I am a 35 year old divorced and childless woman. I am giving up on life. What are some suggestions?
Why on earth would you give up already??!? I just turned 35 on May 26, 2016 - less than two weeks ago. I have never been married, I don't have kids and I live by myself with my cat. Sounds pretty shitty right? WRONG.I was in a relationship for five years where I was treated like an afterthought, not a second choice but a last resort and it took me five years to figure that out. But when I did I left.And now? I have built up my self esteem, I have a job I like (I don't love it lol) I have an adorable apartment that I painted and decorated myself and it's allllll mine. My family is proud of me for leaving a man who didn't appreciate me and my friends treat me like gold.Yes, every once in a while I feel a twinge of loneliness but you know what? 35 is sooooo young nowadays!! I look at my mom and she is 63 and still jogs almost every day and has the best legs of anyone I know and men ask her out on a regular basis. If that's still happening to her at 63 then you have no business giving up at 35.There is a whole lifetime ahead of you. Hell, you could fall in love 3 more times before you get to be my mom's age - how much fun would that be??I plan on living and loving as long as I can and I still want to have a bunch of babies and nothing will stop me from doing that even if I have to do it on my own eventually. But eventually hasn't happened yet. 35 is not eventually.You are grieving right now and feeling intensely lonely and feeling like you are starting from scratch but you're not. You are wiser than the first time around and you have learned much about life and men and most importantly, about yourself. Next time around will be different because you will know better what you are looking for and what you are not looking for.Don't let fear and a broken heart stop you from having all of the things you once promised yourself you would have. Keep that promise to yourself. Honour your heart by making it whole again and then getting back out there and finding the love of your life. I promise you, you haven't found that person yet. And I promise you it won't be easy but it will most certainly be worth it.
I'm a divorced 41 year old woman who hasn't had a successful date since her marriage ended 5 years ago. How do I learn to accept that I'm too old and used-up to have a love life?
"Dating does change when you get older…and, in many ways, for the better. The paradox is that your maturity offers you many advantages over the youthful daters. Even under previous disastrous relationships, some maturity has transpired.1. There is no ticking of the biological clock. Yeah!2. Those in their 40s and 50s are generally more self-assured. You don't seem to be, but that can change faster at this stage of life.3. You have learned from your previous relationship experiences. You can take inventory of what time has taught you so that you do not fall into old traps. Knowing yourself better and being able to size up others more skillfully gives you a big advantage.4. You likely have greater freedom to enjoy things of your own choice5. Romance can be more enjoyable, because your entire world doesn't focus on a pimple, or your period, or not knowing how to dance,etc. 6. You have figured out what is important. You can put away the “list” of perfect characteristics that you are seeking in your date. Physical appearance, the type of car one drives and other status symbols take a back seat to more important personal attributes.7. You have gained perspective. Not every aspect of your romantic life feels critical when you have balance life goals and interest.8. Your personal power is solid and secure. You have won and you have lost. You have made friends and let them go when they were not supportive. You can handle life’s ups and downs, even if you are currently in a low, healing mode.Your challenge is that you have to reframe, your self worth and potential. You were brainwashed into the negative and you can now restart a clean view of the real core you. Do some wonderful new things to revive your sense of self. Get a supportive coach or counselor to set the new path
My daughters 14 year old friend is hitting on me?
I'm a 53 year old retired clinical social worker. I would suggest that you refuse more than sex and that you be firm about it. You piss the girl off and she can say anything she likes. Don't talk to her and for god's sake, DON'T TOUCH HER. You're a 44 year old man. Think about her if you can't help it. Just don't act on it. I don't think I have to warn you of the trouble you could be inviting. The truth? If it were me, I would call her father, tell him his little darling is hitting on you and you don't want her at your home. This heads off problems later by warning him up front. Just don't reveal your preoccupation with thoughts of his daughter. Once daddy has the information, hopefully that would end it, and it has to be ended... right?
I need some words of wisdom/advice/comfort for my friend whose husband is leaving her - she's 27 y/o?
