How do Indians feel when they go back to live in India after living in US for 5+ years?
Here is a word of advice for all NRI's who are looking to move back to India."If you are looking to move to India because you are bored of your job in the US or feel there are more opportunities here, then DON'T move back"I moved to Gurgaon 6 months back and its been a mix of pleasure and pain :)Its dusty, dirty, noisy, crowded, humid with crappy roads, even more crappier condos etc etc..you get the drift.If you want to live in a condo like you lived in the US, it will cost you atleast a lakh per month :)Most service providers and handymen will not be on time and will even be very blase about it.Shopping for good quality veggies and fruits is a pain.The fine line between a weekday and the weekend usually blurs.Maids and cooks are supposed to be a convenience but they are usually a pain in the neck because you gotta supervise them and keep an eye on them.Options for weekend breaks are very limited.If Google Maps says you will reach a place in 6 hours, it will take anywhere between 10-16hours.Sports facilities are pretty limited and the ones that are available are pretty expensive.The gyms here are crappy and are usually in the basement of some house nearby. There are good ones but usually very far from where you live and the commute is just not worth it.5kms of travel is like 25 miles of travel here.If you have been out of India for more than 3+ years, and have not been here in the last 3 years, you will get THE STICKER SHOCK of your life when you get back.Stuff has become frightfully expensive...some examples include petrol, wine, fine dining, movie tickets etc etc.Basically, everything is available here but at a price. You can almost duplicate your US lifestyle but the cost will be directly similar to what it was in the US. The only difference will be a drop in your salary (And this is if you were living in NYC or SFO. If you are living in Dallas or somewhere in the midwest in a $800/2BR apartment, the fun will be even more)Well, that's the bad part.Now to the good parts even though they may seem a bit vague :)Its home and I feel more 'alive' here.The food somehow tastes better.There is a notional sense of freedom (like zipping on the expressway at midnight without worrying about a cop car on your back)
My husband constantly accuses me of cheating and im ready to walk out..what do i do?
I cant even say I care for my husband anymore. we have been together 10 yrs and every day that passes gets worse. He has cheated on me but I am the one that gets accused of cheating ALL THE TIME! He is smothering me! He wants me to prove my love or say "i love you" all the time to him but i just cant stand him anymore. Why say "i love you" when he just accused me of cheating a few min before? I stay at home and he says I have so much free time and he doesnt. For god sake I watched some tv last night and drank a few beers and all hell broke lose. He acts like I was partying with a group of ppl and after I got "hammered" I screwed my imaginary boyfriend. Its like hes in some other world. I cant keep my cool anymore. Its nonstop fighting and I know its affecting my kids. Lol..as I am writing this he came into the room and is bitching that I am doing something secretive! I told him exactly what I was doing and he now he is telling me that he just went to an old girlfriend of his. Theres another issue. I accepted a friends request from an old boyfriend of mine on facebook. This kid was a friend in my high school days. His girlfriend had cheated on him with my boyfriend at the time and we got together for a quick min on a rebound. So now Im a slut who talks to ex flames....in return my jackass husband says he is going to start seeing old girlfriends of his. I dont know what to do. I take marriage very serious but he is slowly killing me! He checks my clothes to see what I wear and when I change, he counts drinks in the fridge to see if too many are gone assuming pll come over and some will be missing, I cant go anywhere..ever! I play poker online and when I do he goes online and stalks me. It has got to the point of him bashing me on the chats..like the ppl playing are all my close friends. I dont even know them for god sake! But if I block him he says I dont care about him. What would cause someone to act like this? He needs help or Im gonna walk out. Any advice on this before I lose my mind!/
I almost got caught...how long should I wait before going back there again?
They can't arrest you unless they catch you in the act. I will admit, I stole a few things when I was a kid but never got caught. My sister did however, and she paid for it for a long time. Doing community service, paying fines, etc. It's not worth it. I wouldn't avoid the mall all together, but I would wait at least a week or two before going back. Don't worry about it too much. Just don't do it again. It's too risky.
Should i just wait for my parents to die before i kill myself?
Yes you should wait. I mean, the only reason i'm still alive and kicking is because of my brothers. Honey, I know it probably seems like torture to have to hold on for so long, but thy would never be able to justify your death, no matter how hard you would try to explain it. Suicide is worst for the people left behind. 10 years is a long time, so how about starting out with giving yourself 6 months or maybe a year. Time doesn't heal all wounds, but it does give you some much needed air. We all have our reasons for not wanting to live, and i'm not gonna make you promise anyone to hold on, i KNOW how painful life can be. and if you feel like you can't live for yourself, live for someone you care about instead. All the best. (a fellow SI (suicidal individual))
If an alcoholic starts drinking again after a period of sobriety, will he end up where he was when he hit bottom?
If they had been a member of AA they *probably* believe that drinking after a period of sobriety *inevitably* leads to a catastrophic fall toward his / her rock bottom.Because they believe it is inevitable it is pretty likely to happen, that is the way the brain works.In psychology, this is known as the ‘abstinence violation effect’ (AVE) - the *consequences* of violating a commitment to abstinence are substantially determined by the beliefs the individual held about what is likely to happen in the event of such violation.In the 12 Step approach, beliefs around volition are ‘built up’ and reinforced as part of the wall of strength against ever drinking again. Arguably this is a point of strength for the program - the commitment to not drinking ever again is sky high. On the other hand, some would argue that it is a point of strength until a lapse at which point it becomes a liability.This is not the only approach to AVE. Some programmes (such as SMART Recovery and CBT based programmes) argue that whilst drinking again would be a bad idea and highly risky - if you *do* lapse, there is no *inevitability* to this becoming a full blown relapse. ie. the distinction is made between a lapse and relapse - so there is a window of opportunity to get back on the wagon after a lapse.In practice, many, many people with a history of severe alcohol dependency *do* manage to prevent a short lapse becoming a fall to ‘rock bottom’.I have a problem with the ‘inevitability’ belief because it simply does not match what is known about how people recover.It is *normal* to go through a series of lapses and relapses before eventually achieving sustained abstinence - recovery depends on learning from mistakes and slips so that over time they become less frequent. In almost all forms of addiction it is *not* normal to go from addictive behavior to sustained long term abstinence in one go.