How do I deal with a sister-in-law who ignores me?
It’s unfortunate but true that you can’t “make” others like you. It’s unlikely you can change her personality - and it’s probably a waste of time trying to figure out what, if anything, she has against you - but you can try to change the dynamic.Was your husband raised in a large family and you in a small family? That could be part of the difference in approach.Using resources - e.g., kitchen utensils while working in the kitchen - can often be viewed as helpful behavior using common tools, with people from large families more likely to just pitch in without asking. Sure it would be great if she said “which bowl may I use?” or “do you have a paring knife?” before using your carving knife on the vegetables, but if she’s going after tools or implements you would prefer she not use why not be proactive and say “oh, the red bowl would be better for that…let me get it.” If you gently and consistently redirect her away from the things you would prefer she not use she may get the idea of asking.Or just move the “good stuff” to higher cabinets so she chooses things you don’t mind her using that are easier to find.Next, where is it written you need to give presents? You might ask your husband about how gift-giving was handled in his family and find you’re creating an obligation she isn’t used to. Sure she should thank for presents, but perhaps giving up gift-giving is an option that removes that tension.As to your husband “not seeing anything wrong” it’s quite possible his sister has always been like this so it’s normal to him. Asking your husband to tell his sister to “stay out of the kitchen” or “say thank you for gifts” is likely to cause more hard feelings rather than less, particularly if she’s an older sister.You need to enforce your own boundaries. Say it with love, say it with humor, say it with a smile, but instead of stewing say “We really love having you over, and I’d like to make your stay comfortable. Please ask me if you need anything and I’ll be happy to show you where things are.”You may need to say it every time, but eventually she’ll likely get the drift.Finally, on your SIL ignoring you, you’ll just need to remain friendly and try to engage her. Find out from your husband about his sister’s interests, and try to ask her questions. People tend to warm up to those who show an interest in them, so if you make a bit of effort to engage her on topics with which she’s comfortable it may get her to open up.Thank you to OK for the A2A and best of luck!
Why does my sister-in-law ignore me?
Obviously, she doesn’t like you and is being passive-aggressive. Greet her pleasantly and then ignore her. Instead of asking her if she would like a cup of tea or a coffee or whatever, say to all assembled, “Who would like a cup of tea or coffee?” If she doesn’t respond, that’s her tough luck. In other words, address the group and leave it to her to decide whether she wants to be part of the group or invisible to you. Do not let her know that her passive-aggression bothers you in the least. When she leaves, smile broadly and say, “Thanks for visiting!” It will irritate the hell out of her to be ignored.
Why my sister-in-law hates me?
I'll try to answer your question in the simplest of ways.In every family there is a power struggle and especially in women because they feel the need to exercise some sort of control . Now this is because women in general don't enjoy much power within the family in general due to our forms of family structures. For a mother or a sister their way of exercising power is the closeness they have to their son or brother respectively. He is the person they can share their thoughts with or can have their say in his matters. What happens after marriage is that there is a sudden change in the family dynamics where there is a new female who for obvious reasons has more proximity to the person and due to this sudden change some women feel their importance being lost or threatened and therefore there is a change in the behaviour.All you can do is try to talk to her and make her understand about it which is going to be really tough but if she isn't ready to understand then it will be really tough to get into terms with her. But as they say, time changes people.Best of luck
My sister-in-law wont let me babysit my nephew and I don't know why?
I am a registered nurse with years of prior experience taking care of infants in a childcare facility. When my sister-in-law gave birth to my nephew a few months ago, her mother encouraged her to have me help her with the baby while she recovered and also to babysit him so she could take care of errands and go to her appointments. I told her that I would love to help her. She seemed a little uneasy but fine with it to my face, but since then has told other people in the family that she doesn't feel safe leaving the baby with me - but she has left him with other members of the family on multiple occasions. Since the baby was born she has been keeping an online log of who visits the baby and his daily activities for him to have when he is older and also so out-of-town family will know what he does each day. I've noticed that she never records my visits to see my nephew. She will thank every single other person for coming that was there at the same time as me, but not me. It's like I was never there. I don't know if that means anything? As far as I know, she has no reason to dislike me. I have noticed in the past that despite her and I being the same age, she likes to talk down to me and boss me like I'm a child. She seems to think she is "more adult" than me since she is married and has a child. (I know that sounds silly, but she does come off that way.) (I am engaged, in case that matters to someone answering.) Anyways, I really just want to know how you'd feel in this situation? Would you be offended? Would you say anything to her about it? Thanks.
