How do you deal with a person who constantly brings you down?
A friend of mine used to be very aggressive, with friends, colleagues and anyone she used to be with.Her constant reaction to most people would to be show them in poor light, or find mistakes in what they did. It left her surrounded by a lot of resentment, and few friends.One day, she did the same with me. Instead of reacting very aggressively, as she had got used to expecting, I simply asked her “Why do you this?”She was taken aback with calmness, and couldn’t find her footing. As I probed her further, instead of being angry, she became even more upset as the true reason came to the fore.“Aviral, I feel very insecure. I think most people are better than me, and how will I progress if I see everyone is better than me?”Translated : I am not trying to hurt you, I am only trying to protect myself.That day, I realised an important thing. Most people exhibiting this are doing it only for self preservation, and mostly never mean any harm to you (although they end up saying hurtful things).If they mean something to you, or if you are a good samaritan, talk with empathy. It will usually be an unresolved internal conflict, and you could help them resolve it.You will realise it is never about you, it is almost always about them.
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I am a constant worrier.. please help!?
Oh my life! You sound like a very busy and proud person. It sounds like you really care about yourself and your environment and how people percieve you. It does seem as though this is becoming a bit of an obsession and this may not be healthy, especially if it is causing you to lose sleep - before you know it you will be on a downward spiral and that could be disasterous. It sounds like you have a fun and exciting job and you are probably surrounded by some very colourful characters. You should not try to compete with them, either on a professional or charismatic level - instead just focus on doing the best job _you_ can and you will get noticed and rewarded for it, you obviously naturally fit in with the crowd, or you would have mentioned your relationship with your colleagues. It may help to make a prioritised list of things you need to do, so you don't have them all running around in your head. Make sure you are eating well and your last meal is no later than 8pm and at least 2 hours before you go to bed. In bed, it may help to mentally relax, by first physically relaxing - try to be mindful of the areas of your body that feel most tense then address this by stretching, tensing and releasing those muscle groups for a few minutes while you are laying in bed - this will help calm you down and make you feel more comfortable. Make sure your room is dark and quiet and open the window for a while each day to let fresh air in. Don't try to sleep with candles or incense burning - it's very dangerous. Last of all, talk to your friends about your concerns, if they are true friends they will empathise and support you. You might need to hear someone elses perspective and you may be suprised to learn about their own worries! It seems to me the older we get, the harder everything is, just give yourself a break and don't push yourself too hard - enjoy the good things in your lifestyle that are enabled by the job you do.