How do I stop expecting so much from others?
Thnx for the A2A . There can be no single method to expect from others such that your expectations is fulfilled because the genesis of the word "expectations" stands on loose ground.I am no expert on social behavior and mentality but the best way is to stop expecting from others at all expecially setting high expectations from someone who may be dearest to you or not .Doesn't sound write ?This might be a bit long and may seem unrealistic but the best way is to stop expecting at all.This way you enjoy your success/your failure fully since you were 100% responsible for it and can take pride in that . On the other hand , when expectations are not met in some situations leave you distraught ,like a sting quivering for a long time and is unbearable. Why take the risk?The problem with "Expectation "The point in hand is that the word "expectation" itself is imaginery , ambiguous. When you expect something from someone , you hypothetically assume that your expectation will be met . when you are born, your parents feed you,best friends help you and sometimes you ask god for something and when it comes true you tend to take the word of expectation for granted and make certain set of ground rules :If i have certain expectation from my father/mother , they will be met. Same goes for parents who think expectations from children is nothing wrong as is case of our patriarchial society.Often with friends/girlfriend's , if we do some favour to them we expect them to return in need of hour .Thus we live in our own cloud of expectations which give us false hope that it will be met .You may have great parents,friends and uptill now all your expectations might have been fulfilled BUT WAIT A SECOND !!Think about it , be Pragmatic .The world is getting smaller, social circle too is losing its meaning, in this competitive world how long can you stay on single raft of "expectation" in the ocean with high waves, at some point of time you have to row and the raft may break too because everyone needs to survive the waves/problems of their own life.Hence i suggest you to not expect anything huge or extraordinary help from someone or something to act as a magician ,wave a wond and diffuse your problems.Remember expectation is kind of false hope which makes you dependent on someone and something which is not under your control ,no matter how close and imp the medium is of which you are expecting.
Why do most people expect something in return when they give?
It is so disheartening to read people's comments on here bytching how they did or gave something and when they didn't get some sort of payback, they became pissed! One lady on here says she won't even look at her neighbor because she helped her close her windows during a rainstorm and didn't receive whatever payback she expected! It took me years to allow people to treat me to something because it was drilled into my head that when people do something for you, they'll want something in return. I rejected that attitude as unhealthy and untrue, but now that I read some of your posts, I am on guard again. For shame! You should always give freely, with no thought of getting.
Can someone tell me what i should expect at basic training?
Well I join the army back in March and I'll be going to basic training on August 26th in Fort Jackson, SC...I looked up what the schedule looked like for the days/ 9 wks it seems ok and bad at the same time but can you tell me some of the thing i should do or expect before i go....and if you have been through basic training tell me how you liked or didn't like.....please...and thank you for your time
When I do something for someone, I expect something in return. What am I?
To be brutally honest... not someone I would ever want to call friend.I enjoy doing things for my romantic partners and friends. I never expect anything in return. I get enjoyment out of the doing.However, if someone does something for me and it is clear they EXPECT a return, then I get no enjoyment out of it and don't feel like I am helping someone because I am being generous, instead I feel like a schmuck for allowing myself to be manipulated, and I resent it, a lot. If it is a continuous, ongoing thing... I exit stage left.If you expect someone's generosity, it is no longer generosity. On the flip side of that, if you only do something to get something in return, it's not generosity.EDIT: After reading a lot of other answers on here, I felt a bit compelled to edit my answer.To be sure, there is a bit of human nature here. We all expect to be treated in kind. However, if you are taking score, which is kind of what I had in mind based upon the way the OP worded the question, then you are not doing someone a favor. You are giving them an obligation. With friends, lovers, family I do not believe that is the mindset you should ever have. However, if you notice that no matter how much kindness you put out there, certain people just never return it, then you have every right to expect better and simply cut them out of your life. I guess I would ask, what are your expectations? Are they specific? Maybe the person you did the favor for does not have the ability to "balance the books" as it were, but rather you would have their undying gratitude for doing for them something they simply would never have the ability to return in kind. If you are a strict tit-for-tat kind of person, then I probably wouldn't want to be around you. On the same token, if you were the kind of person who always takes but never gives, I probably wouldn't want to be around you either. There is a middle road here.Also, there is nothing wrong with random acts of human kindness. You can throw some good will out into the wind and just be satisfied that if even in a very small way, you just made the world a better place for some random person, instead of expecting a return in kind.
What is wrong with me if people tell me I am pretty, even though I disagree?
Thanks for your request.In my experience, the lie began hanging around a bunch of narcissists and other people who didn’t love themselves. They couldn’t impart something they didn’t have. Consequently when runway model types were trying to lock me down my first impulse was complete aversion.If men on the street think you’re beautiful, chances are 100 to 1 you are. They don’t have all that dysfunction that you have about your appearance. They are attempting to fulfill a biological function.
Someone once told me, "You don't give a gift if you expect a 'Thank You' in return." Are they correct?
I love giving gifts. I love taking the time to find the perfect gift for someone, or accidentally discovering a perfect gift for someone while I am looking for something else. I have a lot of young cousins and at Christmastime I’m the family member who always goes overboard with gifts.But like most people, I am fundamentally selfish.Having said that, I don’t do this because I expect thank you notes, or even oral thank-yous. What I do want is glee. Joy. I get off on the happiness of the recipient. I love watching my young cousin open a box with a new pair of Nikes in it on Christmas Day and squealing, “These are SO COOL!” then showing them to his mom and dad, grinning from ear to ear.If I am not physically present when the kids open their gifts, the whole process is much less fun for me.Of course when I am there they always run over and give me a big hug and thank me, and tell me how much they love the various things I picked out for them, and I do appreciate that, and when I am not there to accept personal thanks I do get thank-you notes, at least I think I do, but I do not look for them. I imagine the scene when the gifts were opened, and I’m glad.With my adult friends, I have to mail gifts more often than not, and so the main thing I want is some kind of confirmation that the gift was received. I usually get that electronically, which I prefer to a paper note anyway, and it invariably comes with thanks. But once again, I extract from those thanks a sense of the glee with which the gift was received, and I’m good.For me it is not really about the gratitude, if that makes sense. I’m a glee vampire.
What do you expect in a relationship?
Compassion - If I am having a bad day someone to tell me everything will be ok Dependable - If my car breaks down I know there is someone to rescue me Companion - Someone to share those special moments in life Lover - I have friends and they don't get that part of me Listener - Someone to hear what I am excited about Caregiver - Someone who wants to bring me soup when I am too sick to get it. . What else would a loving relationship need?