How can you get rid of social anxiety and approach anxiety?
Well not so much of a social anxiety but I'm afraid I get approach anxiety on almost 98% for women and 50% for men (well I'd like to approach anyone it isn't just about getting to talk to a 'girl') because really I have not a single friend in my local community college and it's getting awfully lonely; I don't care about getting a 'girl' or anything of the latter (still need to fix myself/and esteem) but I just want to be able to speak up and just say hi, hello, how are you to anyone without feeling some remorse/regret or anxiety or stupid/weird/creepy In anycase I think the first problem that I'd like to get rid of is my insecurity, it's never gonna go away because firstly I can look rather really Asian and then at some point I wouldn't really look Asian and just 'normal' to even latino/white looking (and I know I have a really deep problem with that...) on awful days my face muscles just tires out and it makes me ugly (atleast that's what I think) but is it really confidence? or am I just afraid to talk to a girl because I know I'm not that 'good' enough, tall or not-a minority - but really I just want to be able to talk to a friend or to anyone without the outcast feeling, how does one start that way up in college life now? (yes I've had friends, they're all just gone in other lives now) Anyone else have this similar lol problem? ;D At times when I'm around with friends I do not feel anything with anxiety at all
Hey Guys,so yesterday I went out with a few friends. One of them brought a girl I didn’t knew. I immediately thought she was cute but I kinda didn’t thought she would ever get involved with me. During the Evening the girl who brought her came to me and said to me that she (the other “random” girl) said she liked me and is interested but that she had to go through really rough times with friends and her ex and that she has social anxiety because of that and that I most likely would have to make every step.Now I talked to her during that evening and got her number to stay in contact. I also see her next Weekend again when we go out with some friends again.But I`m worried and don’t really know how to handle the situation. I don’t know how often I should text her or how I should talk to her, cause I think I have to be quite careful till she trusts me because I don’t want her to shut herself away since she has those socializing issues.Did anyone has experienced something similar or knows how I could behave in that situation?
In order to overcome your anxiety with women, you have to focus on the root problem. You likely have social anxiety, but it manifests itself most when you’re around women because they’re a trigger for you.There are several steps you can take to manage your anxiety and as a result, improve your interactions and relationships with women.If you find that you have panic attacks around women, teach yourself techniques that will help you come down from one. You can do this by measured breathing (inhale for four seconds, hold for seven, exhale for eight), distracting yourself from the panic (excuse yourself to a bathroom and play a song that calms you down or read something interesting) & practice grounding yourself (Find 5 things you can focus on, 4 things you can touch, 3 things you can hear, 2 things you can smell and 1 thing you can taste).Work on your confidence. If you have insecurities, identify what they are. If they’re realistic insecurities, then take the steps to work on them. If you want to be a better conversationalist, read books about how you can do that. If you want a different physique, change your diet or head to the gym. Boosting your confidence will help you feel more secure when interacting with women.Put yourself in situations where you interact with women, but they aren’t the main focus. Try a meetup group that does something physical like hiking or kayaking.If you are ready to go on a date, try one that isn’t as stressful. Go to a movie but skip dinner, do something at night, try an amusement park. All of those things reduce direct contact and help prevent a potential panic attack.Be upfront about your anxiety. If you’re feeling nervous, you can let the other person know. Don’t focus on it though and don’t mention it two dozen times. Maybe they have suggestions for easing your anxiety.You need to continue to slowly expose yourself to scary situations so that they become less scary over time. It can and will happen if you work it. Good luck!
Who should I approach about having Social Anxiety Disorder?
Social anxiety disorder is mostly a psychological problem so I would advise you to go to a psychologist. You can significantly reduce your social anxiety through a variety of interesting strategies without medications. Control Your Reaction to Fear - Overcoming these reactions is as simple as learning relaxation techniques such as yoga, meditation, and self hypnosis; Prepare Yourself Mentally - Rather than let your fear of embarrassment or humiliation overwhelm you in social settings, role play a few scenarios in advance to make sure you are well prepared for any challenging situations. If you are prepared for things that can go wrong and you know what to do and say in those awkward moments, you will have the confidence to keep calm and handle the situation well; Face Your Fears - Sometimes, our social fears does not stem from a lack of social skills, but rather from a sense of insecurity and a lack of esteem. By stepping outside your comfort zone and placing yourself in uncomfortable situations such as speaking in front of your peers or complimenting someone, and doing it repeatedly, the easier it becomes. Soon you will soon realize that there is actually nothing to fear from most people and you may even enjoy and laugh about it; Positive Visualization And Affirmation - The way you think strongly influences the way you feel. The realization that only you can control how you think, and how those thoughts control you, is an important step in overcoming social anxiety. When those thoughts, such as “I’m going to fail” or “they will make fun of me” begin making their way into your mind, challenge those negativity and replace them with more realistic, calmer thoughts. Tell yourself that you are capable, confident, and wonderful to combat those negative thoughts. Positive visualization and affirmation are helpful in motivating you along the road to curing yourself of this problem and improving your self worth. Some people have found reading various Self Help Article to be of benefit in overcoming their Anxiety like this one I posted below.
