I can't be myself around my parents?
My parents always *expect* me to be happy and have a smile on my face no matter what. I'm so stressed out in my life right now because of school, my little brother (9) is a liar and he steals (he once stole my dads phone and wallet) and my parents are constantly fighting because my dad has trust issues so now there is tension around the house because I recently had to step in to one of their fights. Once my dad told me that if I'm not happy then he doesn't want to see me at all until I am. I often cry when I'm home alone and have to pretend like nothing happened when my brother gets here and when they arrive home. I'm really stressed out about exams and today, my mom took me to wash my hair at the hair dressers and she left me to go talk to some other guy outside. I got angry because she was taking long and I needed to get home and study (they pressure me about getting good grades). I phoned and asked where she was she said she was coming and knowing her, I figured she wasn't. I took her bags and my stuff and walked to her car which is opposite where she was with the guy. She approached me and I angrily said "I'm writing Math I need to get home" and she got mad that I was mad at her. She guilt tripped me on the way home and I had to apologize for getting angry. They dont allow me to express my emotions and it's not fair because they always express theirs!
Why can't I be myself around my parents now that I am an adult? I feel like I am withdrawing from them.
Have your parents been accepting of your life style and choices? I would think that feeling like you are never going to get it right in their eyes could make you not want to be around them.Were they good parents when you were being raised? Mean and nasty parents have a way of pushing their children away and it makes it hard to have conversations when they are in denial about it.Are your parents negative, whiny or demanding? Those are traits that get tiresome and one can only take so much of that behavior.My husband and I raised our 3 kids in a conservative home and I know there have been times when they have decided to do something we did not or do not do. I have always tried to be understanding of their choices. I know that the things I believe, they may not. They are pretty open with me and I try to remind myself to weigh my thoughts and opinions carefully. Honestly, I think we are closer because they have been real with me. Maybe you feel like you can’t be yourself but you could if you tried.I would like to think that it is more important with your parents to maintain a relationship with the real YOU than some fake person playing a role. Best wishes……
Should I be myself around my in-laws?
Your are a fellow bahu my dear and my heart goes out to you. Just like you, i too went into my new "family" after marriage expecting to be welcomed with open arms but all i got was a lot of frowning, being looked down upon, and constant reminders that i should not behave in the way i would with my own parents as they are my saas sasur and not my maa bapu. So to answer your question, no, you should not be yourself with your inlaws, at least in the beginning of your marriage. You should be very formal and speak as little as possible and do exactly as your sasuma or sasurji says. Well not exactly but you get the picture.The point is to understand and learn the culture and workings of the family first and then start changing things. The inlaws can be frustrating and unreasonable and just plain stupid at times to not understand a point and then bully you for not listening to them. For eg, my mil always liked to keep the gas lighter in the empty space between two burners on the gas stove. I on ther other had kept it somewhere nearby the gas as the metal of the lighter would get hot from the heat of both the burners and the utensils on them and sometimes i would burn my hand by touching the hot utensil on either side while picking up the lighter. My mil simply didnot understand that and would give me an earful everytime i didnt put the lighter on the stove. I thought this was absurd and stupid and how could she not get such a simple thing. So one day when my husband was in the kitchen to take something and in a hurry to give him food i burnt my hand a little while picking up the lighter in front of him. He asked me if i was dumb to keep it there and i told him thats how mil liked it. My mil got an earful from my husband and that shut her up after that. If you start changing things right from the beginning, there are bound to be clashes. There is so much i could tell you but this not the place as it could turn into a book worth of data. But please do message me if you need any answers to particular problems or ask me even on my blog The Great Indian Bahu which i have made specially to help our girls like us who have to share each others knowledge to deal with the inlaws.
How do I act around my boyfriend's parents?
My boyfriend and I have been dating for 16 months, and I am currently spending the week with him and his family at his house. However, I'm very shy, and I feel like I'm not interracting enough with his mother or his brothers. Our coversations usually end with me saying nothing more than "yes" or "no" because I'm very reserved and I try not to say more than I need to. Does anyone have any advice on how I can overcome my shyness and make it through the week and win his family over?
Why do I find it so hard to be myself around any and all of my direct family members?
