Can you understand something you haven't experienced?
One can never really understand how another person experiences things. even if two people undergo the same experience at the same time, it'll be a different experience for each of them, because they have different mindsets, see the world differently, and so experience the event differently. you can understand how a thing might affect someone, but it has to be only a theoretical knowledge because you aren't that person. even if the same thing happened toyou at the same time that it happened to the other person, all you really *know* is how YOU feel about it. you can understand from the inside only when it happens to you - and even then you'll only know how you feel about it, not how someone else would feel about it. when I've been talking to people about some things, I don't say "I know how you feel", I say, "I know how I felt when something like that happened to me." it's the nearest I can come to understanding them. I think that true understanding has to come from the inside out - to *feel* a thing rather than think how it must feel to someone else - we're all different, you can't use your own personal ruler to measure other people. I get pretty peeved when people say to me, '"I know just how you feel." they don't know how I feel, they're not me, they don't have my exact worldview or my mindset - they don't have my memories or my mentality, so how dare they claim that they know every detail of how I feel about something?
What is one thing that must be experienced to be believed or understood?
BEING BLIND.Only when you experience it, you realise it is beyond the worst imagination.Definitely not something you want,or should to experience,do not wish this to anyone.I experienced the darkness for about 10 minutes. Maybe bit less ,maybe more, but to me it was an eternity. It was the worst 10 minutes of my life so far.I was 14 years old,and I woke up one nice summer morning feeling sick in my stomach.I stayed in bed, did not go to school and my mum took care about me. It was not getting any better so we decided to drive to hospital.I stand up from my bed .You know how it can happened sometimes when you stand up fast and you black out for about a second ?Well I blacked out.And it lasted 10 minutes.I have no idea how that is even possible. What was the cause of it,I just know I was terrified.I tried to wink,and rub my eyes and nothing..Black..I felt like in a deep dark prison of my own body,and I felt desperate.You trying to see, your eyes wide open, and nothing. Black ,black....I had no idea what is happening,if I ever see again. Remember already sitting in a car,while driving to the hospital,still in dark.Though I will never see a faces of my family anymore. I thought I will not see my little brother growing up and his adult face. I will never see my own face.Mix of very heavy ,heavy heavy thoughts.Then I remember I started see black and white ,just frames.You can not imagine how happy I was just to see that.I thought this is better then nothing. I was out of a complete darkness.Then I started to see again. I do not know how people can deal with this. I am honestly not sure I could live with that. It is worst then your worst imagination.
What should I do when no one understands what I am going through?
Accept that all damn and heart wrenching pain you are going through is not exclusive to you.Divorce happens.Career breaks hurts.Miscarriages occur.Parents outlive their children.Children lose their parents young.Countless woman look into mirror and feel undesired. Bread earners irrespective of any income group lose sleep over future earning source.Adopted souls wonder how lives would have been with their real parents.It's like we all are rusty seashore that has to get hit by inevitable waves of negative emotions. That's the nature's rule.I can't avoid it, You can't escape it. But the zigzag chalk line that divides me and you on life's emotional slate is drawn byEvents that brings these negatives tides : I hit rock's bottom when I am fired, You hit rock's bottom after a heart breakTiming of these negative hits: I get caught up in drugs when I am 22, you at 16.I lose my parents at 10, you lose at 60. I get bullied in school when I am 15, you at workplace when you are 40. I die at 25, You die at 99. All numbers!Capability to swim through these tides: I stand strong and let myself out through words and talks. You are weak and end up taking your own life.Ultimately at some point of life, we all are forced underwater by the surge of negative emotions. What make us aloof to other people's drowning is our singled-minded survival focus on seeing the light of sun on water surface to which we try to swim through whirlwinds.The only thing that limits our empathy to feel other's struggles is our inability to look beyond our own struggle. It’s only and only when we will see those innumerable stifled " No one understands what I am going through feeling" placards being raised upon the surface, we can make peace with the feeling of why only me and why always me?So, whenever you get that feeling of no one understanding you, just try opening out your door a little bit more, space by space to let others inside and talk your heart out.
Where can my partner find help to understand my depression?
