What to do about a narcissistic mother?
Tonight I finally pieces everything together. My mother is a narcissistic mother. It's damaging me, because I am the scapegoat. She has my dad wrapped around her finger, constantly manipulating him. He's afraid of her. I plan on talking to him about her very soon, and seeing what he thinks. I also plan on pretty much ignoring her. I won't let her get to me anymore. I'm done. What else can I do? I'm only 15, and can't leave. She uses explicit control, basically I do EXACTLY as she says or she takes everything I have and punishes me. Someone please help I can't live with her for another 3 years
Is my mother a narcissistic?
From what you have described about your mother she sounds very controlling and self-centered. My mother always put me down to my siblings and would put my siblings on a pedestal to me. she also would compare something in her life if I was talking about mine. She was very mentally & physically abusive to us as children. I never liked her and left when I was 16-I spent my adult years staying away from her until she got dementia. I did help out when she was in a memory home-she died 3 years ago and I do not miss her as she was never a mother. I suggest you have a honest talk with her and if that doesn't work, stay away from her .
How should i handle my mother who is a narcissist?
thank you all so very much for your replies. you have no idea what it means to me that so many have responded to my question. i have always felt so alone and isolated with my thoughts and feelings about my mother...it's almost "taboo" in society to speak negatively about your own mother, but she has left me no choice. i am taking a lot of your advice now: i quit working for her and started another job on my own, i have not spoken to her at all in 5 months and don't plan on going back to that relationship, my boyfriend and i are planning to move from here and start over elsewhere, i am in close contact with my aunt who is supportive and has given me many books on narcissism to read...you are all so very wise and i respect everyone's input. it will be hard to make a decision as to who has given the best answer! thank you again, so very much...
My narcissistic mother (very, very long)?
Frank Homes commented: "you ungrateful trollop". I have to say Frank, I am in no way an "ungrateful trollop" as you so eloquently put it. I wonder if you would have put up with as much as I have. Especially when your mother gloats to you that when you were a baby and you wouldn't eat she would sit on you and force feed you. She has done many other horrendous things which I won't go into here but I would just like to say thank you to those who gave Frank a thumb down. I really appreciate the answers so far and will wait for a few more before I choose my best answer. Thanks
How to deal with my narcissistic mother (long)?
my mother has recently been diagnosed as Narcissistic. The diagnosis was delivered to her ex husband (my father) during his treatment following their joint marriage counseling. She is unaware of this diagnosis as far as i am aware. I live in the same town as her, and up until a few months ago we have shared a long and loving relationship. She has always been a self absorbed woman, and quite a handful when i was growing up, but she's my mother and i love her dearly. Up until recently i was unaware just how high maintenance she really is. Last year she went on anti-depressants, and the world opened up. She was happy, considerate, sweet, enjoyable and fun. Our friendship bloomed like i could never imagine. She was an attentive grandma to my first born child, and we all enjoyed eachothers company. This lasted approx 9mths. Then my mother took herself off her anti-depressant medication. The week following, her entire personality has done a back flip. She no longer listens shows no respect for peoples boundaries shows no consideration overrides conversations ignores requests (e.g. asking her to speak quietly as my baby was falling asleep, so she yelled at me "Maybe i'm not in a quiet mood, did you ever think of that?! you never think of anyone but yourself!") and so on. She is back to the high maintenance person she was before she went on medication. Since having "a holiday" from the Narcisstic Tendancies, i no longer wish to go back to being the over indulgent, forgiving, always the blame, daughter. My sister has chosen to distance herself completely from my mother. No visits, phone calls or email. She is not interested in "doing the dance" with mum. My brother has chosen to only have a phone call once a month with mum as if he talks to her more frequently than that he gets highly stressed and begins to have panic attacks. I want to have a close relationship with my mother.. but i don't know how to go about creating a healthy relationship with her where i don't feel like a victim or feel overly stressed after each time i see her. How do i approach this situation? How do i establish boundaries?
Why is my mom so narcissistic?
If we go to restaurant she will spend the whole time taking pictures and deleting them over and over. She will make us take pictures then make comments that we don't look good. My sisters birthday was a few days ago and she told my sister to change her clothes and then said her hair was disgusting and that the pictures weren't going to go on Facebook. My sisters hair is falling out she has bald patches and my mom thinks it's disgusting and tells her. I could tell my sister wanted to cry. My mom was acting like it was her birthday instead a spoiled brat having her birthday. She is so judgmental about other women and points every one out and says they are ugly. Everytime we go out!!!! It's like she's jealous about everything. She says I'm too pretty to wear just a t-shirt and jeans and she's jealous of me. Yet she degrades my sister for being overweight in public. My sister loves fashion more than me. My mother doesn't like it. She tells people how fat she is like it's normal to say. The people never speak up and I started to cry one day. She thinks I'm stupid and useless because I don't go to school anymore. I have really bad social anxiety she doesn't understand. My mom has gone to therapy but she likes it for the attention and will talk about how sad she is to other people. Like wtf I hate it so much. While she makes everyone around her sad. She dates horrible men.
How should a daughter deal with a narcissistic mother?
I am assuming you’re the scapegoat daughter, because the golden child would likely not be asking this question.I was raised by a narc mother and co-dependent father. My parents are my mom +1. My dad, after 30 years of marriage with my mother, is no longer his own person.I am one of their 3 children, the eldest, and the scapegoat. My brother (middle child) and I were the scapegoats, while my youngest sister was the golden child.The first thing you need to do is mourn the loss of a mother you never had. You might have a “fantasy mother” in your mind. I did for 28 years. I didn’t accept that my mother was a narc until this year, after recovering from narcissistic abuse from romantic relationships. I did a lot of soul searching and realized I had a blueprint in me, designed for me to be an empathetic, co-dependent sufferer. It was the most painful experience of my life, to accept the person my mother is, to work through childhood memories I had been suppressing. Going to a good therapist regularly is crucial here.How do you “deal” with your narcissist mother? You don’t. That’s the sad, heartbreaking truth. There is nothing you can do to change her or to change the situation you were born into. No one gets to choose their parents. She is the person that she is. She was this person long before you were even born. You have to accept that she will never change and you should be “dealing” with her as minimally as possible.In my case, I moved 2,000 miles away and have limited contact with my parents. I forgave my mother, even though she has never admitted to being wrong, has never apologized to me, and even though she will never change. But forgiving her doesn’t mean I need to “deal” with her anymore. I had to deal with her as a child and young adult, when I depended on her for my every need, but I don’t need to deal with her any longer. I “deal” with her by not letting her hurt or manipulate me anymore.You have to “deal” with your narcissist mother by not allowing her to hurt or manipulate you anymore. That might mean moving far away, having limited contact or even no contact. There is no other way to deal with her.