Why did my boyfriend go see a female friend without telling me?
I’m cutting you some slack on this one, unlike a lot of responders, because I once had a boyfriend who assumed I would go apeshit crazy if he wanted to spend his birthday with his guy friends. I would not have. I would have been happy to celebrate his birthday a different day and delighted for him to party down bro-style. But he didn’t bother to let me know. So when I asked “Hey, what do you want to do for your birthday?” he crossed his arms and said “I’ve got plans, thanks.” Just like that. Instead of “Well, on the day of my birthday, I was invited to hang with my bros, but should we do a big night out another night?” What he actually said was very hurtful, not only because it implied I was not welcome in any way to celebrate the day, but because it also implied that I was some kind of fishwife who would have somehow prevented or forbidden his friend-party. I would not have.Long story, but your question reminded me of what it’s like to not be given the benefit of the doubt. It might be how your bf is feeling right now, and it might also be how you are feeling right now.If you are feeling hurt that your boyfriend didn’t think you would trust him, that’s a good sign.However, if you are angry and somewhat threatened by him hanging with an old friend, that’s exactly why he didn’t tell you.You need to have a talk with your boyfriend. But first, go in with this reality check (I’ve had to face it too): You do not need to ask your boyfriend’s permission for everything, including hanging with male friends. Likewise, he does not need to ask your permission to hang with female friends.Ask your boyfriend what you might have done to make him think you’d overreact. If he can’t cite much, it’s time for a talk with him about female stereotypes and assuming that you’d blow up when in fact you’d just show normal interest.If he can cite a bunch of things that show you are jealous, it’s time for a talk about trust and boundaries on both sides. Just keep it nice, keep it accusation-free, and leave it with, “so in the future, when x happens, we will respond with…” This can become a positive step forward in the quality of your relationship if you use it that way.
How do I deal with a wicked, trash talking office colleague?
That is the worst, because office gossip spreads like wildfire. Try not to encourage it by listening, or if its about you, try to show that it doesn't bother you at work. You can attack things at home if it bothers you that much, haha. If you want to bring a formal complaint, talk to HR or your office manager. Above all, don't go for what you really want to do, which is trash talk back. It really feels better at the time, but it will only make things worse.
How should I deal with gossiping coworker spreading lies?
After I went to the emergency room with chest pain, the same day my husband got laid off from his longterm job, this gossiping liar went around the office telling everyone "why is (my name) stressing about that now? Her husband hasn't worked in a year". I am FURIOUS.
Ugly, fat girl thinks she is my friend. how to *politely* tell her to go away?
there is this really unpopular girl in my class, and her mom is coworkers with my mom, so sometimes we hang out. but the thing is it would KILL me socially to be seen with her. she is fat, not attractive, small boobs, and wears cheap clothes. i dont even think she has ever had a boyfriend and she is already 14. in class she tried talking to me, but I pretended i didn't hear her. im afraid if my friends see they will think im friends with her. she is a nice person, so i dont want to hurt her feelings, but she is ruining my life. how do i politely tell her that i dont want to associate with her anymore?