How to deal with selfish bad neighbours?
My neighbours have built a deck that looks over our 6 foot high fence. We now have no privacy in our yard. They are both drunks and come out in the morning drinking beer and if we are in our yard they talk to us. They also lean shovels, and boards against the fence between our yards (which they didn't pay for) and recently they have hung a ten-speed bike up by it's handlebars over the fence. Here's the kicker. ..Apparently they didn't get a permit to do this and were visited by a city inspector (HAHAHAHA) but the city inspector told them they can KEEP their horrible deck IF they get our permission. So the onus is on US to tell them to take their deck down. They've already put two months work into it, in fact it's almost finsihed. We're moving in about 2 months, but our real estate agent told us we may have difficulty seling our house with this deck looking into our backyard. How do we be the bad guy here? we're worried they make get into a punching match with us if we say no.
Neighbors with loud children?
We live in what would seemingly be a quiet neighborhood with large, secluded, wooded lots. We have neighbors that have 6 or 7 kids. Another neighbor told us that they're Protestant Reformed and this has something to do with the large family. I realize kids need to play and be kids, but there are a couple of them that scream at the top of their lungs constantly. I do mean constantly. They're outside all day from morning until after dark screaming. My guess is that it is for attention. With that many kids how could one possibly ensure that each gets enough attention? It has disrupted many many evenings and sunny Saturdays. Again, the important part is that It is not just for an hour or two - it is all day. I envision that their mom kicks them out of the house, closes windows and doors and throws on her ipod and enjoys her peace. I can't see their yard so I really have no idea if they're supervised by a parent or turned over to an older sibling. This is the interesting part - Most people look at me like I'm crazy when I mention that these kids are bothersome, until they stop by for a visit. Then they make comments like "they sound like wild animals" and "I could not stand this constant yelling." The people that make these comments are parents themselves. We've never met these neighbors and I fear writing a respectful note or paying a visit would do nothing but cause retaliation. If your response is just going to be "get over it" please don't bother. Like I said I understand that kids need to be kids, but this is a neighborhood and other people live here and I think there should be limits. It's not a park or campground and allowing screaming all day long seems rude. On a side note we have 2 large beautiful parks within less than a mile, they could easily load them up. I've considered a radio to help drown them out but then I'm just adding to the noise. Is a respectful note even feasible? Would it just ensure retaliation? I know if I were bothering someone and received a respectful note ("respectful" being the key word) - I would feel bad that I've caused someone grief.
Living on Military Base - weird neighbors?
I am a military wife of 17 years - I live off base almost every time, not sure where you are living, but in the U.S. it is better for a young family like you to live on base for financial reasons. If you were working it might be feasible. The reasons you listed are exactly the reasons why we don't live on the base. The best thing to do is always be cordial to people around you - never snotty. Don't give out any personal information (this also goes for people that don't live by you). You never know who will come in contact with you husbands superiors and its best for them not to know your personal business - trust me. Never talk about you husband's job. My husband and I don't talk to anyone about personal things - if my husband needs to vent about work - its to me only and I don't tell anyone - ever. Also limit the time you spend with them. When you are with friends you can talk about general things and nothing that could bite you in the butt later. As for the wierdness - just be kind and do what you need to do - they are your children, its your family and when your nice...what can they say.