I think her husband was or is cheating. I wouldn't even consider counseling at this point because he just told her he doesn't love her anymore. If he really loved her and want to work things out he would suggest counseling with her not leave her in the dust. Tell her hang in there and to take care of herself and her son. She has the better half, their son Evan. Tell her chin up and stay strong for her and her son. She will just let herself go if she keeps thinking negative of herself. She needs to think positive and believe in herself because when you believe you will achieve. My sister has 8 kids and is 44 years old, and she still have guys asking her out. My sister was hurt at the beginning of her devorce and felt the same as your friend but time did heal and she continued to stay strong for herself & kids. Don't let any man bring you down. Not worth it, you can do better and you deserve a better happy life with a wonderful man who will love you unconditionally. Tell her chin up and think positive. Just be there for your friend & do fun things together. She can always go back to school, there is such thing as student loans, or financial aid, or find a job to save her house. Tell her I would sell the house instead of foreclosure if anything. If she stays strong and positive any man will accept that. Being depressed and just thinking and waiting for the idiot who just left her in the dust will just make her older, uglier, and lonelier. So don't waste precious time and make something out of herself. I wish her the very best!
What should i do? husband is an arshole... :(?
my marriage is on the verge of divorce. my husband is an asshole... he's mean... he says bad things to me, call me names, and hurts my feelings on purpose... he threatens to throw me in jail (even if he has to plant something to make it happen)... he threatens to take my son to NY and never let me see him... i don't have a job or any money saved b/c i've been at home taking care of our son instead... so i'm afraid to leave b/c of that alone. the thing is, we're a military family, and they offer marriage counseling for free here on post... i'm willing to go... but my husband is not... it's useless to try and talk to him about anything b/c all he does is blame everything on me... he says that nothings wrong with him (he's in denial) and that everything that's wrong in our marriage is b/c of me... he's real good at making me feel like nothing... question is, if you were me, what would you do? i'm lost... and don't know what to do...
Can a relationship between a 44 year old woman and a 22 year old guy really work?
I have two friends and former coworkers who I've known for seven years. They've been dating since the first year I met them. He was born in 1972, she in 1989, so while it's not quite that big an age difference, it's similar—and substantial. They started dating when she was 19 and he was 36. She is and was quite mature for her age, and he, while responsible and intelligent, is and was fairly "young" in interests and energy, so the relationship worked really well. Their relationship has had its fights like any other, but is one of the more stable and beneficial monogamous relationships I've seen among my contemporaries. They got married a few years ago and expect their first child in the summer. My aunt, who is currently 62, has dated several younger men, including one with close to a thirty year age difference whom she would have married had he not died of throat cancer. While some of her other relationships have 'not worked out' (i.e., not lasted until death do us part), they were mostly mutually beneficial relationships that came to a graceful close. She does not regret any of them. The only circumstances in which you should ever tell a friend you disapprove of a relationship is 1) the partner is emotionally or physically abusive or neglectful; or 2) you suspect or know that there is some kind of dishonesty involved. Your friend is aware of the age difference and has chosen to engage int he relationship anyway. You should support her, rather than judging. If you are concerned that their goals are different (i.e., she's looking for a relationship and he's looking for sex), you can express that to her IF you have a legitimate basis for assuming that, other than his age. I have met plenty of 22 year old men who are actively engaged in or pursuing relationships, not just sex.
Is it wrong for an 18 year old to date a 44 year old man?
My best friend is 18 years old and is officially dating a 44 year old divorced man. Her reasoning is that he "looks and acts really young, like 26," and "older guys are hot." I seriously don't even know how to react to this.. It's just creepy and gross and wrong to me. Her mom has no idea he's this old, I don't think anyone does except for me. So..my question is, is this really a big deal? I feel that it's completely wrong, but she acts like it's no big deal. Honestly, I don't want her dating him. He's old enough to be her dad. So should I say anything? Or do I just keep my mouth shut? What do I do as her friend? I don't even know... I'm just worried about all this.. ://