How can I help a friend with smoking and drinking problems who keeps putting off changes?
This is a very challenging role in trying to help someone. From research and experiences, I've found quite a few ways to develop self-motivation.The first step may be to ask about the particular habit and really listen. Show empathy through reflective listening that picks up on personal views, current feelings and deeper meaning of statements.After awhile, you may see discrepancy between the friend's goals/values and habit. This friend may start voicing concerns and intentions. You might facilitate a willing exploration of the habit's pros/cons: the benefits of continuing or barriers to stopping as well as the reasons to cut down or be free of habit. He or she may recognize how life might be better and discuss ways to change .Minimize arguments and direct confrontations with a non-directive role -- avoiding advice, logic, preaching, shaming, labeling, and criticizing, And you don't have agree like a salesman either,Try to adjust to the person's resistance rather than opposing it directly. Joining in with a reverse style may be best. In working with adolescents (and older rebels), saying "Don't stop until ready" often influenced a constructive attitude,As the situation evolves, be supportive of prepared optimism and self-effectiveness. Frame the choices in life, including the available resources and the friend's strengths. It is empowering to realistically believe in one's own power. You may be able to togetherthink of previous successes. And it has been proven to be universally helpful to hear "You can..."And finally, reinforce positive statements and actions by amplifying them, nodding, or otherwise approving.
Smoking, drinking and xanax while pregnant?
So I just found out I am going to be an aunt! My sister is roughly 3-4 weeks along. However, she has been drinking heavily, smoking daily (nicotine), and taking anti-anxiety meds (xanax and klonopin) daily. She has since stopped everything when she found out shes pregnant. However she is very concerned what effects this may have on the baby, even though it is still early, shes especially worried about the anti-anxiety meds. Please no negative comments, just help, personal experiences, etc. Thank you all.
"i've been drinking, i've been smoking"?
Its Foxx "I'm not myself right now"
What do I do about my girlfriend smoking and drinking alcohol? I love her but I don’t know what to do or how to help? I’m not around much so I’m always worried if she is smoking or drinking and if she being responsible? Im losing myself.
You have a problem. It is your problem. It concerns having poor boundaries and failing to understand where one person’s rights and responsibilities stop and another person’s start. And until you get some assistance with addressing your problem, it’s going to be very hard for someone who is in a relationship with you.Smoking and drinking alcohol are in many places entirely lawful activities. Many people enjoy these activities. It is a choice they are entitled to make about what they put in their own body. If the person you are in a relationship with wants to do this, and you are convinced that it is a terrible choice, then by all means have a discussion about why you think this. Then leave it alone. It’s for her to decide, not you.The troubling thing about your question is that it gives the impression that you believe it is your job and right to control someone else’s behaviour. Believing this is not healthy or helpful for you. She is responsible for her behaviour and you are responsible for yours. Love does not entail stepping over someone else’s boundaries or forcing your opinions on to them. If you love someone, then you are suggesting that you respect them. That respect must include the idea that they are responsible for their own behaviour and for any consequences that arise from their behaviour.Please sit and have a good long think about what you are saying: it amounts to “I love her but I don’t trust her” which is inherently contradictory. I am not suggesting you have no right to feel concerned or to express those concerns - but being obsessive about this is bad news for you, for her and for the prospects of a successful relationship.
What am I missing in life if I don't drink and smoke?
