How to stop my sister from abusing her children?
Let me just give you a little background. We come from an Asian family, so corporal punishment was considered "normal" and "acceptable." In other words, my mom beat the hell outta us sisters while we were growing up. Plus, she used a lot of verbal abuse phrases like: "Why did I ever give birth to you" or "You worthless b****", etc... Yeah, not exactly the perfect picture family; I hate it and my sis does, too, especially since there was a period where my mom used a broomstick to beat her a lot. She told me that she'd never beat her kids like that, but lo and behold, she got two toddlers now (4 and 3 yrs old), and she beats them everyday, for the little stuffs too. Like if they spill something, she'd be super pissed and hit them. It's not normal spanking, where people just lightly hit the child's hand. This is like hitting an adult; she does it super hard, to the point where they are super scared of her now. Like whenever she raises her hand, her kids immediately cringe and cry out in fear. Also, she said this to her three-year-old today, who was jumping on the bed: "Stop jumping or I'll break your leg." Yeah, and that's not the first time she has threatened them. Furthermore, she uses her child support money to buy clothes for HERSELF. Not just normal clothes either, but expensive brands. She'd spend 200 bucks on a purse easily. Meanwhile, her kids keep wearing the same stuffs and all of their toys are bought from a thrift store. Also, let me clarify that I have tried to reasoned with her--I told her she's just being exactly the same as our mother. I even gave her articles on the negative effects of child abuse, and when she refused to read, I explained it to her in great details, but it all seems to go through one ear and out the other. She keeps telling me to shut the f*** up and let her raise her kids however she wants. I don't know what to do, I don't want to call CPS. I don't know what they'll do to her. I'm leaving for college in about a week time, and when I'm gone, I don't know how worse the situation will get. I'm thinking of secretly filming her abusing her children and using that to blackmailing her to stop treating them so badly and misusing her child support money. What do you think? Any other ideas? Please help me and two very adorable children out here. Thank you very much.
How do I deal with my sisters physically abusing me?
First of all, since you have access to the internet and you’re posting this question, find out what services are available to you in your country using keywords such as teen abuse, young adult abuse, domestic violence, sexual abuse, etc. Since I’m not sure what country you actually live in, I can’t tell you what specific services you can reach out to for help. However, the sooner you can determine who you can trust and share your concerns with, the better off you will be.If you can, document (write it down and keep it in a safe place) each incident where you have had physical/emotional/psychological encounters with your sister. Make sure you list the date, the time, and what happened.Have you been able to talk to your parents about what is going on or have they contributed to the abuse in some way by discounting or dismissing what you’ve said to them? Are they supportive of you or have they taken your sister’s side in all this? Are they even there to talk to about all this?It sounds like your sister may be bullying you because she knows you are afraid of her and that she can get what she wants from you by force, if need be. Bully’s lose their power when you stand up to them and refuse to give in to their requests. They actually have no power at all. They only project the illusion of power by intimidating and deceiving others into complying with their wishes.You don’t have to give her what she wants from you, if you don’t want to. And if you don’t want to, then you have to be willing to stand up to her and not give in. If she tries to physically harm you, then you have the right to deflect those attempts. I’m not saying hit her or retaliate in a way that will inflict bodily harm to her. However, you may want to learn how to deflect those types of assaults on your testicles. And again, where have your parents been through all this? They play a huge roll in this whole situation.Thanks for the A2A.
Visiting abusive Ex-Husband in a prison.?
I have shunned my ex husband from my life because he abused me, mistreated me, cheated on me, and on top of that, had a baby with my 18 year old sister, that’s a whole other story. So it’s been almost 2 years since I talked to him, he is currently in prison for my abuse. I felt so broken for so long and now that I’m on a path of recovery, My therapist recommended that I express my bottled up hurt to him in some form. Whether it’s, writing a letter and never sending it. In some way. So I decided I would set up a visitation. I am extremely nervous but I want to understand why he would do everything he did to me. Why would he go behind my back and cheat with my sister and lie about it. Both of them were lying to me... not to mention, my mom knew about it too. I am not sure what to say. Any advice? The visitation is tonight.
How to deal with a verbally abusive older brother?
