How to split up my stepmom and dad?
That depends on what she says about you and to you. If these things are disciplinary and intended to try to get you to improve, then take them for what they are and use what she's saying to make yourself a better person. However, if those things she's saying are unfair, insulting, and/or verbally abusive, you should inform your father and let him deal with it. If he dismisses you, start keeping a journal. Write down exactly what your stepmom says, and when she says it, including date and time. After a few weeks, make a copy of the journal and give your father the copy. "See?" you should say. "I told you she was mean to me."
My dad likes my stepmother better than me? :(?
I'm sorry you're going through all of this and that you don't even feel comfortable in your own home. It's NOT you, it's her... apparently your father settled for a selfish and egotistical woman because he was desparate to be with someone? and i'm sorry it's put a damper on the relationship you have with your dad. You DO BELONG in your dad's home! He is responsible for your welfare and 'm sure he loves you. Meanwhile he's letting his wife control and manipulate him and he also ALLOWS her to put him down. Your father obviously doesn't have a very high regard for himself, no limits or boundaries, but puts up with her so he can have someone around.... sure he might love her in his own, strange way, but mostly she's not that great for him or the family. You stand your ground... feel free to live comfortably in your own home despite her aggravation. HER issue is this -- she is INSECURE and unsure of herself so she tries to find people to put down and control. Well, people like this need to be put into their place. So if she criticizes you, just tell her it's too bad she feels that way, and then go on with your life. If she tries to hurt your feelings on purpose, just smile at her and let her know it's ok, no one's perfect. If she tells you she's happy she's not your mom, "i am too" would be a nice response as you smile at her. And dont participate in any further conversation even if she gets defensive. Just walk away from it or change the subject!!! You said your dad and you talked about her and he said you are just jealous? SHE is the jealous one. She also sounds greedy. I hope you can realize SHE is the one with the problem. It's not you. If you can take a deep breath every time she aggravates or is a bltch, and smile as if she doesn't phase you eventually you will see she will become intimidated by your ease at her remarks and actions. It's not going to be easy for you, i'm not saying that... but change the psychology in your behavior toward her -- use calmness... don't let her know she's upsetting in any way, and let her know how you feel in the shortest and kindest responses you can muster. This will show her you're unaffected by her idiocy.... as you should be. As far as your father is concerned, he needs to grow a pair, but probably never will.
My stepmother is killing my father? What should I do?
sooo tough! I think your stepmother sounds narcissistic. Am i right in guessing everything she does is all about her, even the abuse to you guys as kids was power based? to try to make it all about her importance in the family? i have added a link for you about narcissistic personality disorder and will just say this much about your dad and how you can attempt to interact with this person. Your dad has developed a mutually dependent abusive relationship with this woman. he is so used to being abused he thinks it is normal and just accepts it as what he deserves. He can only be helped by trying to build up his self esteem. Narcissists love attention ANY KIND - so if you abuse her she will be secretly be pleased, if you are nice she will of course be happy about that. The best way to deal with them is to still talk, be courteous but don't give any emotion to the discussion , tell her nothing of any real importance, just act like you don't really care like you would talk to someone you don't know in a bus queue. This drives narcissists crazy and they eventually start to behave and run after you as they HATE to be ignored. But never act like you care cause then they know they have got you. Good luck with your dad, try also to organise time with just you and him and try to build him up about himself and to see that her behaviour isn't normal. How do i Know? i have a crazy narcissist father and my mum is the victim of his tirades of abuse. Good luck http://www.halcyon.com/jmashmun/npd/dsm-iv.html
Do you like your stepmom? why and why not?
I adore my step mother, my mom passed when I was 18 and mother myself and my step mom is and always has been very compassionate and loving. My dad married twice after my mom passed my first step mother was down right evil, she would lock us out of the house and make rude comments to my dad about me especially, being the black sheep and all, so my father divorced her, he said his kids come first and he will not abandon us for anyone or allow her to treat us badly. His second marriage was a hit, we all love her dearly, my dad passed in 05' and we still keep in touch and spend holidays with her every year, she was so good to my dad I couldn't have asked for a better step mom.
My dad is cheating on my stepmom!?
okay so my dad is cheating on her and i dont know how long exactly but i know its very long...i overhear phone conversations all the time of him talking to his mistress about the last time they had sex, how it was and planning the next meeting..really disgusting not to mention awkward (no i dont listen in on purpose..he talks loud and i can hear from my room)..my stepmom recently gave birth to a premature baby and while she was in the hospital he went to see the other woman..sad i know..funny thing is him and my stepmom were watchin Cheaters and he was commenting on how disgusting people who cheat are...anyway me and my dad dont get along so i wont "talk to him about it" open for suggestions though thanx ....i'm his daughter and i'm 19 in case anyone is wondering
How do I find out if my stepmother left me anything in her will? She passed after my Father did.
It shouldn’t be too hard to find out the person closest to her; maybe her biological lids, or a sibling, etc. That person will either be executing her estate or will know who is. You should contact that person and just ask them. If she did not leave a will, then unfortunately an adult step-child is rather far down the priority list for who can try and make a claim for her property/possessions. But if she has no living blood relatives, and didn’t leave a will, you could make a claim on her estate. Its always best to talk to a trust and estate lawyer though. Some of us have been though probates so we know how it works but a lawyer is the best source of advice on this. Good luck.