What do white American guys think of black American guys dating white American girls?
I wrote this before I read anybody else’s answers. I guess everybody has been incredibly lucky or blessed to have nonjudgmental people in their lives. I don’t know what happened with my mostly-liberal family, but that race thing is really a trigger to some of them.My brother was—and continues to be—horrified by anybody I was dating who wasn’t white. Male or female, it didn’t matter. Black, Puerto Rican, Filipino, Nigerian, American…it was all wrong to him. Many years later, I had a mixed-race daughter (her father is black). I named her Ashanti, which to me was simple and beautiful, and also a name to be proud of. To this day my family pronounces her name wrong. “Ashantay.” Almost 21 years and they still call her by the wrong name. My oldest sister tried calling her “Ashley.” I said, “Ashley? Who’s Ashley?” They all have this idea (they say) that I was trying to be fancy and French, which is why they pronounce it with a long a instead of a long e. GRRR. I explain to them that in French the letter “i” is never pronounced like a long “a,” but it makes no difference.This really does have a lot to do with the original question. My white brothers tried to reason with me. When reasoning didn’t work, they began to ask me why I always had to go with black men. When I went to African World Fest in Milwaukee, they asked why I wasn’t going to Germanfest instead. They accused me of being trashy. They called me ghetto. And then I went and had this mixed race kid with an African name that they assumed was my idea of a stereotypical “black name,” and so deserving of no respect. In my experience, there are some very insecure white guys out there who hate to see a white woman “ruining herself” by dating outside the color lines. Fortunately, they’ve been the exception.PS: For a beautiful book about a family of mixed-race kids (with a white Orthodox Jewish mother and a black father) in the early 60s and 70s, you should check out James Mcbride’s The Color Of Water.
How do I get over my insecurities about my skin color?
I have really dark skin and as a child I was teased about it. Growing up even in high school there were times when i would be made fun of because of how dark my skin was. Being an African American women beauty is approached differently. However, i can't really see my beauty with my skin being so dark as it is. yea I get hit on by guys but I think that's only because of the clothing i'm wearing at the moment( I never wear skanky clothing btw just very nice clothing). I do believe that in most cases beauty is only skin deep but I just can't get passed how dark I am and it scares me to continue to still think this way after all these years. Im only 21 but I really need some advice. =(
My sister is prettier than me and it's killing my self-esteem. What should I do?
I should go ahead and say my sister is also prettier than me. And it used to give me a bitter taste in my mouth.I am the youngest one in my family, and as siblings, we look after each other. Well, normally the elder ones were in charge and had the responsibility to protect and provide the younger.So since I was a child, I was bitchy and demanding and I wanted things to go my way, including people’s affection.Everything went well my way for first couple years of my life, until I came to an age to realize who is the prettiest of all. I still tried to fool myself that I was still the best, and the most beautiful, and that’s why I am my mom’s favorite child. But that trick did not work so well with outsiders.My sister is astonishingly beautiful and everyone liked her. All the boys in schools and college. She had many male friends came to the house and hung out. Some of them were handsome too. And all of their attention went to my sister.I didn’t take that so well.I was jealous with her look. I tried to get people’s attention. I hoped my sister’s male friends liked me more than her. When they were trying to talk to my sister, I jumped into the conversation and started talking, trying to make them like me.I pretended that I didn’t care about her followers. I also acted mean to my sister. I hated the fact that I had no follower while she had a bunch of them. I hated the fact that she didn’t need to try so hard but people still liked her. I hated that she was a ball of joy, while I was grumpy the whole time.I wish I could tell you somehow I figured it out and I started to treat her well, but in fact I didn’t. Not until I grew up and I managed to nurture myself and my self-esteem.My sister is still breathtakingly beautiful, but she didn’t have a good marriage. She divorced and is a single mom while I am living happily with my husband. I feel sad for her.You see, if you love yourself enough, you will not need to worry about people’s affection. And you will not even care about the look. It is not about how pretty you are, but it is about how happy you are.Enjoy your time with your sister, feel happy for her pretty look while you still can. And DO NOT think about yourself as the uglier, which reduces your self-esteem as you are doing right now. Focus on what you have, build your confidence and knowledge.You are loved. You are pretty. And you know it.It starts with you.
My Biracial kid's insecurity?