MAYBE BECAUSE YOU ARE OR THINK DIFFERENT THAN THEM,THAT HAPPENS VERY OFTEN IN ALL THE WORLD,ORRRR MAYBE YOU ARE SHY OR INTROVERTED? WHICH IS NOTHING WRONG,OTHER THINGS ARE YOUR EDUCATION AT HOME IF YOUR PARENTS ARE VERY STRICT,YOU HAVE TO PRETEND TO BE SOMEONE ELSE,WHICH IT SUCKS,BUT ALWAYS TRY TO BE YOURSELF,AND IF PEOPLE DOESNT LIKE IT,DONT MIND OTHERS LOVE YOURSELF FIRST,THEN WORRY ABOUT WHAT PEOPLE SAY BECAUSE NOT EVERYONE WILL LIKE YOU ANYWAY,LIVE FREE AND DONT MIND OTHERS,IS WHAT I DO,WHAT I WANT,AND IM THE WAY I WANT TO BE,I LIKE MYSELF LIKE THAT,ITS THE MOST IMPORTANT FIRST YOU!!!!
Why cant i be myself around my family?
You feel like you have to be on your best behavior when you are around your family... you fear their outlook on you... in a way and feel that you will be judged... like if your too loud or if your actions aren't proper in the manner they expect... when your are with your friends its always the exact opposite... we all let loose and have fun and sometimes act a little abnormal because our true selves stays so bottle up from being around our family... we get out and act like omg crazy/good. Don't worry to much about it.. this is what we have to do sometimes to survive this world... being who other people want us to be... you are really in control... look at it this way... we are tricking them in getting what we want... when your at church (if you go)you may be one way and when at school act another way and then at work another way and then with family...Waahhhaaaa!!!! This is more common than you think:-))) I hope this helped:-)))
How can I be myself around family?
Believe that you have the right to be who you are and not who they want you to be. We all feel the need for acceptance at times. Especially from family. But just remember….you are a unique individual. You are the sum of YOUR experiences. And this is your right. You don't have to measure up to anyone's idea of who you should be but your own. If your happy with it that's all that matters
I don't act myself in school and when around friends?
when im around other people i panic and start saying things i don't want too. when i was younger i did whatever i felt like doing and i became a weird kid but i grew out of it and now people like me. the only problem is that i don't feel comfortable having conversations with others and its stressing me out! i act loud and try to be funny when i hate doing that (plus im horrible at being funny :( ). i don't like silences while your with someone else. so when they don't talk i feel the need to start talking to fill the silence and end up saying stupid things, i cant help it i just get so nervous and i just want people to stop judging me. i am more of a person who likes to listen to others and and not have to start conversations, because in my opinion i stink at it. i have a hard time relating to others because i am very uncoordinated so i cant play any sports and i just don't do what other people do. Here are some things about me: 1. i love horseback riding but i have been thrown off 3 times in the past few months and still haven't gotten hurt so my trainer doesn't trust me enough to show 2. i hate being inside so i usually just hang outside 3. i love listening to just about any kind of music 4. i have a slight lisp (i have a little trouble saying my s') 5. i can watch scary movies all day with friends 6. i like to watch sports if im actually at the game and not on the tv 7. i actually like reading but i don't tell people i do 8. i love to sing alone but i suck at it :( 9. i am more comfortable with people who are younger than me 10. i am thinking about doing cross country next year ( i have ran before) 11. i love to go places, i dont care where 12. i like to push myself 13. i love roller coasters but im terrified of heights so i find the tallest one and push myself to go on it 14. i live by a city and i want to move more to a place like wyoming :) i love it there so much! 15. i love to be with my family and listen to them arguing about stupid things 16. i like being by myself and think, is that stupid? please give me some tips on how to more easily talk to people. thanks!
I can't be myself around anyone?
This is kind of strange and makes me feel like crap everyday. So when I'm with my friends I act happy and funny and just generally a fun person to be around, but that's not how I feel or want to act. When I'm with new people or around strangers I am introverted, shy and anxious. I hate talking to new people for fear of being judged or embarrassing myself. Around my family I am, once again, quiet and barely say or do anything. The thing is the way I act around strangers and my family is the real me. I am not a very happy person, I am quiet and I honestly hate smiling, but I can't seem to act that way around my friends. I have tried to stopped acting happy when I just don't feel like it, but they always say that I am in a bad mood and sometimes even get angry at me, so I just feel like I can't break out of this facade. I really do just want to quit this acting thing and be the real me, but I can't seem to do that and I have no idea what to do. I know this is probably very confusing and it is very confusing to me too.