NOTHING.“When I was thirteen, friends would make fun of me if I didn’t have a drink. I just gave in because it was easier to join the crowd. Time and again, I was forced to indulge in such activities by them,and by the time, the addiction had me, I had the addiction.!“I was really unhappy and just drank to escape my life. I went out less and less, so started losing friends.Those friends with whom I once drank, had now become mere contacts in my cell phone.The more lonely I got, the more I drank. I thought it actually relieved me of all my tensions, but actually what it did, was just overshadow it. It took control of the entire functioning of my brain, and I was rendered helpless. I was then married,but slowly my marriage relation strained. I was violent and out of control, and it harmed our marriage.A lot of my first concerns were about drinking, and everything else came second. I started to realize that when I did not have a drink I had a sense of panic and I would start shaking. I never knew what I was doing. I was ripping my family apart.I had no children, and so the bond of both us strained even more. Eventually, she divorced me, and I was left alone.“I began wasting all the money, I had ever collected and a time came when I was homeless and started begging for money to buy drinks. After years of abuse, doctors told me there was irreparable harm to my health. Life seemed miserable, and to end it seemed the last hope. To overcome it, I took to drinking, to even a greater extent. I could feel helpless, and fatigued, but still I could not do anything about it.“To add to my woes, one day I ran into one of my close friends, who had taken to drinking, and forced me to do it, when I was thirteen. He came in a car, with a son in his wife’s lap, and a small beautiful daughter, and his life seemed perfect. On inquiring about the cause of that change, he revealed that he came under the medication of a counselor, who helped him. He then understood, that addiction is nothing, but sheer ignorance. It does not relieve one of their tensions, but instead adds to their woes. It does not help an individual, and so, it robs one of their living. It’s useless ,and should be avoided.Thus, you lose nothing if you don’t drink or smoke. Instead, you gain a living, a new reason, to live. But if you are addicted you lose a living, you lose the reason to live.P.S.- This is a piece of fiction for representation purpose only.!Gracias,MSTR MISHRA.Live as you do.:-)
Recently, my friend, Sreenik Seal has been smoking and drinking a lot. How do I help him?
You can't make anyone do anything! You can only suggest.I wish everyone would do what my 10th grade Science teacher did. She had a man come to our class with a cart and two huge glass jars with lids. One on left had huge black rock. One on the right was a huge pink piece of bubble gum. The man explained that the left was a deceased man who had smoked 3 packs of cigarettes a day and died from lung cancer. He explained that his lungs were full of tar and he died because his lungs were like a tar-like rock. The one that was fresh-looking bubble gum had died in an accident and had never smoked. My mom smoked a pack a day and frequently went to bed with a cigarette in her hand. I begged and pleaded for her to stop smoking. SHE WOULD NOT. I never smoked.
Saw my older sister smoking a cigarette and drinking a beer?
Hi! Not Alex, but one of the many users of this account. Okay I'm 13 years old and my older sister is 17. Our parents out of town for a few days and she's "in-charge". So I was looking for her to ask her something and she was sitting by the pool crying, smoking a cig, and drinking a Miller (I think that's it). I love my sister, we may fight and argue, but I don't want to see her like this. I don't know why she was crying. What should I do? And if you know, what are some bad effects of smoking/drinking. -Jess
I think my boyfriend is developing a drinking problem! Help?
Bibibond, very thoughtful of you to be so concerned about your boyfriends consumption of the almighty bottle. There are many parents who will allow their kids to drink at their homes, thinking that they are going to do it anyway and would rather they do it within their own house rather than the street. I am not advocating for either side. But the majority of parents only allow it to happen on a part time basis and not nightly. Perhaps his parents have a drinking problem also and are allowing him to act like an adult so they have a drinking buddy. I would certainly discuss your concerns with your boyfriend and don't hold back. Much like him I was drinking very early in my life but gave it up by the time I was 22 years old, thank goodness. It caused many problems in my life and many encounters with the law, and not good ones either. Sure he is going to feel pretty grown up being allowed to drink. But you need to emphasis with him the difference between responsible and/or social drinking and being a pig drinker (which ill only increase over time). I have three sons and luckily none of them really like the bottle. They do however like to smoke pot and although it is an illegal behaviour I would far rather my boys get their kicks from a little smoke than from the booze. I know of nobody that has become violent and/or killed anyone from smoking a joint. Let him know that you are concerned about the amount of alcohol he is consuming. If you are interested there is a self-help group called Al-Anon that is there for friends and family of problem drinkers. You might be interested in taking in a couple of these meetings to learn how to deal better with the drinker. Best of luck to you both. And once again I must commend you on being so concerned about his drinking. But you are a young lass and do not want to get involved with someone who has the potential of becoming a problem drinker, as it not only affects their lives but all those around them also.