that there’s no point.There may not be a point in optimism either, but at least it doesn’t suck the life out of you. Not that I’m a true optimist, either.Disappointments are important, from them you learn. At least if you’re willing to look into the mirror and see what you’ve could have done better.Anyway, I believe that given the right circumstances almost anything is possible.Flying to the moon? To Mars?Yeah, dream on, only crazy people would believe in that.The world is full of things that only happened because people believed they could make it true, despite what the pessimists said.Show me what dreams the pessimists have realised, and we can talk, but don’t introduce me to them, pessimists easily piss me off.I don’t care for what they believe, they can go and tell their shrink.I want my mind to be as light and joyful as any possible which is hard enough in this world, I don’t need a pessimist to tell me how bad it really is: I have eyes, I can see.I know earth is a pretty fucked-up place.No need to remind me.
Will someone please explain Prop 8?
Proposition 8 was a proposed amendment to the California constitution that sought to remove the fundamental right of same-sex couples to marry under the same rules, responsibilities, and social recognition as heterosexual marriage. To the extreme disappointment of LGBT people and their supporters, proposition 8 passed by a 52%-48% margin. As for part two of your question, proposition 8 does not directly affect any of the other states. However, it has been noted that court decisions made in California have tendency to influence other courts throughout the nation. What I find remarkably interesting is the fact that most states refuse to recognize same-sex marriages performed outside their state but not opposite-sex marriages. Under the U.S. Constititution states are free to grant or deny recognition of any marriage performed outside their state. I wonder what the outcry would be if half the states decided to stop recognizing marriages from any couple that was not performed in-state. Heterosexual couples around the country would be up in arms and out in the streets protesting. Welcome to gay life!
Why am I getting disappointed about the little things?
Sometimes we start enjoying disappointment even if this appears ridiculous because we make a habit and don’t pursue the feeling of happiness even if get an opportunity.Such people are too emotional and in emotional side of the matter they like to hear or discuss more of depressing things. Try to analyze if there is a pinch of substance in this.You have to reduce the emotional trait and build higher reasoning power which you have but under estimate.Try to reason why you get disappointed or why not search smaller things that can motivate and so good is being veiled under darkness of mind.The mind has to be shaken and how would you do that.Can you forget all this and focus in playing sports which is missing. In games you win and also loose but enjoy in each situation.Why you enjoy?Because of entertainment of company and also physical exhaustion which tunes the mind for thinking that refreshes when is able to find good in smaller things.Think it over?Over thinking is no fun when you are making castles of your own choice and then breaking to get depress because both making and breaking are illusion. Hence your disappointment is on the matter that does not exist or in other terms it is not real.You need to change the mental conditioning and that will happen when you harness physical energy in constructive manner, then enjoy the food which is right for the body and mind would be ready to listen your reasoning to be emotional where it is required and bypass such erratic thought.You also need to have healthy conversation with parents or other family matter to get motivated and if you can make an habit of reading good books it could help to know much more the way great people have been thinking even in midst of hardships and have been taking as challenge not only to overcome but create an positive output for a larger cause. That is a big thinking but has to be started by some means and eventually it is self motivation in life that would be available free and pure.You can do it.
What was the most disappointing thing about having kids?
That article is click bait. It attempts to compare two things that cannot be compared. People without children have no idea what it’s like to be parents, so they have no basis for comparison when reporting their happiness. And it certainly seems that quite a lot of people just shouldn’t be parents, since they underestimate the amount of time, energy, and sacrifice required.My daughter is 27 years old, and I raised her myself. My ex-husband decided, when my daughter was 7 months old, that fatherhood wasn’t for him, even though we had planned the pregnancy. He made three minimal visits between that time and her 4th birthday, then disappeared. I didn’t bother to go after him for child support after that, feeling that his yearly visits would be much more damaging than his complete absence.There has never been a single moment when I have been disappointed, either with my daughter or with being a parent. It’s just as difficult, rewarding, frustrating, amazing, challenging, heartbreaking, and awesome as I expected. There have been incredible highs and life-changing lows. Mostly, there have been average, regular days.I always treated her like a human being, explaining my decisions to her as appropriate to her age. When she was a child, I made sure I was never too busy to play with her. I did my best to remember how I felt and how the world looked to me at whatever age she was, so I didn’t fall into the trap of being overprotective and controlling. When she was a teen, I made sure she was never afraid to talk to me. I passed on to her as much knowledge as possible, because knowledge is power. Now that she’s an adult, I’m infinitely proud of her on the daily.Raising a child is the single most difficult thing you will ever do. It’s a 24/7 job with no pay, no training, no benefit package, and no retirement. Yet it is also the single most rewarding thing you’ll ever do…if you commit to it.I guess I can’t actually answer your question, because having a child and being a parent has never been disappointing to me.