Someone told me to put my child in a dark room for time out?
No, not a dark room. Try this: First warn the child that the behavior is unacceptable. Then if the behavior continues, remind the child that the behavior is unacceptable and let them know that if it continues they go to time out. For a younger child place on a stool, chair, or step for a few minutes to calm down. Not too long as a few minutes is a long time for a young child. Calmly explain that the behavior was unacceptable and be sure to let the child know what behavior. Be sure that the child stays for the required amount of time. After the time is up, have the child apologize. After the apology, praise the child for for apologizing. You want to reinforce good behavior. After that let the child continue playing. It's over. (Example: "We don't hit people. You could hurt someone if you hit them. You're going to sit here for 3 minutes. Then I'll come get you and I want you to apologize. Now stay here.)
What is the most unfair punishment your parents have ever given you?
I forgot to put my new clothes I had gotten for my birthday away and left them on the floor when I turned 7. My parents said I didn't appreciate the fact that presents were not a right and then cancelled my birthday party.
What should be the punishment if your child gets suspended?
As in, what punishment should you give them at home, when they've been suspended from school? I bet this is gonna be a real unpopular answer, but I'm gonna say it anyhow: none, that's double jeopardy. I'm not saying let your child sit home and eat ice cream and play video games all day. I probably have them spend a portion of their free day reading or doing a little bit of household chores. But I wouldn't ground them, or strip them of all electronics or privileges. Missing school under suspension is the punishment. For a lot of kids, whether they gripe about it or not, school is a social enjoyment, at least part of the day. Many schools do not let kids do makeup work from a suspension, or at least don't let them earn the full credit of the grades they merited on the work. The child did a misdeed at school, and they were punished at school. If they did a misdeed at home, and were punished at home, would the school take that into account and add a punishment of their own? For example, if I ground my son for fighting with his sister, can I expect the school to also keep my son from socializing while at school, or to take away all his recesses? I do have some personal experience with this. It was my parents' policy when my four brothers and I were growing up, and it's the policy I apply to my three children. Double jeopardy, I say. I DO fully expect most people to disagree with me on that, and I don't have any problem with other parents enacting different policies, but that's my way of handling it.
My son is grounded for the entire summer for failing math, should he be allowed to come on vacation with us?
Many of you may have seen my other questions...I grounded my 14-year-old son for the entire summer vacation for getting an F in math. He is grounded until school starts up again, which in our district isn't until after labor day. He had to go to summer school and summer school ended last week. He passed with a 95% average, so my wife wanted to un-ground him as a reward. I convinced her not to, because he won't learn a lesson if we let him off early. Good grades should bve expected, not exceptional, and I did tell him he was grounded for the Entire summer, so he won't get the message if we let him off early. He's grounded from everything: No TV, computer, phone, video games ,other electronics, desserts, No going outside or leaving the house, no bedroom door. Anyway, the issue now is that we are going on vacation to the Black Hills/ Badlands area in South Dakota next week. I am wondering if he should be allowed to come? I think not, because he's still grounded and is not allowed to leave the house, but my wife wants to let him come. If he does stay home, however, we'll have to hire a babysitter. I think the best option is to let him come to SD, but forbid him to leave the hotel room while we're there. That way he wouldn't have any fun and he'd stil learn his lesson, plus I think it might be more of a punishment because he had to come all the way to south dakota just to sit in the hotel room all week. What do you think? Should I hire a babysitter and have him stay home? Should I let him come, but ground him to the hotel room the whole time? Or is my wife right that we should let him enjoy the vacation with the rest of the family, at the risk of him not learning a lesson about proper study habits?
What are the right consequences for a kid who did not return home on time?
When my kids were in high school, I had a semi-strict curfew.It was about 11:00, unless it was prom night or something.I also had to know what the PLAN for the evening was. If I didn’t like the plan, they didn’t get to go. I wanted to know who was hosting the party, and I needed to know who their parents were. I volunteered to be a chaperone at the local parties, or dances. I got to know many nice people.I was somewhat strict. If they came home late, they could not go out for the next weekend.If they argued with me/us, the phone was taken away. Next, the car privileges. As a last resort, they would be placed on restriction after school. No money. No friends or activities, no computer, nada.My last threat was that I would remove all clothing and not buy anymore. I would leave them with just the bare essentials: Two pairs of jeans and two shirts, underwear, etc. The minimum. I would also consider taking the door to their room off of its hinges.I would only take them to the library to do their homework and allow them to borrow one book a week.Anyway, it worked for us, and my kids behaved all through elementary, middle, and high schools. We had very few problems.College was the big unknown, as they went away to school. They graduated without incident.Lucky, I guess.
My son made me cry for the first time.?
Okay you need to be harder on him. You constantly feel bad about the fact that he lost his mother. Knock it off its only making it worse. He is gonna grow up thinking the world owes him something since his mother was taken. I know its tough, trust me. When my dad started to go on life support the first time, my mom felt bad for us all having to watch a machine breath for him and watch him hang on by a thread. So she loosened her grip and it didn't really effect me who is was 16 or my sister who is 20, but my little sister got away with more. She is 13 now and she is snobby, manipulative, has no manners, rude, sceams when things don't go her way. Is that what you want for your son. Explain to your son that things happen, and that pretending to be a little bad a** gang member is not going to make it better. It isn't going to get him a girlfriend. As a girl i think gang members are little cowards, they run around together because they can't fight anyone by themselves. So it takes 10 or 20 of them. Keep him locked up and start him on pee test and drug screens yourself. You can buy a drug screen kit yourself. He has not earned trust so why give it to him. Take his phone and his computer or whatever else. Make sure he doesn't get a phone or anying he can use wifi or texting on from his friends. Take everything. Don't be such a softy. He could never really hate you. If you want him to live on your sofa forever then keep being a wimp about it. Your his dad not his friend. Kids are going to try to fit in, tell him that is not the way to do it. If he keeps acting like this the only thing you can do to save him is reform school for boys. Its not how you go over fool's hill, its how you get over it.