Annoying grandparents! How do I cope with it?
So i share a house with a couple family members, including my grandparents and OMG they get on my last nerves! My grandpa can be one of the rudest, inconsiderate, annoying, lazy people. All he ever does is sit and watch T.V. all day I'm talking about 9-5 like its a job lol And he'll be sitting right next to the phone and if someone in another room he'll tell them to get it if it rings. So lazy! He's always asking everybody to do everything for him. And he annoys everybody on purpose. Like putting the t.v. on mute if he hears someone talking on a phone. And then my grandmother, i feel like she uses me all the time. Everytime i turn around shes asking me to do something for her. Its not that i might, but its just the fact it happens so often, it makes me wonder is she just taking advantage and using me? Cause i never say no to whatever she asks me. And she very critical of everybody. Shes that motherly type that likes to always tell everyone what to do, and making you feel like your a child, telling you crap you already know constantly... So how do I cope with these ANNOYING grandparents? I'm saving up to move out away from family A.S.A.P But in the meantime, any advice to deal with them?? I'm going out my mind!
How can I have people that won't take advantage of me?
By learning to be assertive and resolve conflict.Some people have not learnt to stand up for themselves. Often this is so for people who have not had siblings. They never have the sibling rivalry that actually teaches them to be assertive and how to navigate disagreements in the safety of the family environment . They never learn that they can feel hostility and still love the person they are in conflict with. That in conflict resolution there can be a win/win solution.Make a conscious effort, next time someone asks something of you, instead of saying “yes” reply “no” if asked why ( because people are used to you always saying “yes” they will be surprised) you do not have to justify why! Your reply can be “because I don’t want to” depending on the situation, and your relationship with the person. You could say “ I would like to but I am not able to this time”Memorise the following:Your time belongs to you!Your time is highly valuable!The greatest gift you can give to another is your time!When you give up your time so freely, others do not value this, because you don’t! Have you become the doormat because you give out the invitation; “ walk over me, wipe your feet on me because I am not worthy of anything better? ”Some people have been undervalued as children and continue to allow this to continue by doing what others want them to do, and this builds the expectation that you are a willing worker, helper and volunteer.Some people offer themselves to be available to do the bidding of others because they actually believe this is the only way other people will care about them. Surprisingly they create this for themselves, if they become ill, none of these people will come forward to even ask how they can help!If you are making the choice to do whatever because you want to, this is very different from doing whatever because you are expected to.I have many times heard people decline invitations because their answers is “ I can’t because I have to have the grandchildren”There can be two reasons for this reply. One is not being able to say “no I don’t want to” because the grandchildren are the excuse or the other is really wanting to accept the invitation and decline because there is this expectation from the children, taking advantage of grandparents to have the grandchildren.Learn to live your best life for yourself
How do people take advantage of autistic people?
I was very gullible & stupid when I was a kid. My mom took advantage of my stupidity & gullibility for years. She told me that I was only learning disabled. She said I had a choice in going to a “special school that would help me” in the 8th grade. What she didn’t tell me was that that “special school” was a school for kids with behavioral problems (which I didn’t have). She also never bothered to tell me that the reason I had to go was that the county school board forced my parents to sent me to that horrible school. She told me that seeing a shrink was a requirement for going to that school (it never was). One time I had to go to a doctor’s appointment on a day that I was to participate in a school play about Julius Caesar. She told me that Julius Caesar killed Jesus Christ (it was Augustus Caesar, Julius’ adopted son. Julius was long dead before Christ was born). She told me that when I was 3 years old I was reading a dictionary (I never believed that one - my elementary school grades proved to me that there was no way in hell that that was even remotely true). My mom lied to me constantly & I was stupid enough to believe most of her lies. I don’t know if anyone else ever took advantage of me because I didn’t find out I was autistic until 2016 when my sister accidentally blabbed it to me. My parents deliberately kept my condition a secret from me for years.
Why are people so rude about pregnant women getting medicaid?
