Foster Parents/Children..mind sharing your stories?
Hello Megan, I grew up in the foster care system. I told you that so you know where I am coming from and the perspective I am coming from. Alot of people are going to say that foster kids are "dangerous," or that they will burn your house down or that they will abuse your animals and children. THAT IS THE MINORITY of children in care. And most of those children eventually wind up in treatment centers and not in foster homes. However, the average foster child has experienced abuse, neglect, poverty, drug exposure, or all of them. They have had a difficult life and thus you as a foster parent need to remember that these kids are a product of their previous life experiences and the lack of modeling by their bio-parents. So for example, I NEVER ate at a kitchen table until I went into foster care. I had very little idea how to "act" at a table and my manners were hideous. That did not mean I needed to be punished, it meant I needed to be taught/modeled the correct behaviors. Behavioral problems that you will most likely see in foster kids include: Bedwetting Hoarding/hiding food Nightmares Lying Stealing Bathing/going to the bathroom with the door open Possibly going to the bathroom NOT in the toilet Emotional problems you will see include: Fear/anxiety Depression/Sadness Self-harm Self-hate Anger Mood swings All of these things can be worked through with good and creative methods of teaching "correct" behaviors, having strong boundaries, time, and being aware of the reason why these children are doing what they are doing. For example: You might "punish" a non-foster child by taking away the TV privileges for a week. For a foster kid, who cares? They are used to having things taken away or they don't have much anyway. You need to think of another punishment technique.... I suggest that you read ALOT about foster children and the effect of abuse/neglect on children before you decide to foster. It is horrible for children to be placed in a home and then removed because the foster parents decide they can not handle it. If you have specific questions, email me.
I want your husband during labor stories......?
My husband ran back and forth a million times to get me ice. They promised me a popsicle, but that went out the window because I almost puked when they put my epidural in. He stayed by me, held my hand during my contractions, watched the monitor with me after the epidural kicked in, comforted me (well, tried to, anyway) when I cried inconsolably after finding out I was going to need a c-section, sat by my side holding my hand during the surgery (until they kicked him out after my epidural quit working while I was on the operating table...they knocked me out completely), and most importantly... he stepped up to the plate and single-handedly took care of our daughter's every need during those three hours before I woke up. He continued to attend to her during the night...needless to say, I was pretty out of it. She has been his little princess since the first moment they met, and in retrospect, I wouldn't change a thing. He's the best dad ever. He did, however, ask the nurse when we first arrived at the hospital at 6am on the morning of February 20th, "She's really in labor this time, right?" I guess his question was justified since we'd had several false alarms, but sheesh! It was pretty obvious it was the real thing! I *can't* stop laughing at your sock-knitting story. That's hilarious. Good luck.
Boyfriend to undergo major surgery, really scared?
My boyfriend has struggled with back pain all his life and recently it's gotten so bad, he's had trouble walking. He finally scheduled an appointment with the doctor and found out it was a spinal defect (something about the lower part of his spine being misshapen) and he'll have to undergo major surgery to get it fixed. The doctor said that if it isn't dealt with, he'll definitely end up paralyzed and confined to a wheelchair for the rest of his life. However, the surgery itself can result in him being paralyzed and there is also the risk of the surgery going wrong with the result of death. He's terrified and so am I. He started crying earlier because he's so afraid of the surgery, but we both know that's the only option. I've tried to be comforting and strong but I'm just as scared as he is. I don't know how to deal with this and I don't know how to help him with dealing with this. I'm so scared he'll have the surgery only to end up in a wheelchair or even dead. I don't know what I'd do without him, I've known him all my life, he's my only true friend and the only person I'd ever want to be with. I don't know what to do, has anybody ever been in a similar situation and if so is there any advice?