Should I Give Up On Something That Ive Allwise Wanted

What is something you love but had to give up?

I gave up a man I loved.My story was basically that of Anna Karenina but I made the opposite decision.I was married to a man from a wealthy family. Several years before meeting the man I fell in love with, I had tried to leave my husband after realizing that my feelings had changed and I no longer thought of him in a romantic way. As we had been married when I was only 17, this was hardly surprising. We simply grew into different people. However, my husband and I had a son together. When I tried to leave my husband, his wealthy family stepped in and made it very clear that they would use their considerable wealth to prevent me, a poor student, from ever having full custody of my child. Thus, I stayed.I didn’t plan on meeting the man I fell in love with. However, these things sometimes happen. We had a connection that I haven’t experienced again. I could feel electricity when we touched. Needless to say, we started a relationship. I wanted only one thing more than to never leave his side: my son.As our relationship grew, I had to make the difficult decision to set the man I loved free. I knew that, in my situation, I could never be enough for him and I was unwilling to risk the loss of my son. I knew he wouldn’t accept this so I forcefully broke things off with him, making an excuse that was far from the truth.I don’t regret it as my son has turned into a wonderful man but, I still wonder sometimes.

How does it feel to give up on something which you really wanted at a point in your life?

Can't really answer for everyone. So I'll give my example.I was in 3rd grade when I just spurted out that I want to be a doctor. You know, how kids say I want to be president or astronaut without actually thinking about it? I did the same. And this wish became a serious one after I passed 10th.If you are from India you know how kids start to prepare for such ambitions. In a populous country, with 6–7lakh students competing for mere 2k-3k seats, out of which only 50% is available for the general category students (yeah. The reservation system) it's an exhausting process of two years.I prepared. And I will accept that it was not good enough to come even near what I wanted. So I took a drop year. Studied well, gave the exam again. And guess what. I failed again. This time by few ranks. I didn't get a medical seat. But a dental one.I wasn't happy with it of course. Dental students have very less respect when compared to an MBBS one. They aren't even considered real doctors.So I “settled” for BDS. I started college. And I started looking at the silver lining. Dentistry has scope. It was my subject. It was in now way inferior to mbbs. It was just different.I started comparing my life to that of mbbs students around me. I'll say they had it tougher than me, but there are many things that I was capable of that they were not.Initial days of college I used to be jealous of the medical students. Now it's gone. I have grown to love my stream, to a point where I argue with those who think dentistry is a much inferior stream.This experience has taught me, that not everything we want can be achieved. But we should learn to respect what we get. Try to see the silver lining. Sometimes I really feel that I probably would not have excelled much as a medical student as much as I can as a dental one. And frankly speaking, I'm quiet happy with what I haveGrass is always greener on the other side. That doesn't mean you cant make your side green as well. Just nurture it well.

When should one give up their dream? I've always wanted to do research in theoretical physics but my university grades aren't great (despite working hard) and I've been rejected from PhDs. How can I tell if I'm just not suited for it?

You should give up when giving up makes you happier than trying again.This position can be different for different people. In the particular case of theoretical physics, I don't think there are many early-life events that can truly shut the door for eventual success, but lots that will make the path ahead seem a lot less exciting to travel.So examine the path ahead, and honestly ascertain if you're up for it. Some things to think about:Are you willing to take on the financial burden of the path as set before you? This might mean doing lots of free labor, or doing things you aren't excited by to earn while you shore up deficiencies in a paid master's programAre you willing to take on the time burden? Your goal is at minimum 10 years away. Do you want to wait that long? Will you be happy in the meanwhile?Are you willing to pay the opportunity cost? There are other interesting things to do in life, and if you pursue your goal, you will not be pursuing at least the majority of them. They can be other careers, raising a family, pursuing hobbies, or anything else your time and money can provide you. Some of these things may give you close to, as much, or even more happiness and benefit than your original dream.These are things everyone should be thinking about, but it's especially important to consider when you've hit a setback. If you end up deciding it's worth surmounting, you'll have the intellectual determination alongside the willfulness. If not, you've saved yourself from putting more sunk costs into something you'll abandon anyway in the future.

Have you ever said you were going to do something despite your fears, but end up losing all your energy and give up?

Many times.There is a psychological aspect to this phenomena.When we get excited about making a change or doing something we've always wanted to do, we have a tendency to want to share it with as much of our friends and family we can.However, when we are greeted with the traditional responses “good for you,” “Oh that's great,” etc. our brains release serotonin, which makes us feel as if we've already accomplished the task we set out to do.This is why we get demotivated after telling a bunch of people of our plans. Your brain already got the chemicals it needs to make you feel happy, so what else is there to try and accomplish?So, if you're looking to get around this, my recommendation is to have your idea of change, then let it hang out in your brain for awhile to develop a bit. Keep your plans private as much as possible. Then, do it.And you can always brag to your people afterwards.