How to overcome fear of approaching women?
I have this problem approaching girls that I want to meet. For some reason I attract a lot of girls now that I workout and diet. Not really cocky guy but I model myself after Channing Tatum because I admire how the ladies love him. I was kind of the dorky jock in high school so I wasn't really good at talking to girls. I am afraid to approach even if they are making very obvious they find me attractive. How can I overcome this fear. I set a small goal today which was to say hi to as many pretty girls but chickened out because I got so nervous that and couldn't speak. It is my goal to finally overcome this because I am tired of being scared and want to be brave and be that guy that people admire for not being afraid of talking to girls, a lot majority of guys these days are afraid of talking to girls but I want to separate myself from them and become a better me. I fixed up my body now its time to workout my social skills and overcome more obstacles.
How can a woman overcome vaginismus (the fear of penetration)?
I was diagnosed with vaginismus when I was about 17. It is a HORRIBLE thing to have, and patience and kindness and understanding and empathy towards the sufferer are essential. I was over it almost completely up until recently, and then I was re-traumatised by a very negligent MALE gynecologist. Now I am at the point where I cant tolerate a gyno exam, back to square one after 21 years (im 38 now). But I dont have a problem with sex. It is a condition that can vary from woman to woman. Some women cant tolerate anything penetrating them, some women have "situational vaginismus" (im one of them) where it is just certain penetrations that cant be tolerated. Anyway, to answer your question. There are loads of websites about this subject. The most common form of therapy appears to be "dilators" (look it up). Time and patience are key factors when trying to overcome this. And may I direct you to the "vaginismus awareness network" (google it). A brilliant website, written by fellow sufferers, with an online forum that you can join too (I am a member myself. May I wish you the best of luck.
How can I overcome my fear of intimacy?
Issues with intimacy arise when the person has not had a healthy emotional relationship with his mother (or father, if the person in question is a girl/woman). If the parent of the opposite gender is too loving (smothering), the person will most likely grow up to be too clingy and dependent on others for fulfillment of basic emotional necessities. They will constantly seek attention and will expect appreciation for everything they do. They expect their actions and feelings to be approved by others. On the other hand, if the parent was too uncaring or cold in the child's formative years, the child will most likely grow up to be cold and insensitive too. They will find loving and getting close to others very difficult. They probably will not make good team players and don't have many good friendships that last long. They find it hard to trust others and will develop a sense of apathy. The only way to cure that is by letting people get close. It will be difficult and your heart will most likely be broken on more than one occasion, but when it works out..it will worth all the trouble you underwent. Good luck.
How can I get over the fear of talking to beautiful women?
Thanks for requesting my answer! I find it so nice that on Quora can request you to answer things, that kinda makes me feel like what i have to say is worth some attention ^_^.Now, I completely agree with Nina on the comments below her tip is quite valuable.Before anything do you understand where your fear comes from? Did something happen to you that made you scared of talking to woman? ask yourself those questions, and try to understand where it comes from. Was it a traumatic event in your past? or maybe you never manage to do that before?Most people are scared of talking to beautiful people (please notice i changed it to PEOPLE because this fear is genderless! i’ve seen men scared of talking to other men/women and women scared of talking to other men/women) mostly because they idealize that, just because they are beautiful, they are cooler, more worth of attention, they are better people etc.That is somewhat a form of a white bias, or a good prejudice if you think about it, in which you form an idea in your head that, such individual is a person worth of your time, for whatever reason.“Never judge a book for it’s cover”Why do you think someone who is good looking would treat you any different from those around you who treat you in a good way? isn’t that a little bit… illogical?What reason does that “beautiful person” would have to turn you down if that person does not know you yet?If that person heard something about you beforehand, in that case she could be interested in not knowing you better… But if you stop to think about that, if that person already formed an oppinion based on a rumor about you… is that person really worth your attention? I personally think… no.On getting to know new people, i usually try to figure out what their interests are, and dwell on that while talking. This works most of the time. Sometimes what works is to show her that you really care about her existance (never, EVER lie about that, make sure your words match your attitude and your thougths!). Pay attention to what she’s saying, with short comments in between her pauses, and try to build bridges between topics to keep the conversation flowing.Did i help?If so, get out there and TALK to them :D
Pick-Up Artists: How do I overcome my fear of approaching women at bars and the fear of rejection that possibly comes with that?
I used to have tons of approach anxiety and two things have worked really well for me. The first thing is to just start casual conversations with everyone wherever you are (not franticially, but consistently). Talk to men and women, old people and young people, people you think are ugly, people who smell bad, even people who look like they just might be a little crazy. You don't have to talk very long. Better to leave the conversation early then to linger until it feels awkward or forced. Even if the conversation consists of you saying one thing, and them never responding, that's okay. If they don't want to talk to strangers, that's a choice you should respect. Besides, you can just go talk to the next person. Then by the time you see someone you're attracted to, they'll just be one more person you're talking to as you go through your day.If you do this you will become someone who just likes to talk to people. You'll talk to lots of different people. You'll be a more interesting person for all the people you've met, and you'll be at ease starting conversations with strangers, even attractive ones. It helps with fear of rejection because now you're just opening the next conversation. It also makes you more comfortable being social, which makes you more attractive. The second thing is a mental frame that every approach is just practice for the next approach. I discoverd this mindset after I went surfing for the first time. When you're a beginner, trying to catch a wave is both scary and hard. You try and fail, try and fail, try and get slammed hard by a huge wave (seriously painful). Then finally you catch a wave. All the sudden your board is unbelivable smooth and stable, like you're standing on a table. You ride it into the beach and when you turn around you see wave after wave coming in. You realize that this is what life is like. Whatever you're doing, there's always another chance: another wave, another woman, another bar, another night. You hope to catch a good one and go with it as long as is possible. But eventually everything comes to an end. And when it does, all you're supposed to do is paddle back out and try again.