Am I Being Selfish...?
I have two kids, 12 and 17. My boyfriend has a place of his own but stays with me every night, clothes are there, vehicle is there, etc. He doesn't have any kids but has a nephew, 9, who he treats like his kid. This kid is spoiled rotten being the only child of his parents, only grandchild of my boyfriend's parents, etc. My boyfriend insists on including him in everything we do and it bothers me. My b/f is very indifferent to my kids and treats the nephew like he hung the moon when they are together. My kids notice this treatment. I know that my b/f is going to insist on me putting up a Christmas stocking for the nephew along with his, mine, and my kids stockings. I feel like I'm gearing up emotionally for a huge fight. Should I just put up the stocking and avoid the fight? It will hurt my kids feelings if I do, and my b/f's feelings if I don't. Just a note...this kid gets, has, does everything...my kids aren't as fortunate because I'm divorced and barely make ends meet. Help!!
Is it okay to be selfish after getting hurt?
After getting hurt, the first emotion that pops up is sadness. Nobody deserves to be sad the entire time, a while after the incident it happens is fine.Firstly, one needs to analyse why they were hurt, is it because (reason no.1) the person was a bad person, or (reason no.2) the situation was such that this was bound to happen. If you find out that the reason was the first one, then the best explanation would be “ I put my trust in someone who did not deserve it, which is why I am hurt”. Congratulations!! now you have learned how to identify people who are harmful to your mental peace.And if the reason no. 2 was correct, then you could be learn from this incident and be wise enough to act accordingly, so that you do not end up being hurt again.Now that you know why and how this happened, being selfish to the reason no.1 people is absolutely recommended, otherwise being selfish for a lifetime is not a good idea because the world needs more of love.
I feel that I am becoming more and more selfish day by day what should I do so that I again turn into the person that I was before?
》It's a good news that you want to be a good person.There are many possibilities why you would have turned to being selfish :-HurtSomeone whom you would have trusted & helped a lot might have had hurt you by "not helping you when you would have needed it badly".-Making comparisons.You might be at a new place & would have started making comparisons with others. So, you might as want to become wealthy. -Environment.People around you might be selfish & in turn you would also have adopted their habits. If you are surrounded bt people who say, "Kaun Kiske Liye Kya Karta Hai.." then you too might well start believing in it.》 ways to shake off selfishness. -Engage in constant activity.Fear & other terrorising things grip us when we stop taking actions.-Be Strong.Being good demands hard-work, persistence & honesty. So, be mentally tough. -Don't Expect Anything in return.Keeo doing the good work. Most people often fail to reciprocate due to their own weaknesses. So, don't feel bad if people fail to acknowledge your hard-work, care & affection towards them.
How to stop being selfish?
Well, it's come to my attention that I'm a selfish person because I'm upset about my parents not contributing anything to my wedding. I guess that leaves me with my next question - how do I stop being selfish? I truly am hurt, and I honestly can't understand why my feelings are wrong - so I must be pretty bad. Can anyone give me some advice on how to stop being selfish?
Is it selfish to feel hurt that no one ever asks how I am doing or feeling?
Welcome to the invisibility of motherhood... always in the background, always working your a** off to make sure others are taken care of, everyone always relying on you, but rarely acknowledging that you're even there. I remember going through something similar when I had my first. When you're pregnan,t people (even strangers) are so kind and helpful and considerate of how you're feeling. Then baby arrives and it's ALLL about the baby. Meanwhile you're feeling the worst you've ever felt in your life... flabby, leaky, frumpy, exhausted, overwhelmed, maybe even still in a ton of pain, but society expects you to pick up and carry on like you were never pregnant at all. It kinda sucks. One of the best resources I found was an early parenting group with other parents who had babies close to the same age as mine. We did talk baby stuff a lot, obviously, but were also able to discuss how WE were feeling and without judgment. If you can find something like that, or even a good mothers' group online, you might find it a good place to have some emotional support that you're currently missing.
Am I being "selfish" feeling hurt by a family member who broke their promise to me for a special birthday?
No. No you are not being selfish.To be honest it doesn't even matter that it was a special birthday, people shouldn't make promises that they can't be sure they can keep.It's all too easy to say “I promise…” but broken promises hurt, and repeated broken promises lead to loss of trust.It's just as easy to say “I'll try", or “I will do my best”. The person saying this can also say “I really want to do this for you/with you but I can't guarantee it right now and don't want you to be disappointed.”Now the person who made the promise to you may normally actually keep their promises and may have had an excellent reason for not keeping this one — but it is still ok to feel hurt, it would only be selfish if you were making a really big deal about it and the reason for breaking the promise was really exceptional and unforeseeable (in which case you would still be hurt but you would have to take it on the chin).
How can you be selfless without being selfish?
I think the way you are using selfish should be replaced with self-interest. Everyone has self-interest and makes every decision from self-interest because they make the decision based on what they want to do. Nobody makes decisions without self-interest. The way I interpret selfish is different than self-interest. When you do things for someone, you do it out of self-interest. You want them to be happy. However, if your self-interest includes helping others or caring for others, it is more selfless than selfish. If you act on love for someone, you are acting because you want to make them happy - you care. That care that you have though makes the act more selfless than selfish. If you do an act without regard for others and do something that will benefit yourself then it is selfish. The way I defined selfish and selfless make the words a little more abstract. Lets say you give a ride to one of your friends for two reasons: 1. You care for them and want to give them the ride since they have no other 2. they say they will give you a ride tomorrow (since you don't have one tomorrow) ^In that example, the act could be considered selfish and selfless. It could be selfish if you don't care much about the person and probably decided to not give the person the ride if he was not offering you one tomorrow. The act could be considered selfless if you did care about the person and would have decided to give the person the ride anyway even if he didn't offer you one. Whether the act is selfish or selfless (and how much of each) depends on the decision maker's reasons for the act. If you judge someone else's act, keep in mind that there is a good chance you don't know the person's real reasons for doing an act (though some can be pretty obvious). Even if the person expressed their reasons, they could be lying! Also, I think my interpretation is superior because it is how the word is in common usage and I think it gives the word better meaning.
Is Crying a Selfish thing to do?
No not at all.It very natural to cry.It's the way the body relieves itself from emotional and physical pain.Have you ever notice how better you feel after a good cry?Just like laughter, crying is a healing emotion.Don't fight either one.Just let it happen.