My daughter is a biracial kid im black and her dad is creole my daughter is only 4 and when we go to a family reunion she'll say i don't look like them or i look different. I feel really bad because I know how she feels I'm really light green eyes orange hair and my family is darker skinned tone what should i do she doesnt want to go to daycare because of her looks. And i find it funny because a lot of people say shes beautiful or i hope my kid look like that and she so insecure. me and my sister: http://i682.photobucket.com/albums/vv183/Nannop/l_11dd6fa0f237259675ed79eee6fe7d8b.jpg my daughter: http://i682.photobucket.com/albums/vv183/Nannop/l6KZuyx6LvKEx5zkVYCHD6xWGnZC6sye-1.jpg
Why do some people hate biracial kids?
Sadly, that's an unwelcomed effect of two people from different races in love. I'm a white man, and my wife is black, and our family has had our fair share of racist comments. It's one thing when it's directed at you, but when it's at your children, that's a knife that cuts deeper then anything that could ever be said about you. But I raised my children to expect that, so when it happened, it would not be such a shock to them. It would not affect who they are. Life is not fair. I wish it was, but it's not. It's not fair by the circumstance of their birth, just because my wife and I love each from different racial backgrounds, that *they* are the ones targeted. You have to be...at a pretty low place in your own life to attack the race of a 6 year old. I think you're doing a great job as the older sibling. I can only say that my children had to, more or less, grow up sooner then what other kids did because we *had* to teach them that are racists in the world. They *will* judge you based on your race, but you can't let that get to you. You know who you are, you know that your family and friends love you, and you can't let the naysayers of the world tear you down. The best "revenge," so to speak, is to be happy and succeed, when others expect you to fail. My children have been told before they aren't, "black enough," just like they have been told their white is "diluted." Again, it's not fair, but life isn't either. This is going to be a transition time in your siblings lives where they will learn that. It's a hard lesson to learn, especially at such a young age, but some people have to learn it sooner then others, if only for social survival If I could, I would love to have put my children in a bubble and protect them from all those comments, but as a parent, (or an older sibling), you can't do that, because that leaves unprepared and naïve for how the real world is. You can only prepare them, instill in them that they are more then the sum of their race, and to never let others define who you are. You will die a miserable human being trying to fit the different standards of every person you met. But if all you have to meet is your standards, then all you have to worry about is pleasing yourself, not 7 billion other people
Are you the black sheep of the family?
Yep, proudly.Granted, the majority of “family” that I know to any real degree is my father’s side. Conservative, country/redneck, Stout Republicans (my father’s mother worked for the Republican party her entire career, 40+ yrs), Christian(lip-service wise anyways), status seeking, money oriented(do what the family pays you to do) and greedy(it’s okay to screw over people as long as you get money). Strict gender roles were to be observed(breed, go to church, be quiet, do as your man says, get married), competing with the “Joneses’” was encouraged( have a better house/car/etc. even if you were broke), as was keeping up appearances and not deviating from the norm.I was informed of my “black sheep” status when I was 18 at a family reunion by being placed at the “undesireables” table.To those on here that know me, that right there would have been enough to explain it. But I will clarify.Reasons I am a black sheep:I was raised by my mother after the divorce to “her hippie views”I am the only one in my generation to NOT have a child out of wedlock by the time I was 18.I was the only one of my generation to go to college and pass my classes.I refused to consider the potential husbands chosen for me.I refused to get a status career.I refused to give up my “manly” interests and abilities or play “damsel in a dress”I refused to dress in the family approved mannerI refused to be less independent.I refused to shun, disparage, or put down certain types of people. In their words “You talk to them coloreds, foreigns and gays?”I dye my hair, every and any color of the rainbow, and have for decadesI refuse to do as they tell me for money. I will not kiss ass or show up for a paycheck from them for events.I refuse to be spied on by their friends.I refuse to be ashamed for not fitting their mold for me.In short, I refuse to fit their mold of what a woman in my family should be. And instead of cowering or hiding or being insecure because I lack their approval, I mock (I’m not always a good person) or do my own thing regardless. Straight, childless, unmarried, punk, friends of different backgrounds, colors, sexual options, gender identities, etc. = black sheep.So while I am the disowned family black sheep, I am also my own person, who likes who I am.Besides, black is a complimentary color on me.