How to approach girls when having social anxiety?
Hello.I started at a new school four days ago now and I have seen my dream girl in my class and I so want to atleast be her friend but the problem of mine is that I suffer from social anxiety. My class is friendly, we are 22 15-16 years old pupils with a variety of interests but they have nominated me as a nervous person, they even state it loudly. Today another person started in our class and I was with my class when she came and shook my hand and I started sweating and the people in my class said to her not to worry, he is just very nervous etc. So it is obvious .I have maybe said a few lines in total per day and I feel like a schmuck following the other guys everytime without saying anything. Oh well, the girl, back to her. Well, she is beautiful in a special way and she talks in a special way all signs most people would hate but I like it. We have only switched one sentence in total, and Id say she is a bit nervous she too. Of all the people in the class we are the most nervous ones, me on a scale 1-10 would be 10 and she maybe 5. Rest of the class 1-2. We had a discussion at class about our problems and she said she needed to practice on not being nervous. Now, my problem is how do I get to know her? She always sit lonely at one table and so do I (but a nice guy always come to the rescue and sits next to me, 40% of my conversations are with him and he has made me a bit more open, he encourages me to talk, but still, Im 10 on the scale of course I could sit next to her but that would not feel good for her I believe. .Yesterday she wanted a drink but she did not have the change for the machine, I wanted to give her the change, but I wouldnt do it as my whole class stood there aswell. It would be obvious I liked her for everyone..Ohh I really want to know her and be her friend but its hard with social anxiety.. In my seat, if you had social phobia, what would you to to tackle my problems, not just witg the girl problem but all.. Please..
How to I get rid of approach anxiety?
You need to realize that if a girl rejects you when you approach a random girl that she is not rejecting you but rather your routine for picking her up, Women are biologically designed to care much more about inner things like confidence than physical appearance. If you get rejected don't take it personally because she knows nothing about you, your friends or your hobbies, all she knows is your routine. All you have to do is polish up your routine and get back out there! I know it is scary at first, but AA never truly goes away, it is always present you just need to suck it up and get in there. The more times you approach the less it will bother you. Approaching and confidence are the only ways to get over AA. -Good Luck
I think it depends on how the person's anxiety manifests itself and how well they cope with it.One of the really key things to managing my anxiety is being able to do things on my own time, for example, I always meet friends at the destination instead of driving together, so I can get there and leave on my own time without affecting them. It's very important to me that my disorder does not become a weight for others to bear.I have a friend who's anxiety makes her very needy, she requires constant verbal praise and reassurance and can get incredibly clingy to the person she's with in a social situation. She is also a very sweet, lovely woman with nothing but good intentions and we have many common interests (or we did when we first met, anyways). Being around her is therefore incredibly trying for me, it hijacks my timeline and leaves me no opportunities for escape or a private moment if I need one.However, another friend of mine, who manages her anxiety similarly to myself, is relaxing and enjoyable to be around in all situations. We're like two lone wolves with a tether of mutual understanding and friendship between us.I always tell people that the toughest part of dealing with a mental illness is that it forces you to be selfish - it takes so much work just to get through a day or a moment that you have no energy to spend on anything else. It also takes a considerable amount of self reflection to understand and adapt your life to such disorders. My best friends are the people who accept me as is, including my self-imposed limitations, but know me well enough to know when they can help pull me out of my comfort zone. Some of them have experience with mental illnesses and some do not; it's about the person, not the disorder.
Not doing more in high school. Not joining sports or clubs because I was too afraid of being around other people and having them judge me. I really wish now I had done more, participated more. I also regret it because it has adverse effects on me now. Now I really feel like I can't do anything. Can't get a job or go out and meet people. I basically keep to myself and have met no one new for around two years now. I take classes online because the thought of a college campus terrifies me. It was always difficult for me because we were constantly moving when I was a kid so I never had a lot of friends due to my anxiety and depression. I also never dated anyone. It always took me a long time to make friends, usually if they approached me first. So in short, I regret nearly everything. At the same time I realize these experiences (or lack thereof) are a part of who I am and I am currently trying to fight my way out of this funk. Anxiety will grip you and paralyze you and social anxiety is even worse because it makes it near impossible to socialize with anyone and socializing is a very important factor in your overall health. If social health is down your mental and physical health will likely go down as well. So, it sucks. But there you go. :)