Is it okay to withhold grandchildren from their grandparents when there is an argument between the parent and the grandparent?
The relationship between child and grandparent is very important and should be viewed on its own merits. Never involve children in disputes that has nothing to do with them and never pass on negative views the parent may have about the grandparent or vice versa to the child. That child should be able to love and respect all his family members and judge that relationship totally between the two of them. If the grandparent and child love and have bonded with each other don’t use the child as pawn to manipulate the parent. I am including a link to some great articles about healthy conflict resolution in families and hope you find support in them and can find peace with your parentConflict ResolutionAlso a link that is a good article and the roles and importance for both your child and the grandparent in sharing life togetherThe Many Roles of GrandparentsWith holding a child from their grandparent is always wrong unless that grandparent has shown themselves to be abusive or mentally or physically place the child at risk and even then I believe it important to find a way to keep a grandparent in the child’s life even if visits need to be short and supervised. Your relationship with the parent due to an argument should not include punishing the child from losing a grandparent they love, doing so is more often using the child to punish the parent and it punishes your child unfairly when his/her relationship is totally different than your own. Having had personal experience with this believe me the children suffer as do the grandparents unfairly and the children grow up with a vacuum in their family history that can be painful in their adult lives as well. So I pray you will resolve this conflict with your parent, but until then if your child and grandparent have a healthy loving relationship I pray you will not interfere with that for both their sake.
Social Security Credit for Grandparent caring for grandchild?
Social Security requires 40 quarters of covered service to qualify for a benefit. That may be why they denied her. Three years would typically equal about 12 quarters. That's true for everyone. And, you don't get a refund if you don't complete your 40 quarters. Does she get an annual statement from the SSA? That should help you figure out where she stands. You say that being a caregiver and paying taxes on it would have qualified her. When she filed her tax returns, did she actually pay the required amount for Social Security? I don't see how the child being related has any bearing on the determination. Her other option seems to be to wait until her spouse reaches the eligibility age. She may want to just verify the determination with a social security attorney. But, I would advise being very careful who she talks to. She should get a consultation for free. Edit: After seeing your response, it sounds like she paid the taxes correctly. It would seem as though IF there is something that says you can't get paid for caring for a grandchild, then you shouldn't have to pay taxes on the money. It would seem to fall under the gift category. I'm not an attorney, but it doesn't make sense that the government would tax the money and then say it doesn't count. Either it counts, or she should be able to refile her taxes (if too much time hasn't passed), and get that money back. She should also be able to go to www.ssa.gov and get some, if not all, of the information that would be on her Social Security statement. I think I'd spend some time on the website if I were you. Edit #2: This is driving me crazy! I went to the website. I think the person may have given your mom the wrong reason. Please either get her last statement or go to the website. She actually may not have earned the required quarters of covered service. The credits are actually based on the amount of pay the person receives. For 2011, one quarter is earned for every $1,120 of earnings with a maximum of 4 quarters earned per year. If your mom's pay was under four times the dollar amount for the applicable years, then she wouldn't have earned four quarters for those years. I'm guessing that's the answer. I couldn't find anything that said Social Security does not pay benefits for family members who work for family members. Good luck.
Adoptive Grandparents, what do you consider your kids/grandkids now?
We did this in November and I don't know how to introduce them to new people. Are they my children? (I'm obviously too old for that!) Are they my grandchildren really anymore? Should I bring up the adoption all the time? The kids will always know they are adopted so there's no problem with them hearing me say it.
What to do when grandparent favors a younger biological grandchild over an older adopted grandchild?
My husband adopted my older child when he was 6 years old. We now have a child together. So we have a 12 year old and a 5 year old. One of the grandparents favors their biological grandchild over their adopted grandchild. They call and ask to pick up the younger one, never mentioning the older one. They buy things for the younger one and not for the older one. Interact more with the younger one. It is quite obvious that they prefer their biological grandchild over their adopted grandchild. My husband and I have never used the "step" term and only use the term adopted in the case that we are needing to explain it to someone. Usually this is in legal matters and school. my husband has never treated our older child any differently than he treats our younger child. the other 4 grandparents obviously try to make sure they are not favoring one child over the other. My husband and I are unsure of how to handle this without ending up with a huge argument or worse. We don't want to hurt any one's feelings or upset anyone but we cannot allow our older child to continue being hurt by these actions.
What do you think of a grandparent that treats adopted grandchildren different than biological grandchildren?
The biological grandchildren are treated the same as family and friends, they are acknowledge, talked to, invited places, and the adopted children's only interaction with the grandparents are they receive 2 checks for $50 a year ($100 per year). They are not spoken to on the phone, invited over for holidays etc....