Tell me what you think about my short story?
Okay, so you need a better opening paragraph, or at least a better opening sentence. I read the first paragraph and ditched it. No offence. You need something more attention grabing.
Short story- Tell me what you think? (:?
If you want to write a story written by someone else without giving them credit that is plagiarism. And since this is for a competition you would probably be disqualified anyway for using a part of someone elses work. Close your eyes, go to sleep and then write about whatever you dream if you're that hard up.
My short story? Tell me what you think so far(: ?
This has pleasant competencies, however as a reader I consider it's repeating that there's not anything and he's strolling totally too often. I appreciate that he is attempting to flee his emotions of forthcoming doom. I get pissed off studying approximately it for goodbye. I might as a rule cross this guide up within the retailer. Perhaps you may also attempt to take out the repitition and discover extra to complex on, as in ..."The not ever finishing feeling of dread, pity, and loneliness adopted him during the wayward international he was once in. There was once not anything he would do however run. These emotions might continuously take place right into a clean, empty variety chasing him down the blackened streets. Nobody to aid him, he himself was once the one salvation to quit the enveloping insanity in his brain, hoping the whole lot will simply quit in location." ... I might suppose your individual is ate up with whatever. I am overdue for paintings.... however I wish you get the notion.
Tell me what you think of my short story?
Slightly creepy when I had finished it but it drew burning pictures across my mind and i could picture it all. Only one thing, you used the word "silly" twice,the first time wasn't good placement for that but the second place was fine. Just remember, "silly" isn't a great word to over use :D
Read this short story and tell me what you think, only looking for honest answers regardless of good or bad?
Out of 10 I would probably give it a 6. You definitely need to work on your grammar and spelling, but other that that you've done well. You have good detail with your words and you make the readers get a feel of the models emotions. Keep it up.
Read this short story and tell me what you think, only looking for honest answers regardless of good or bad?
i'm expecting you want C.C. so here it goes: idk what age you are so i can't grade you. If you still wished to be grade post your age please. Good intro but for para 1,2,3 they look choppy. And the climax is unclear b/c you barely built up the tension. I feel the protagonist realization of the worst part is bit weak. It's not strong enough. And the conclusion was bit short i thought you could have explored it bit more. What i suggest: Add foreshadowing in the first paragraph or so to build up the climax. if you want to tell the model's history it needs to have strong relevance or/and help the plot. or it looks out of place and awkward (esp if your story is this short). During the final moment more imagery is needed to convey what's going on better. Repetition like this is pointless: "I hurried back to my apartment... when i got into the apartment" i would rather write something like' "as i rushed back to my apartment i could almost feel people' gaze. New para: or sentence joining them. or looks choppy Upon my return, there i saw it. On the floor of my home. A thick white letter. It was a lawsuit filed against me for the $3000 dress." i know its fiction but it sounds bit unrealistic, if you want something to deviate from the truth, twist it alot (for eg. devil wears prada, though this does happen, but in most cases no) or let it somewhat be based on reality.
Can you tell me a short-story?
Once there was Truth who went around naked as the day he was born. No one wanted anything to do with him. When people would see naked Truth, they would turn around and run away from him. If for any reason, people had to be in the same room with Truth, they would not even acknowledge his presence. He was never welcomed by anyone. Ever. Poor Truth. He was very lonely and sad.One day, Truth was out walking and came upon Story. Story was clothed in a splendid robe and headdress of many lovely colors. Story was beautiful to behold.Seeing Truth, Story asked, "Why do you always look so sad?" "Things are bad for me," said Truth bitterly. "I am old, so very old and no wants to have anything to do with me. They refuse to even look my way.""I am very old too," said Story. "In fact, the older I get the better people like me. People do not run from you because you are old Truth. They run from you because you are naked. Here is a secret, everyone likes things prettied up a bit. I will lend you some of my colorful clothes. When you put them on, you will find that the people who pushed you away will welcome you into their homes. In fact, they shall willingly seek your company."Truth listened thoughtfully to Story's words and decided to follow his advice. Ever since, from that time to this, Truth has covered his nakedness in Story's many colored robes. Truth and Story have become the best of friends, walking hand in hand. Everyone loves the happy pair who are welcomed everywhere they go.
Tell me what you think of my fantasy short story?
all of the best fantasy video games tell a tale, yet their very own tale, it was once very much pointed out that no very final fantasy had some element to do with the best except only recently because it has finally end up greater favourite over the owrld and there grew to become right into a want for it, the 1st FF to receive the sequel therapeutic grew to become into as quickly as FFX while FFX-2 have been given here out, which accompanied on from FFX approximately 2 years afterwards, now there are greater sequels, FFVII has been given 4 greater little comments, the 1st grew to become right into a cellular interest in Japan, then advant childrens grew to become into relaesed, the 0.33 is dirge of cerberus which has only been released in the united kingdom, the forth is a PSP game observed as center undertaking i think of to be released early 2007, the kind new very final delusion series, FFXIII on the PS3 might have on the least 2 sequels although no longer sure on their names, there grew to become into communicate around the information superhighway of a FFVIII action picture to be released yet no longer particular if this is although to head forward or regardless of if this is been scrapped! wish this facilitates you out
Please tell me what you think of this short story...?
Your introduction starts with a lot of misconceptions. I don't know how you got all that bad rap about Mindanao--- from Filipino realtives or friends, or from the book "In The Presence of My Enemies", or from the American news. While I admit that the Philippines is in very bad shape, you have no right to write your story the way you did. Mindanao is a culturally rich place, composed of many regions. Besides the Abu Sayaf, NPA, and so-called CRIMINALS, it also has immigrant Chinese, Koreans, Filipinos, indigenous tribes, and scenic spots. You muddled everything in your story. The Abu Sayaf are now defunct, after having been dissolved by the government. Most of their activity was located in southern Mindanao, in Basilan and the surrounding islands. Minadanao is actually very large, hence, you have to state a locality for your setting. You also did not mention that the Abu Sayaf were Muslim separatists who wanted to make Mindanao a segregated nation from the Philippines, thus kidnapping "wealthy" foreigners to finance their operations. Filipinos and Mindanaoans who weren't part of their plan were also angry and sad about what they did. You shouldn't write stories without researching the topic. Criminals and criminal gangs are rampant in the entire archipelago, not just in Mindanao. You should have written "Chris's", not "Chris' "; "biased" not "bias" and your main character also speaks like a girl at times. Your story is poorly planned and lacks consideration.
Please read my short story and tell me what you think?
How old are you? I'm not expecting you to be very old, no offense. I admit I didn't read all of it, although the beginning did sound interesting. I'm just one of those people who can't stand to read something with bad grammar, even so much as an accidental full stop somewhere. I just can't do it. It sounds like a great story, but maybe think of taking extra English classes or getting someone to help you with grammar. It's not the best. Sorry if I offended you, just stating my opinion. I said it sounds really good, but at least use speech marks. You know, sixty-six and ninety-nine? Did you learn that? Good luck with your writing :)