I would suggest writing about what it feels like for you in depression. What the depression feels like. Use metaphors that your partner will understand and relate to. Write about the darkness you are experiencing from your viewpoint inside it. Then give this to your partner. This can also be helpful for you as a step to overcoming the depression. Here is a description of depression that I wrote about the clinical depression I went through.What does it Feel Like to Be in Severe Clinical Depression? by Jon Shore on Dealing with DepressionMaybe that will be helpful for both of you.It is extremely difficult for someone who has not experienced deep, long term depression to truly understand it. Even after years of training and practicing psychotherapy I did not truly understand depression until I went through 3 years of it myself. I did not really know that dark, bottomless well of pain and anguish until I had lived in it. I still remember it vividly but am no longer touched by it. I have helped hundreds of people out of depression over the years. In part because I know exactly what they are experiencing from my own experience and they know it.It is helpful to have a partner who understands what you are going through. It is essential to have a partner who is supportive of you when you are in the darkness.If you are in therapy you could always invite your partner to a session with your therapist and use that session to help your partner understand what you are going through.You can get out of this darkness. It is not a lifetime sentence even though it tells you that it is. Reach out to those who can help you.I hope this is helpful.Take careJon
How do u make a voilent person understand that its over for good in a relationship?
i have been with my ex bf for 2yrs.our relationship was going great after 1yr& then suddenly everything had changed. he had became a bad voilence person.& i didn't knw hw or why.i was good to him.i let him have his space & freedom.i took care of him, i supported him alot.becuz he didn't have a job ,he wasn't studying aswell.he didn't want to do anything .he jst wanted to stay at home & live on his mummy for money and free rent.but she didn't care at all.she loved him so much,& she wld do anything for him.hes 25yrs old.after 1yr i found out why he was treating me bad he was doing drugs.& 1day he ask 4 my help and i did help him as best as i can but he didnt stop.and he jst kept on blaming me for everything.he tried to kill me 6months ago at his mums house .she saw it but she wont stick up 4me ,becuz she thinks im teaching him bad things,which im not.she doesnt like me now.shes jst looking 4 someone to blame.i rang the police but they never done anything at all.becuz i needed mre proof.
Okay so my girlfriend of 5 years has found out she now has bipolar, Can anyone help me understand what it is?
My girl friend told me she has bipolar 2 weeks ago and im finding to very hard to understand. She tells me i dont understand what is wrong with her but she dosent explain it that well. What is bipolar? She now lives at the other side of yorkshire and i cant keep tabs on what shes doing while she is there all week as i only see her on weekends. The things she told me she did in summer worry me so much. Like waking up with only her knikers on, on a bench with 3 guys around her trying to wake her up and not knowing how she got there. She told me she had no shame about it ether and she just walked home and laughed it off. A part of me dosent want to accept that she has it but i want to stand by her. A part of me is angry at her for doing the things she did in summer and she tells me she wishes she never did them but she cant turn back time. And just blaims it on bipolar. Dose bipolar make you do things like that? How can i understand my girl friend without getting upset with her?
Why don't people understand Donald Trump?
I live in NYC, where we have truly understood Trump for decades by having to deal with him first-hand, mind you. “First hand” means NOT through the filter of FOX news, or Infowars, or Limbaugh, or Breitbart, or CNN, or MSNBC, etc.First hand means we either observed or were subject to his inability and refusal to pay back hundreds of millions of dollars of debt, his refusal to pay many contractors and workers whose work was fine, but he knew it would be too expensive for the workers to fight him in court for it, his (4) bankruptcies, his inability to even get a loan with a U.S. bank, to community board meetings where he was screwing working people over by building soulless highrises directly in front of their modest home properties thereby cutting their value (and therefore their retirements, kids’ educations, etc) drastically- while his little minions would laugh at the crestfallen people; his philandering and failed marriages- should I go on?In the 2016 election, support from NYC (we who know him best! His HOMETOWN) for Trump was a dismal 14%. I repeat- 14%. That's for good reason hun, and not just because we don’t like his hairstyle. Ahh- before piping up with “But NYC is so liberal!” protests, know that NYC is an amalgamation of an awesome spectrum of different kinds of people. Therefore, the elections of Mayors like Bloomberg and especially- Giuliani- (remember them?) are not only possible, but even unsurprising.And we have to listen to FOX “news” filtered brainwashed rubes from hundreds of miles away moan about how we “don’t understand” Trump. Oh, we understand alright!It's like watching, for the hundredth time, an out-of-town friend meet a known and proven huckster, snake-oil selling neighbor get completely enthralled and sucked in by smoke and mirrors, while asking us (who've known said huckster for decades!) WHY we just don't understand!!!???Or, seeing a POS operator flatter someone's impressionable daughter - who won't listen because “He loves me! You just don't understand!”I hope many people's soon-to-be lousy health insurance covers brain-wash deprogramming. That is if, Trump supporters ever, ever, realise they've been completely played in the first place.Happy New Year!