Stressed. Corporal punishment/paddling used at my kid's school.?
For all those that think corporal punishment is illegal in schools…it’s still legal in MANY states--probably close to half of them. It’s legal in my state, BUT the county that I live in has a policy against it (the school board gets to determine if they’ll allow it or not, and if they do, they don’t have to require parental consent for it). My kids have the same problem with not enough time in between classes. They only get 3 minutes (God help them if they need to go the bathroom). Personally, I’d rather them give the students more time between classes and extend the school day by 15-20 minutes, but they don’t listen to me :) At any rate, I got a paddling my senior year in high school (back when they paddled kids on a regular basis). Speaking merely for myself…I didn’t find it particular humiliating, because no one was present other than me, the teacher, and another teacher (their policy was another teacher had to be present). Nor did I did I find it extremely painful. BUT that’s just me, and it could have been because (1) it was the ‘norm’ back then (2) maybe that teacher just didn’t paddle very hard. With all that said--I DON’T think corporal punishment in school should be DISallowed. The schools aren’t like they used to be 20 years ago. The kids are out of control. When my oldest was in public middle school, one of the students called a teacher a “f*cking b*tch” during the middle of class. His punishment--a few days suspension, which wasn’t a punishment at all, it was a ‘vacation’. BUT a situation of 3 tardies is COMPLETELY different.
Why does my child tell me to spank him when I'm trying to punish him? It just makes me angrier so why does he think its a good idea?
When I was a child I used to do this. My theory is that your child doesn’t care anymore that what he’s doing is wrong. He just sees the spanking as another hurdle until the next thing he does wrong. All he has to do is jump or it, or tell you to spank him and he’s off. I think maybe you should up your punishments or something because once children figure out that, “oh I just get a spanking and then I’m fine.” They’ll keep doing things wrong.
Wondering how to punish my child when shes older?
ok so i have a two year old daughter,and my mother brought up the topic of spanking. she wants her to be brought up by spanking, and my husband agrees. i on the other hand am not so sure. what do you think of spanking? also at what age do you use what to spank and how many/ how long etc. please understand and reply Thank you x
Why do people get so triggered by the idea of a parent spanking their child?
Because the word “spanking” covers a wide range of actions, and people interpret it in terms of their experiences. Your experience of “spanking” may be so different from another person's, that it's almost ridiculous to use the same word for both.For some, getting “spanked” as child is a shorthand for one or more of: being beaten to the point of injury; getting whooped often, maybe every day; being spanked capriciously or randomly, or for no reason at all, by a parent who takes out their frustrations on their kids; being left in a state of constant fear, not knowing from day to day if your parent will be gentle or violent that day.All of these are forms of abuse. If you grew up with any of this, wouldn't you find even the mention of spanking stressful and even “triggering”?Let me add that none of the above comes from my personal experience. My parents were loving and generous, and acted for our good. They did spank me, but only rarely, and only when the right conditions were met: repeated bad behavior, multiple warnings, other things tried first. To be honest, I'm the type who likes to question authority, and a bunch of those times I was just pushing them hard to see what I could get away with! What I discovered was that I'd get my butt whooped. The mere knowledge of it was enough to keep me in line.I have no resentment at all about it, and I'm very close to my parents now. I have no personal problems with spanking, and I would consider spanking my own kids when I have them. But I also have empathy, and I have learned the stories of many of my friends, which has taught me that we all have different experiences.
When you were a kid did you ever get a spanking you REALLY didn't deserve?
Yes, very much so. I was spanked as an infant, before I could speak or understand speech, and had no idea what had happened to cause my father to deliberately hurt me so much. I remember many such instances from infancy throughout my childhood, and into young teenage. It’s probably the brutality and feelings of being wrongfully treated so badly that have made me remember periods of life that normally are not remembered. I wish that I could not remember those times.When I was older than a toddler, I was usually told that my father hurt more than I did, and that the “Bible” said not to “spare the rod and spoil the child.” He was a Hellfire and Brimstone Baptist Misogynist, and he often also used severe verbal abuse (I was naturally a “whore” and a “worthless” person as I was female) as well as physical abuse. Such “spankings” were carried out with a leather belt which he wore. He used the taking off of said belt as further torment. He demanded me to take off my clothes, and I would be whipped from the shoulders to the bottom of my feet.The man was such a bully and punishments so severe, the neighbors often called the police due to the screaming they heard. The police never did anything to stop the abuse, they in fact laughed. This was the 1960’s, and a man could beat his wife and children black and blue without challenge or fear of the law intervening. They were not permitted to break bones or kill us, however.But I did not expect to live to make it to 18. My sister was also beaten like this, and often worse than I was. But our brother was not subjected to these whippings. He was younger than my sister and me, and we were often beaten if he did wrong.Our experience was not typical, and I believe most parents did not spank their children with the intent to inflict such debilitating harm on their children. But many did so because they truly believed the “Bible” said that not spanking was a dereliction of duty. That book has caused more suffering than any other in the history of mankind.
Did anyone else have extra chores as punishment?
When I was naughty as a kid (or as a teenager) my parents would make me do their chores. It was either that or a spanking anyway, guess which one I picked. Anyway, it taught me discipline and was ultimately good for me.
There is a lot of controversy over the idea of physically punishing a child (e.g. spanking). As a parent what is your opinion on this topic, and what have you found to be the most effective form of correction?
There is a lot of controversy over the idea of physically punishing a child (e.g. spanking). As a parent what is your opinion on this topic, and what have you found to be the most effective form of correction?I come from the time period when kids got spanked at home and also paddled in school.It was so common when I was a kid that we would laugh about it.A kid would show up on the playground with big tiger stripes on his legs from getting whipped by a belt and we would all laugh at the guy. “Ha ha! You got your ass beat!”A kid would get paddled at school and then receive another when he got home.I’m the farthest you can be from a soy-fed touchy-feely Starbucks type but I HATE corporal punishment.First of all, getting hit can be amazingly painful. Try this experiment: have an adult take a leather belt and hit you a good hardy blow on your backside or legs with it. See if you think a child should be subjected to that as you jump around the room in agony.Secondly, getting hit doesn’t cause kids to “respect their elders”, it makes them utterly hate their elders. When I was a kid, we regarded grown-ups as merely older kids who were allowed to hit us.There was a history teacher who was quick with the paddle, and a common subject of conversation among us boys was that when we were old enough and strong enough beat him up, we would all take a turn beating him. There was no respect, we absolutely loathed the guy.Just thinking about this makes me want to find the guy and light him up like Christmas tree.There are a lot of punishments you can come up with that will make a kid obey without resorting to physical pain.Do you have a boy?Take a chair and face it towards a wall and make the kid sit in it, looking at the wall for 1/2 hour. The boredom is like Chinese water torture to a boy.How about denying your kids their TV? That’s like taking heroin away from an addict.How about making the kid rake leaves of wash dishes or scrub the floor?There is a punishment for your kids that will win their obedience without you resorting to causing physical pain.