How would you handle a toxic mother-in-law & sister-in-law?
Most of us never dream that one day we will have toxic in-laws to deal with. When we first think about getting married, the idea of joining two families together is very exciting. You can't wait to say "I do" and officially have new parents who you want to call "mom and dad".Unfortunately, not everyone is able to experience a joyous blending of two families and often find themselves frustrated and angry at certain aspects and interactions with their in-laws.This can be very hard to deal with, and disappointing. When in-laws start to become a negative aspect of your life, that is when it is getting toxic. Relationships with in-laws are quite complicated.Every family is different in terms of the type of relationship people have with their in-laws, but the idea of acceptance seems to be common throughout. If you have a wonderful relationship with your in-laws and like them a lot, consider yourself lucky! That is not the story for many people, however.It is important to be able to spot the signs of having toxic in-laws so you know how to address the issue.Signs of Toxic In-Laws1. They are overly involved in your decisions2. They try to turn you and your significant other against you3. Your privacy as a couple is not respected4. They say negative things about you to your significant other5. They ignore you6. They make insulting commentsSolution to Toxic In-Laws1. Always remember that you and your significant other are a team2. Both you and your spouse address issues to your own parents; don't confront the in-laws3. Take appropriate space when needed4. Set boundaries5. Don't insult your in-laws in front of your spouse; be respectful No matter what, it is important to remember that you and your significant other are a unit, and should be united together as your own family.It is important to take care of yourself if you have toxic in-laws, which ultimately help protect the relationship from harm that could arise if you did not take steps to address it appropriately.I created a video that goes much more in depth about this question, and I think it will be helpful for you. Please feel free to watch when you get a chance. :)
My sister in law is living with us for 6 months, pays no room or board. am i wrong to be annoyed?
at first i was dreading the fact that my husband's younger sister was coming from their home country to stay with us for 6 months. (she's in her mid/late 20s like us). i thought she would be very difficult to deal with. however, the visit has been very nice. she is not too talkative or friendly, but she has been very pleasant, and i have tried to be a good sis in law to her. she is working a minimum wage job just for some spending money so i don't expect her to pay rent or anything. she spends all of her money on clothes and beauty products. i don't mind this, except when we go out to eat. she never pays for her food. last month we had to go out to eat very often because our building was damaged and we didn't have space to cook, i tried to order low priced items, but she would order expensive things that she didn't even end up liking. plus, we suffered thousands of dollars of damages, and the little money we got, my husband shared some with her. everything is taken care of for her (rides to work, school, meals, etc), i just don't know how to tell her she needs to offer up some money, at least for the 'luxuries'. i'm the in law and the primary breadwinner, so i think that's why this irks me the most. i'm not her momma!
My sister in law hates me?
I am an only child and was so excited to have a sister in law. But she doesnt like me - and I dont know why. She refused to be my bridesmaid, didnt go out to my bachellorette (sp?) party, and when she was in town (she lives in another country) she knew I planned her visit so that I would have NOTHING to do for 4 days and she didnt hang out with me, when I vistied my in-laws for the first time it took her 6 days to come over to meet me (and she lived a few blocks away), and other reasons i suspect this.... My husband says its not that she doesnt like me, its just that she has an "unfriendly mentality." Anyway, how do I fix this? I am flying overseas for 10 days for her wedding soon.
How do I deal with sister in law who hates me?
Always only an insecure person behaves in a mean and irrational manner.If your sister in-law is one of them, you need to feel sorry for her. Since you can notice her mean and cheap behavior, you are definitely in a better position. If you know she is back biting you can't swoop down to the same level once you know it's not the done thing.It's not always tit for tat. Smile off her insults, better still laugh at yourself. Take away her weapons to hurt you. Let her back bite to her heart's content, respond only to her and let her know very firmly when she trespasses to your territory.Don't encourage people who carry tales to you. Tell them in no uncertain terms that we shouldn't talk behind a person's back. People who volley don't have a stand. They may carry back tales from you.If you have heard and it hurts you go face to face and without anger confront that person. Remember you should not involve your spouse you should just stand on your feet and without raising your voice give it back!