What's the best parenting advice for fathers raising young girls?
Teach them to love struggle and unremitting hard work.Teach them to treat everybody the same way, irrespective or rank and station. Teach them to cultivate inquisitiveness and the desire to understand 'why'.Teach them to find happiness in skills, not possessions.Teach them to cultivate meaningful relationships.Above all, teach them equanimity in success and failure.But keep in mind, despite your best intentions and efforts, they are their own individuals and you have limited, but critical, influence. This from Khalil Gibran from his Prophet.On ChildrenYour children are not your children.They are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself.They come through you but not from you,And though they are with you yet they belong not to you.You may give them your love but not your thoughts, For they have their own thoughts.You may house their bodies but not their souls,For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow, which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.You may strive to be like them, but seek not to make them like you.For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.You are the bows from which your childrenas living arrows are sent forth.The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite, and He bends you with His might that His arrows may go swift and far.Let your bending in the archer's hand be for gladness;For even as He loves the arrow that flies, so He loves also the bow that is stable.
Should I try to raise my child without a gender?
Others may disagree, but I think that a little moderation is in order. We certainly shouldn't be telling our babies who are born with a penis that they can't play with dolls. We certainty shouldn't be telling our babies who are born with vaginas that raising children is their job, and not the job of the baby born with a penis. We certainly shouldn't be telling our babies who are born with a vagina that when they grow up they have to marry a grown up baby born with a penis. Or, visa versa. We also should not dedicate our babies' entire childhood to pretending that our babies don't have a gender. It's fine to let our children know what boys and girls are. The danger is when parents make a child's gender mean something that it does not mean for their child. When I came out to my sons as trans, I walked them through all the diversities they already knew in their own lives. We talked about how their mom is Japanese-American and I am Caucasian. How this friend of theirs was tall and that friend was short. How most men love women and other men love men. All that led to me talking about how most baby girls are born with baby girl bodies and a few baby girls are born with baby boy bodies. I talked about how these girls have to find a way to be the girls and women they are despite being given a body that doesn't match. I imagine that when my children have babies, they will teach my grandchildren about all the diversities my ex and I taught them about. And, they will teach my grandkids about how Grandma Diane was born in a baby girl's body, but Grandma Katie was born in a baby boy's body. I know that my sons will speak with pride about how their dad found her way out of that boy body so she could be the grandma that her grandchildren will love. We don't need to put gender into a closet. We just need to make sure that we teach our children that gender doesn't have to mean something that it doesn't mean for them.
Tips on raising a newborn baby boy? ?
Congrats! circumcision - easy to handle, heals within 3 days or so (my son was totally healed after the second day) and isn't really uncomfortable. He will likely fuss at diaper changes for 24-48 hours because his penis may stick to the diaper (you will be advised to apply vaseline at each change for 24 hours). Normal diaper changes for the first 6 months or so, always always keep the front of the diaper folded over him to cover him or you will absolutely get peed on :D You will likely get peed on many times no matter what you do but this is a handy piece of advice haha. Other than that, you will fall into it. I know exactly what you mean about the whole "raised plenty of girls" thing. My son is the ONLY boy in my family and when I found out I was pregnant with a boy I was like "oh my God...what do I do for birthday parties and what toys do boys play with and does this mean I wont have a little princess to dress up ?" But boys are so much fun! And his first birthday was Elmo themed and they love cars, and he plays with his cousins doll strollers and barbie cars, it all works out :)
Why do girls lose interest in math and science?
Because it goes from happy things like puppies and flowers to real science as the grades get higher. When the subject starts to require logical and critical thought - most girls just give up and that's that. I've met so many girls who just say that they aren't good at math and don't even try. If you are good at thinking, you can get good at math. Nobody is born knowing how to do complex math. You have to learn how to do it, and this is where girls fail. Self improvement is simply not taught to our daughters anymore. They're told that they are beautiful and perfect no matter what. Which is false and hurting them in the long run. Boys are raised from an early age that bettering oneself is the way of the world and how you succeed at anything you choose. This should be taught to all children by their parents, not just boys. And of course, letting the media raise your daughter is the worst possible thing you can do. With all the high class wh0ring going on nowadays and it being glamorized, media is like a brain poison to little girls.
Should we bring back "chastity belts" for the young girls out there?
Scares me too, reading all those questions. . Well I am the proud mother of a very beautiful - confident - successful 23 year old daughter. by the age 3.5 she knew all the body parts. By 5, we had our first "mother / daughter" talk ( age appropriate) . It is easy if you start while they are young, and they are willing to keep the lines of communications open. As she was going into high school I asked her to make me a promise. . . . . That even though I wanted her to wait until she was older (much - much older) that she would let me tell me when she was thinking about / or going to have sex. . . . I promised her in return that I would not judge - preach - plead . . . . . We both kept our promises. She waited until she was 19. She had been going with her still now boyfriend by that time for over 6 months and "they didn't have anything planned" but she was feeling comfortable, maybe even" in love" and . . . . . I believe any good mother would be disturbed and concerned after reading the questions we have. But trust me, teaching our children about sex, their bodies etc. . . does not imply permission to go wild. . . . . It simply gives them the knowledge and tools to make better and right choices. There are good girl's out there. You are on the right track to raising one of them yourself.