Does the older sibling have it the hardest?
I am the older sibling, and my only other sibling is my younger sister. We are 6 years apart. Growing up, my parents worked odd jobs that paid them minimal wage. I wore hand-me-downs, played with toys from my cousins, and did not participate in extracurricular activities due to financial woes. Due to this scenario I was born into, I did not have many friends and became very self-conscience and reserved. My parents had stabilized and gotten considerably better wages now, and so my little sister growing up has a constant new supply of clothes and toys. She's developed an attitude of "if she (meaning me) can have it, so can I." So, whenever I buy new clothes (mind you, I'm 6 years older than her), she has a fit and demands new clothes as well. It seems as though she gets EXACTLY what she wants simply by saying that it's only fair if I can have something, she can have it, too. For instance, I'm going to see a new movie coming up with my friends and my mom is making me take her. When I was a child, my parents never took me to see movies. My sister complained that I "always" go to the movies, when I have only went once more than her this year. She screams and yells and doesn't get lectured, but if I complain, my parents get angry and tell me to grow up. Have you ever experienced this in your life, and does the older sibling seem to get the shorter end of the stick while growing up?
How does a close sibling deal with a narc sister?
It is always difficult to deal with a family member who is a narcissist. Other family members that you are attached to are also attached to the narcissist and do not want to believe that they are ‘bad’. This may feel like a betrayal to you since you are showing up as an authentic person and your sister is not. You may have tried to enlighten others but they defend the narcissist.You need to let others discover for themselves, who the narcissist really is as a person. The narcissist will inevitably (eventually) abuse them too. Familiarity breeds contempt where the narcissist is concerned.You should minimize your contact with your sister. Do not share information with your sister. Remember your joys turn into her jealousy and you will be punished! Your woes are her joys and she will run with that ball under the pretense of concern for you. There will be no privacy. There will be judgement! When you are in her presence, be an observer, not a participant. Let others do the talking. Leave as soon as you can. Do not take it personally if she does not invite you… It is really a compliment- you no longer feed her narcissistic supply, you win- she knows that you are not a sucker.Warning- do not trust her at any level. As your parents age, she may heroically step in to ‘help them’ but in reality she is laying the groundwork to garner the lions share of any possible inheritance!
How do I put myself in the shoes of my ugly older sister? I've always been the pretty one and she's just been kind of like my shadow. I want to empathize with her, though.
This is so funny because my little sister went through this growing up. Her niece, our niece is older than my little sister and growing up people saw my sister as ugly primarily because of her skin tone (too dark) and her hair (thick and unmanageable by our mother.) our next to the oldest sister , had an ex husband who after 10 years or so saw my sister and asked her are you the pretty one (referring to my niece) or the ugly one (referring to my little sister) now a beautiful teen.Beauty is so shallow and I have come to believe that the more physically beautiful a person is the more flaws you find.Beauty is ever fading you’ll empathize with her when she’s married and you’re not and you are wondering why her and not you or why you always seem to attract the same jerks.Thanks to your beauty it’s like flies attracted to boo-boo just can’t swat away enough jerks. Your beauty will keep you busy with an everlasting flow of guys who will be attracted to you for leaching purposes.I think she will be doing more empathizing with you for your woes than you will for her and her disappointments.Your sister should be your best friend, confidant and replacement you through out your life, if this is not genuine, make it, good siblings partner in crimes are hard to come by.
How do I deal with sister in law who hates me?
Always only an insecure person behaves in a mean and irrational manner.If your sister in-law is one of them, you need to feel sorry for her. Since you can notice her mean and cheap behavior, you are definitely in a better position. If you know she is back biting you can't swoop down to the same level once you know it's not the done thing.It's not always tit for tat. Smile off her insults, better still laugh at yourself. Take away her weapons to hurt you. Let her back bite to her heart's content, respond only to her and let her know very firmly when she trespasses to your territory.Don't encourage people who carry tales to you. Tell them in no uncertain terms that we shouldn't talk behind a person's back. People who volley don't have a stand. They may carry back tales from you.If you have heard and it hurts you go face to face and without anger confront that person. Remember you should not involve your spouse you should just stand on your feet and without raising your voice give it back!
How to get your sister in trouble big time?
It depends on her age, under 14- put some of your money underneath her pillow, tell your mom you've lost your money(elaborate on how you've saved it up) and has she seen it, ask the whole family have they seen your money, now for the ahrd part, somehow you have to get your mom to look under your sisters pillow, and find the 'stolen' money, your sister will be in trouble. or(and this is very twisted) have a huge fight with your sister, get her so angry she hurts you, run to your room crying, make the bruise/bump/scrape a LOT worse, and run to your parents and tattle tale. or shave off her ONE of her eyebrows when shes asleep, you will get in HUGE HUGE trouble but hey, it will take WEEKS for it to grow back!!