Should I apologize even though it wasn't my fault?
sounds complicated.. i've been in these kinds of situations before and they never turn out well. probably because i am a sarcastic *sshole, but only when i need to be. i would tell your parents that you didn't appreciate the way your family or gathering people and this girl were treating you, so you basically wanted to not be around the negative energy anymore. you asked the girl to leave you alone but she was persistent and possibly borderline harassing. Although you probably will have to apologize, because people will always think they are right, there's no getting past that. so just rip off the band aid, and do it. and remember, you only have to see these people like.. twice a year. so just bear with it. bring a friend with you to gatherings and just hang out with them the entire time. i have cousins that do this at our family gatherings for christmas and easter and such.
Should I apologize to my mother?
Explain your feelings -- and she will probably apologize to you! It's a very sad situation you (and she) are in. Your mom is completely overwhelmed. She suddenly has 5 extra people to take care of and there isn't enough of her to go around. The stress of it all caused her to over react to the news of your suspension. Perhaps under different circumstances, your mom would have taken the time to listen to your side of the story. You, on the other hand had no other choice but to adapt your entire life around her new family and you felt left out. Whether you realize it or not, you are crying out for attention, good or bad. Your feelings are valid. She probably is so overwhelmed by her own problems that she doesn't even notice yours. You deserve her love and respect, but if she doesn't know what you're feeling, she can't do anything about it. A bad single event was escalated into a series of bad events when you felt the need to defend yourself against both the girls and your mom. This is going to be hard, but you need to talk to your mom. You need to tell her how deeply she hurt you and what you need to feel better. For starters, you could read the last two lines of the fourth paragraph above. Isn't it worth taking a chance to try? I'm not suggesting that you apologize and take the blame for everything that happened, but talk to her! You'll both feel better. Also, when you go back to school, walk away from the girls and ignore them. What they say DOES NOT MATTER! Furthermore, they are not worth your time.
Should you say sorry even if the fault is not yours, but you value the relationship?
One of the most important things I have learned from being a human being on planet earth is that sometimes the best of all possible choices is to admit you are wrong even though you know you are right. The price you will pay for the truth is too high. Admitting you are wrong does not make the truth false. The truth is the truth whether you say it is or not. Who cares what some idiot believes. Why should you suffer because someone else is stupid? Some battles are worth fighting. Some are not. Choose carefully the battles you fight and consider the outcome.some people would say that you should always fight for what is true. I say those people have lived in a protective bubble and have not experienced how horrible a human can be to his fellow man.Which brings me to my most favorite episode of Star Trek. A Romulan had taken Captain Picard into custody. He asked him: “How many lights do you see?” Captain Picard said, “4.” To which theRomulan said, “There are 5. Are you sure you do not see 5?” Captain Picard said, “No, I see 4.” So then Captain Picard was tortured, and deprived of food and water. He was again asked, “How many lights do you see?” This continued to go on for several days. Each time Captain Picard was asked the question, Captain Picard’s answer came slower and less confident. Then Captain Picard was rescued. Captain Picard admitted that there at the end he could see 5 lights.
How can you apologize without actually saying the words "I'm sorry" or being apologetic?
There are some great answers in this thread about how best to take responsibility when you ARE sorry, but one way to read the question is to say 'sorry' without saying it because you actually aren't sorry at all. That often happened to me as an HR VP for a big consumer company. Consumers and staff would complain bitterly to us all the time for things that weren't our fault at all. There are lots of ways to sound empathetic without being sorry. Sometimes I'd try something like:"Wow, I can understand that was really frustrating. Anyone could be upset. Is there something we can do to help?" Even if it is your mistake, something like "That shouldn't have happened. What a mistake. Let's see if we can find a way to fix it," could work in many cases. People most of all want to be heard and hear that they've been heard and something is going to be done about it soon. If you encounter someone who say's "I want an apology" then you can say, "I'm going to look into that right away, but let's see what we can do toward making things better right now." If they hammer away demanding an apology when you've investigated or listened and decided it isn't your fault, then I say the weaselly thing - "I'm really sorry this has affected you the way it has. It's really too bad it's made you feel so upset. I really understand you feel awful." (Never say, 'I know how you feel - you don't and they'll be angry about THAT.) But, believe it, I am sorry for people like this, just not sorry for anything I did. With practice, you can use these phrases with genuine meaning and not put your foot in the wrong spot by saying you know how they feel or apologizing for something you didn't do.