Honey, I'm SURE you've heard the expression of "turn the other cheek", but also how very HARD that is to do. IF you could just somehow not to allow him to bother you, how NOT to allow him to get thru to you as he does. Also, with the "attention" he gets from other females just "feeds" his attitude he may be superior when of course he's NOT. He needs an attitude adjustment. He's the one who would benefit from counseling. Let a Professional tell him of his short comings, how to look at things in a different lite. Possibly speak to your parents about this, see if they could somehow persuade him to just give counseling a try as he IS disrupting the whole family, not just you. You've also mentioned you've gone thru bouts of depression yourself. I myself am on depression meds. What a world of good they are, they DO help greatly. They do take a couple wks. to fully "kick it', but when they do, they ARE well their weight in gold. I was on them for problems I too was on them for of all things also abuse!!! How great they helped me. My adult Son lost his precious 14 yr, old suddenly in a car accident just 6 doors from their own home, & I as a Mother couldn't take away their pain. I was going thru my own grief, but unable to help take away theirs. Sat in the Dr's office & just sobbed & couldn't stop, He then doubled my meds, which totally DID work FINE, I'm still on them. Possibly you too could go to your family Dr., tell him/her your situation & get the SAME help I did, It's sure worth a try...I trust ALL works out for the best...:)
Serious question: my mom has an abusive boyfriend, what do i do?
Well, my parents got a divorce a while ago, less than months after they filed for divorce, they were both out seeing other people, my mom met a guy online, and started dating, that was in december 2008. in april 2009, we moved into a new duplex away from my dad, and he moved in with us. i hated it there from the start, he drank a lot, he drank vodka, beer, and whiskey more than normal people would... in september, he got really drunk and choked her, and i witnessed it all, but i threw him out of the house and called the cops. my mom refused to press charges, and less than a week after that happened, she was seeing him again. in october, i threw him out again because he was drunk once more, then she kicked me out and is refusing to talk to me... problem is: i have a little sister living there with her, i'm worried about her, she's 14, and never leaves her room. she is too scared to go down and eat even, she only eats lunch at school, and has a small amount after school before they get home from work... is there anything i can say to my mother to try and get her to realize what she's doing? i've been trying so hard, and maybe some other peoples opinion will help... thank you all in advance, any advice is greatly appreciated.
Sister threatening me with a knife?
My sister has always been very violent and abusive, but my parents are always unwilling to deal with it, even though they KNOW, and see what she does, but they just let us "fight it out" (Translation- they let her beat me to a bloody pulp. She's 150 lbs, I'm 110, she's a whole 5 inches taller than me, so I always end up beaten black and blue in a fight) She always does little things to instigate. I was making brownies while my parents were gone shopping, and that very second, my sister shoves me aside and then when I started yelling at her, asking why she did that, she had to "unload the dishwasher". I asked her why she had to do it that very second, when I was making brownies in front of the dishwasher, and she just stood there. Then she reached into the utensils drawer and pulled out a freaking butcher knife, and started running her finger on the edge, smiling and saying "I could kill you with this. I could kill you so easily with this." and then mimed a stabbing motion at me. I turned and ******* ran towards my room and locked myself in, and called my parents. They told me to just stay in my room and "avoid a fight." She's 18. I'm 16. She's more than ******* old enough to know not to pull a knife on someone. She was always abusive before, but now she's threatening to kill me with a knife. I know my parents will just brush it off, but I don't know what to do anymore
What should I do? My sister has been dating this guy for 5 months and she’s cutting me out of her life and I feel left out. We used to be so close.
Why is your sister cutting you out? If she’s cutting you out because you’ve had an argument, then well, that needs to be dealt with.But if her behaviour has changed because of her new boyfriend, then that relationship is unhealthy. Isolation is a common tactic for a domestic abuser. If someone has alienated their family and all their friends, then they have no idea where to go to for help when things get worse. Check out the wheel of violence and see if anything else sounds similar to your sister’s situation.Violence Wheel - Domestic ViolenceWhat do you do? Stay open to friendship. Continue to make efforts, even if she’s rebuffing them. Let her know regularly - not in a harassing or stalkerish way - that you care about her. Make sure that if/when her world crashes around her, she knows you’ll be there for her.I don’t think it’s a good idea to tell your sister that you think her boyfriend is abusive. He may not be. It’s very hard to see a couple of lines online and see exactly what’s going on. And it could alienate her further. But I’m not really sure how to proceed. Familiarise yourself with the signs of domestic violence, keep the lines of communication and friendship open, find out what resources there are in your area for victims of domestic violence, if there’s a local hotline, ring it and ask for advice.At the end of the day, if your sister is an adult, then she’s allowed to make her own decisions, even if they’re harmful for her. You can’t make her leave this guy. You can just make sure you’re there for her when she needs you.