I'm sorry, but I would like some answers. Why do some people JUDGE and put women down for getting medicaid while they are pregnant? You lump us all together and say that we are having babies and not able to take care of them. Are you racist too? That kind of generalization makes me wonder? Factly, I am an educated woman. I have my degree. I unfortunately was let go from my job (in which I was making 80k/yr) because I was in the mortgage industry, therefore have NO benefits. Now, only after me explaining myself to you do you now retract your statements? I understand people milk that system. I have paid taxes too!!!! Am I not entitled to it? Why must everyone be generalized? Does anyone agree? Or does everyone what to be critical and harsh?
I don't understand people's lack of empathy for immigrants!?
I read all kinds of comments here about how all illegals are lazy criminals, and how they want to take advantage of our resources and take away our jobs. Does this bother anyone but me? My best friend's boyfriend was brought here by his parents when he was 3- meaning it was not HIS choice. He grew up and went to school here, was a good student and wanted to go to college. Then his parents told him that because he was illegal he couldn't go. The guy can't get a job, a bank account, credit, NOTHING. They are planning to get married and they can't even find proper ID to do that. And guess what? He can't go back to Mexico either, with no family there, no place to stay and no money to survive. He doesn't even have the proper papers Mexico requires to get a job there. I have heard so many sad stories like that and I can't believe that people think life is just SO easy for illegals. I think that people have that hatred because they want to have someone to blame for their own problems.
Should Grandparents be respected for their wisdom?
When I submit a questions, I like to post my own answer so I can research the comments I receive, to further my education. However, before submitting this question I discussed it with my wife Margaret because I was Baptized into the Church of England and Margaret was Baptized in the Catholic Church. Therefore, the answer to my question is: YES, Grandparents should be respected for their wisdom because the older they are the wiser they are so it is important they are taking care of, not only by the state but also their families. Elderly Care in Society is lacking and needs to be updated by adhering to the following principles:
How often do you think grandparents should babysit?
I ask this question because of some comments i read concerning another question I asked. Grandparents are not free babysitters. When we watch our grandchildren, we get to enjoy them, love them, play with them and then send them home with mom and dad. It is not our responsibility to cancel our plans, or babysit when we simply..just don't feel like it. We don't need a reason or an excuse. We raised our own children. We lost many nights of sleep, we have payed our dues and have earned our retirement and should not feel obligated to babysit unless we want to, We also should not be looked down upon if we say no, not tonight. When you answer this question. Please put parent or grandparent. I think their views will differ. It is not the grandparents job to raise the grand kids when they have parents to do that. As much as we love our grand kids, and enjoy time we get to spend with them. We should never feel we have to babysit. I am disabled, I raised my 3 kids and have 7 grand kids. I now enjoy my time and I don't think there is anything wrong with that, sometimes my time is with the grandchildren.
My mom is afraid that the rest of our family will take advantage of my nice nature and manipulate me for their own selfish needs when I move out. How can I show her that I'll be fine?
Your Mom is probably speaking from experience. She probably had to learn some hard lessons dealing with her family and spent a lot of time setting up boundaries.I have a less reputable side of my family too. I know the feeling.Ask her to help you by sharing her experience. If you know the history, you’ll be prepared to not fall for the same tricks. You’ll approach situations with these suspect family members with healthy skepticism.Also, cold as all this sounds, here are some tips for this type of situation:Learn to say ‘No’.NEVER let an adult live with you. They’ll survive. They’ve been surviving for awhile just fine without your generosity.Never loan money. Give it away if you can afford to.Don’t get involved in family gossip.You don’t ‘owe’ a family member anything just because they’re family. If you need to be convinced to do a kindness it’s a bad sign.If you feel emotionally pressured or rushed you’re probably being scammed. Don’t commit to anything.Once people know you’re not a pushover, you’ll be fine. The trick is to not be a pushover.Good luck! Appreciate your Mom! She’s probably not worried over nothing.