My dad caught me and my boyfriend!!!!! What to do???? PLEASE, PLEASE!?
My boyfriend and I (he is 17, I am 14) were @ my house while my dad went out shopping, he said she would be about 4 hrs. We were just watching a movie, then we started making out, then before we knew it I was on top of him, both of us were in our underwear on the floor. I was humping him, we were both moaning, he got erect, and told me to do him harder. Just as he said that my dad walked in the front door and saw us, he came home earlier then he said he would. What should I do?? He has not talked to me scince that happened, and he would not even look at me all through dinner. I am REALLY afriad he is going to tell my mom, what should I do? What should I say to him? I promised her that he could trust me before he left, I had not planned on doing that with him, it was spur of the moment. We did not really have sex, we both had our underwear on. Is he mad at me? What should I tell him? What if he tells my mom? I am really nervous. What do I say? what about my boyfriend?
What does it say about a parent when they don't apologize to their child for a mistake they made with them?
This question was meant for me!I grew up with parents who rarely if EVER apologized for anything, even if proven wrong. The worst offender was, and still is, my mom. She just never felt the need to say she was sorry unless it was so obvious she was wrong or if busted in front of other people.My dad was no help either, defending her by saying,”When I was growing up, my mom didn’t apologize and we didn’t expect her to.” I just can’t agree with that.As kids get older and hit their adolescent years, I think it’s this type of thinking that leads to resentment and rebellion. Because by then, they have learned that parents are NOT right all the time and it makes you look human when you admit that you aren’t.It was rough growing up sometimes because when it came time for arguments and to prove my case, it didn’t matter. I wasn’t winning because they didn’t care about the facts, only about what they thought. I had to learn to just let it be and agree even if I knew I was right or else it got ugly.While I have amazing parents, this was their one major flaw that I really couldn’t stomach. They were loving and supportive in every other way, just never wrong!I won’t be doing the same with my daughter; I WILL be apologizing for my mistakes with her.
My boyfriends daughter is a constant trouble maker,she steals,lies,hits others etc...she is 11 is it to late?
Sounds like your boyfriend needs to be more involved in his daughters life, and less time in a relationship. I know this is not your fault, men always feel like they need to be with someone, or need someone to take care of them. He needs to spend as much one on one time w/her as possible. She is begging for his attention. If this was your boyfriend asking the question, I would tell him to keep her on a short leash (not literally). He should be her leader, telling her what she is to be doing, using that firm deep dad voice. He should set out rules of what he expects of her, write them down, make sure she understands them, then post them up on the wall where she can see them. When she breaks them he should send her to her room, come in with the rule list and make sure she understands which rule she broke. Next, he needs to have a consequence in place. These should be taking favorite possessions away (ipod, tv time), time on her bed, grounding, and for serious offences such as lying, steeling, cussing, hitting... a good old fashioned spanking. She is not near to old for a good spanking. Mind you I don't mean a few swats, I am talking about a spanking right out of the 50s pants/underwear down over the lap for a good long time. I have a 10 year old daughter who I would have no problem spanking if required. He should take back his daddy power now before (like you said) its to late. Once there in high school forget it, your not going to get much results spanking them at that age, nor would I even try. For you I would step back from the situation, and the relationship. Unless he takes charge of her now, she will only get worse. And even if you two end up getting married, I don't think you should play a role with punishing her. Dad needs to be doing that. Best of luck to you