What should be said to mother-in-law that made plans with grown son's birthday dinner without consulting wife of over 14 years?
My husband comes home to say his mother called him a week before his birthday to say she wants to treat him and the family to his birthday celebration at a local restaurant of his choice. Problem is she never called, text or emailed me - his wife and the planner of all the birthday's before this one. No special year, nothing different. I stepped up to the plate and wrote her saying I appreciated her wanting to do something for her son (whom I copied on my message) and will make it easy on her with finishing her efforts. I made the reservation, I invited our kids and grand kids, etc. Picked a time that was good for everyone. She always makes dinner plans at restaurants that are at least 2 hours before anyone can even think about getting there. So I seldom am able to go to dinner with her and her son. They have a earlier schedule then I. But, I feel a need to say something to her directly, after the festivities. We are not close. But she has been kind and sweet most the time we are together. Her age could be a factor. When I told her how many attending, she said she can't afford all those and was backing off her hosting anything, so I offered to pay. What can I say that is appropriate but gets my point across that she stepped all over me? I joked to my husband that she must have seen the divorce papers before I did. HA! Kind words please. If you are a hater - please go after mean people - none found here ;) Thank you!
My Mother in Law cancels everything last minute because she is "sick" HELP!?
We were supposed to go out to Brunch today with my MIL, but 30 minutes before we are supposed to show up to the restaurant we call her and tell her were on our way.(Were an hour from her and were going to pick her up)she says that she is "sick" and can't make her. She is NOT sick, she was perfectly fine to go to a concert yesterday. She has NOT kept on single date or Appointment with us. She ALWAYS cancels last minute. She canceled for my Bridal showers, our Rehearsal dinner, My birthday,My husbands birthday,Thanksgiving and Christmas. It get upset because we Stop everything were doing to go spend it with her. However tomorrow, My MIL needs her Oil change and her tire replaced and my husband who is a Master Mechanic can't do it tomorrow because he has to get a Root canal. She is LIVID because she asked him 3 days ago. He said "I can do it Tuesday but Monday I have a root canal...She don't care....She wants it done NOW.. I am getting soo upset with my MIL...My husband just stopped inviting her places and when we don't invite her, she gets mad. Advice?
Mother in law will make lunch or dinner plans and even if we have other plans, she won’t take no for an answer. If we’re somewhere else on the day, she will call us, to ask where we are. How do I get my husband to see this is wrong?
What do you mean she wont take no for an answer? Dont give her wiggle room and don't share your plans too much. “I'm sorry we won't be able to attend, we have other plans.” Don't disclose said plabs- if she asks just say they are personal plans and you wouldn't want to share.If your husband catapults and decided to accommodate his mom- you go on ahead with the original plan. Take a friend with you or just leave and catch a movie or a dinner by yourself. There is no reason for you to keep changing plans to accommodate your mother-in-law.I'd talk to your husband and let him know that his inability to draw boundaries is leaving very little couple time for you guys. This will (most likely) not have a good effect on the repercussion. However, what boundaries he chooses to draw is absolutely his call.
Can I put my mother-in-law on my health insurance?
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Why do you think the mothers-in-law are perceived worse than father in laws?
Most father in laws are reserved in their opinions about how their daughter in laws do things. Mother in laws are mothers and like most mothers we never stop being mothers and if we see our babies are not being treated like we think they should we unfortunately will speak on it and not hold back. I have vowed never to get involved in my kids relationships. My parents didn't and I'm so glad they never did so I vow to do the same unless my babies lives are in danger. Lol
I,m fed up with my mother-in law,what to do ?she has really make my life hell?
Hi Pooja never be fed up.almost 85% of the mother-in-laws are like that.Just never give any back answers to her.Never get into arguments with her.Try to avoid such situations.Do your duty well and never give her any chance to complain.One more important thing is if u seem to be sad with her she will try to harse u more.Try to show her that you are quiet happy and she can never take it from you how hard she may try.Have patience.She will come to ur way.Good Luck.I am also travelling in the same boat.
Whenever I plan to go to my parent's house, my mother-in-law always says that you have to do lots of household chores first, finish that and then go to your parent's place. I feel as if to meet my parents I need to do lots of work. What should I do?
Looks like you are in an Indian Family. People from other countries won’t understand that in India, when a woman marries, she becomes basically a servant to her husband’s family, at least until she produces a son. When that son grows up, it is her turn to treat his wife as a servant. And so it has gone on, down the ages.So, you are correct, it’s not just a feeling, it’s the cultural expectation. Your mother-in-law is trying to show you that you ‘belong’ to your new family now, and being allowed to visit your parents is a privilege that you have to earn. Of course, when you are pregnant and just after the birth, you will probably stay with your own parents again. My advice to you is, get pregnant as soon as possible.