Should I have my stepdad and dad give me away at my wedding?
i totally understand what you're saying!! im getting married in Nov & i was having a hard time deciding who should walk me down the aisle! i want my biological dad to be there with me but he didn't raise me aslong as i can remember it was my step-father that was there for me & i didn't want problems on my biological dad getting mad or my step dad so i was going to have my mom's dad walk me down the aisle but then my fiance made me realize that i was being really selfish because my step-dad was the one who raised me provided me with a home put food on my plate he was the one there on my birthdays, Christmas and so on my biological father was never there he would never even call to tell me happy birthday i haven't even seen him for 10 years & my mom told my step-dad he was going to be the walking me down the aisle he got soo happy he told all his fam already [[in a way because my two older step-sisters never got married & they have kids]] so i think it should be your step-father to walk you down the aisle because your dad was never there if he was in jail all the time! he doesn't deserve that honor to be proud of you & show off because its your step-dad that receives the credit for raising you & providing for you & dnt get me wrong i have had many arguments with my step-dad i even left the house once because we would always fight but he was always there! he treated me like his own child & if something would have ever happened to me he would have been the one there with my mom not my dad same goes for you because your dad would have been in jail while your dad would have been there & my dad thinks he's the one who is walking me down the aisle but i plan on telling him that even though i love him so much & i don't hold nothing against him for never being there for me that my step-dad was much more in my life & he's the one who encouraged me to go to college & gave me the talks on how a guy should always respect me the one who was there for my kindergarten/elementary/middle school & high school graduation
If the stepfather is paying for the wedding does he give away the bride?
The Father of the bride should give her away.. no easy way out in this one.. They need to sit down and talk about this.. if the stepfather is claiming that he is paying the most for the wedding.. and wants to give the bride away...well, he is not being sincerely about this. Remember it's always the biological father that give the bride away.. unless he does not want to.. It's his honer.. don't take that away from him. If this is a money struggle .. well, go for a smaller wedding.. It's a waste to spend a lot of money on other people.. and all they'll do is criticize at the end of the day.. so make it about what you want ( the bride ) not other people. Good Luck
Stepfather wants the FOB role at my wedding?
So my story might be a little different. My mom is my bio mom. She's the only biological parent I've ever had in my life. My dad, the man I call dad and the man who has been there since I was born, is my moms best friend who stepped up when I was born because my biological dad didn't want to know. He and my mom were never, ever a couple and were never more than close friends. He's honestly one of the best people ever and I know my mom still considers him one of the most important people in her life. When I was 12, my mom married my stepfather. He's a nice man and has done his best for me. But I've always known he hates this situation (though he never says anything to my mom. That, I am sure of). And now it seems like his jealousy/insecurities are coming out now that I'm planning my wedding. He asked me point blank if he could be FOB and walk me down the aisle/do father/daughter dance, etc. I was speechless and he left before I had the chance to respond. I guess I should have seen it coming, but since I really never considered him doing any of that stuff, I kind of didn't think about it too much. I know he has been good to me. But he's not my dad. I don't look at him as a dad or as a dad figure. My dad is that to me and he's been amazing. And my mom is amazing, too. Any advice? I don't know if I should bring this up to my mom. I know she would act, but I also don't want to upset her.
I don't want my step dad to give me away at my wedding?
When was your step-dad added to the family? You said your father passed away when you were two. Did your step-father raise you along side your mother or is he the product of a recent marriage? It makes a HUGE difference in the advice I will give. If your step-father is a recent addition to the family I think it's perfectly fine to have your grandfather or uncle walk you down the aisle. Your step-father isn't a "father figure" in your life. He's just the man your mother married. If your step-father and mother have been married for years and years and your step-father was your "father figure" whether you liked it or not, then you have him, your mother or NO ONE walk you down the aisle. Blood and DNA have no relevance in determining the importance of a family member. Since your father has passed away and your step-dad raised you for the better part of your childhood it would be an absolutely HUMILIATING slap in the face to him for another male to walk you down the aisle. You might as well hang a sign that says, "My dad is dead and I hate this other guy." It's fine to ask your mom or walk yourself. But you don't get to be downright rude and hurtful because you don't get along with someone. Imagine how you would feel raising a child for 15 years and having them completely dis you in front of all the family and friends even though you aren't a drunk, abuser and you did the best you could and love that child like your own. Please think real hard. You are holding a lot of hearts in your hand right now including your mother's.
Creative way to ask my dad to give me away at my wedding.?
I'm looking for a cute, creative way to ask my biological dad to walk me down the aisle. My step dad raised me from age 2, but passed away three years ago. I recently found out my biological dad wanted to be in my life, however, my mother wouldn't allow him to be. 4 years ago, my step mom got pregnant. We call my baby brother our "Miracle" baby due to the fact they are in their early forties and this is their first child together, and because when he was born, I reached out to my biological dad and his family so I could get to know them. I want him to walk my down the aisle and my fiancé thinks the world of my dad and would like him to be the one to give me away. Anyone have a super cute/creative way to ask? Thanks in advance!
Am I a bad daughter for wanting my step father to give me away at my wedding?
You may choose your own escort, regardless of your circumstances. That being said, pay = say. If your bio dad or his family are paying for the wedding, then they may expect you to do certain things in the wedding (i.e., have Bio Dad escort you). If you are accepting money from someone, then make sure you are aware of their demands/wishes BEFORE you start spending their money. You may need to make a compromise in that case, or politely refuse their money if there's just no way they'll budge on something you absolutely do not want to do. No pay = no say. If someone's not paying for the wedding and makes a request that makes you uncomfortable, just say "Thanks for your input" or "We already have that part arranged" and then change the subject. If they protest, just shrug and say "Well, sorry you feel that way" and then change the subject or walk away/hang up the phone.
