Why should I bring a child to this world?
Very interesting question. For many years I was never going to have children. Because I was not sure that I would not repeat the mistake my father made of leaving my mother the day I was born.It was not until I was certain that I was not doomed to follow his footsteps at the age of 34 that I told my wife that I thought it would be OK to have kids. By that time she had come to accept that we would not have kids.We now have 2 boys aged 17 & 19. I still wonder if I did the right thing. I look at the world, and I fear for all our futures. I live in Australia and have never directly experienced war or terrorism or religious persecution. But I do see our environment degrading on a daily basis.Are we just living on a large Easter island?Will we ever work out how to live together?So many questions. So much angst. So much beauty.Rupert Russell ‘Gods Eye II’ Framed Print by Rupert Russell
Should I have children with my bpd wife?
Absolutely not.I thought I could love my ex out of being BPD, or that I could manage a relationship with her. Once I gave up on being able to love her out of it I went to school for psychology and during that time convinced myself I could deal with the situation and it could work out, after all I thought I was equipped with the knowledge.I was completely wrong. I threw away 15 years of my life that I now feel was a complete waste. I don’t see my children and that situation culminated in my ex joining a cult and then suing me with the cult parading through court one after another to testify I was abusive, unstable, unhealthy, unfit and oh by the way in their professional opinion likely molesting my daughter. All while the mother of my children sat there scowling at me because I dared question her decision to join these wonderful people.I don’t know who was in charge of that entire ordeal, if she was lying to the cult, or if they were lying to her, or if they were just feeding off their own awfulness, but it destroyed my family.Never consider children with a bpd person that has shown a potential for hurting others and or creating drama. It get’s worse and worse without treatment and it can and will destroy pretty much everything you ever thought parenting was going to be like. It literally ruined my life and I may never be okay with what happened. It’s been 3 years and I still cry. I know now it wasn’t all my fault, at least not what happened, but I should have known better than to let that kind of person have that kind of power in my life. I only get one of these, and I threw 15 years of my life and the entire concept of fatherhood away because I had kids with a BPD woman who never would get treatment.The very worst part of it was when I finally came to my senses was able to truly see her for her, she was pulling the same manipulations and craziness with the kids. I don’t know why I didn’t see it sooner, but she was basically abusing the kids, doing the same mindgames crap she did with everyone.My Daughter started acting like her more and more, she started dissociating, having these narcissistic moments, I brought it up because I knew catching it early would make an immense difference in my daughter’s quality of life. My ex would go off about it all being BS, that nothing was wrong with anyone, nothing but drama and causing issues over it.Don’t do it to yourself or those potential kids. It’s not right.
Should everyone have the right to have as many children as they want?
I think people should have the right to have as many children as they want, but having been given that right they shouldn't abuse it, and realise that the Earth has finite resources and that we can't keep having our population growing otherwise more and more people will die starving in the future.
When to tell my girlfriend I have a child?
When to tell my girlfriend I have a child? I have been with my gf for 8 months - and for the last 3 months, we have talked a lot about getting engaged, married, family, etc. I am 30, she 34. I am divorced 3 years, and have a 5 year old daughter that we started spending some time with together recently. She was with someone for 10 years, he never asked her to marry him, the last 2-3 years for them was bad. They broke up over a year ago. We have been together since August '09 We are in-love, feel right together, we have some bumps, and have both been hurt, so have some defenses. Now she knows pretty much all my secrets, etc. except this.... I have a 14 year old daughter, that didn't know about until she was 3, and have never met. I pay my child support, but that's it - she has had a "family" since I found out about her - I have never felt right about meeting her - for her sake or mine. I was 18 when I found out about her - I am 30 now. I want to propose to my GF, but for a lot of reasons, mainly I am afraid what she will think of this, I have yet to tell her this? Should I have already told her? She wants to marry me except she doesn't know this yet - do I tell her, then immediately propose? HELP?!?!?!
Should dwarfs be allowed to have children?
I'm not trying to be offensive to dwarfs or anything, but they do carry a genetic disorder and do we really want more people who also carry that genetic disorder? Even if their offspring aren't dwarfism, they still carry the gene for dwarfism even though they don't exhibit it. So maybe it will reappear in the great grandchildren. We don't need any more dwarves, or people with sickle cell anemia, or any other genetic disease in society. So maybe they should just have the option to adopt if they want kids. The more we allow these people to breed, the worse society becomes because we get more and more people who have disorders. If this was in the wild, those people wouldn't breed and their disorder would be wiped out. The more we let them breed, the more genetic disorders we will get.
Should parents have a license to have children?
I think all fisrt time mommies and daddies both should have to go to some type of schooling while pregnant. If not while they have their children and have to complete some kind of course. This is my opion because I see so many children around my area who are 3-4 years old still not potty trained, still cannot talk, and are underdeveloped. I also know an 8 year old who still does not know his ABCs. Which he has no learning disability it is because the mother does not care enough. I think it would be a good idea to have to have a license. You need one for everything else. Hunting, Fishing, Driving.... All of which is a responsibility.... Why not to have a child?
What's the oldest age someone should have a child?
My opinion is not the most popular one, but I believe that parents have an obligation to their children to at least provide them with sustenance and support until the children are old enough to become independent. This may include supporting them in their higher education days. And, depending on their culture, perhaps also provide some support for when the children have children of their own and need some assistance. This means a parent should assume to be able to last at least until their children are 30.Therefore, in my opinion, it is unwise to have children after you're 45 or so because when you're 80 and they need support for college, there's not much you can do.Note that I come from a culture where parents help their children in those aspects. I know that in my other cultures parents may assume the "you're of age now, fend for yourself" attitude and I don't condemn it, I just mention it because my calculations would be meaningless in such context. But in my context, this is how I view it (and I would therefore not risk adopting a child when I was past 45 because that would mean I subjected the child to the risk of remaining without parental support as early as 15, depending on my health).As for biological children, yes, risks of genetic disorders and of not carrying the pregnancy to term increase with age, there's nothing to do about it. I'd draw the line at 40, but I should mention that I didn't read much about it, I just know that, in my country, women above 35 are subjected to obligatory chromosome analysis during pregnancy because risks, as it's told, increase greatly after 35.