Can my son give me away at my wedding?
Your question was a little confusing... if dealing with a father and step-father I suggest this, Your step-father raised you and deserves respect for his role in your life, Your birth father is obviously still a part of your life and also deserves to be treated with respect. The only way to show them both respect and not make either feel "slighted" is to ask your son (this should be acceptable to both fathers). It also allows you to include your son and to allow your son to show his acceptance of your new marriage. Now the hard part.... how to include the fathers.... Allow them both to make a speech at the reception! :) Your birth father can talk about his memories of your birth and early years and your step dad can pick up with some memories of the times he had with you from the point he and your mother married. This should allow all to be included and not have any "favorites" or competitions. Melanie is right.... your photos with your son will be proof enough why you chose him... no explainations needed. If however you meant that your step-father IS the man you consider to be your father and everyone is for some reason mad at HIM.... I suggest having him AND your son walk you down the aisle, one for each arm. Whether the rest of your family is upset with him or not they should have enough respect for you to be civil to him. PERIOD! Dont let anyone talk you out of having whomever you wish walk you down the aisle. Its your day, and your choice.
Can my son give me away at my wedding?
As a minister, I've seen all sorts of folks give brides away, and occasionally performed some where nobody gave the bride away, and we just skipped that part. So, if I were doing your wedding (And I'm available to do so, if you're in my neighborhood,) I'd say, "Go for it!" Of course, what you have to consider is the tradition behind the bride being "given away." Her parents/guardians are symbolically giving her over into the care of her husband "to be wed." I'm not sure that your son really can do *that*, assuming that he's planning on living with you afterwards. But that's merely the tradition behind it. If you want your son to present you to your groom, ceremonially-speaking, there's no known standing rule that forbids that, simply because of his age.
Is the wedding tradition of a father walking his daughter down the aisle antiquated and sexist?
This tradition is rooted in sexism, however times have changed. Women are no longer the property of their fathers or husbands and the meaning of the practice has evolved with the times - at least here in the United States. I don't know a single person who chose to include the tradition in their marriage ceremony and viewed it in a sexist light - myself included. When my husband and I were married, my Dad walked me down the aisle and the big, tough, ex-Marine cried like a baby the whole time. He could barely choke out the words, "Her mother and I do," when the Officiant asked who presented me to be married to my husband. It remains one of the sweetest memories I have of our wedding day. No one in attendance thought for a second that I was property or that the ceremony was in any way, shape, or form about ownership of me being transferred from one man to another. That's ridiculous. My husband and I wanted to honor each of our parents during our wedding ceremony. Asking my father to walk me down the aisle was my way of honoring him and in a sense acknowledging the fact that he'd walked beside me, guiding me in so many ways and supporting me, all of my life. My mother and my husband's parents were all honored in different ways during our ceremony, but walking down the aisle was all about me and my Dad. That's just us, though. The great thing about living in a free country is that you get to do whatever you'd like for your wedding. If you find the tradition sexist or offensive in some way by all means, don't do it. I've been to many weddings where the bride and groom walked down the aisle together or both parents walked down with the bride. I've said it before and I'll say it again - your wedding, your rules. Use whatever traditions speak to you, or come up with something new, if you'd like. I abhor injustice - sexism, racism, prejudice of any kind makes me crazy. I absolutely consider myself a feminist and a huge proponent of marriage equality. As such, I believe there are many cultural norms that we ought to seriously question and in some cases, stand in strong opposition of. This particular tradition, however, strikes me as quite harmless and personally speaking, very sweet. There are so many other things more worthy of one's righteous indignation.
My mother has been inviting anyone she wants to go wedding dress shopping with me. She says I shouldn't bring all my bridesmaids because there's not enough room with all the people she invited. What do I do?
Is your mother paying for the dress? If she is paying for the dress then she will want to control the environment for dress shopping that is a fairly normal response but it is your dress and your day so try and talk to yor mom and work on a compromise.Generally speaking, with dress shopping there’s no obligation at all to invite family, or friends or even your future mother- and sister-in-law to go wedding dress shopping with you. This is a very personal decision, and it’s usually just your mom (or other mom figure), sister(s) and maid of honor or one or two bridesmaids who might join you. For some brides, dads and brothers can also be a big help . But as with almost all etiquette, there can be exceptions as with my granddaughter who had the entire bridal party go shopping but the Bridal shop was prepared for us and a appointment had been made to accomadate the large number that was in our party, and that day the entire party shopped for dresses as well as the bride and we were there all afternoon and had lunch together before the appointment - so it was a grand dayRegardless of their desire to join you, if you want to keep the experience private, that’s okay, too. Say, “I want the dress to be a surprise, so I’ve decided to go just with my mom and maid of honor.” Or, “This is something I’d like to do with just my sister.the more people you have there the harder it will be to make a decision since everyone will have a voice on the dress and you cannot listen to everyone or please them it is your day and your dress let the salon do its job and keep the numbers to a select few no more than 3–4 and set up appointments for the best possible attention from the bridal shops . they will pull out a hundred dresses for you if that is what it takes to find the one that is perfect but you need to allot time and give them the attention - not your guests so tell mom enough is enough its just you her and your bridesmaid the rest of the family can be surprised OR after you pick the dress come see it at a fitting when there is no pressure to please and no opinions but yours.. congrats and good luck