Why does my dad still tell me mean things about my mom even though they are divorced?
People who are in a frustrating situation, or a conflict which they do not see a way to resolve, often judge things in the most distorted and seemingly unreasonable and unfair of ways.It is likely that your father is extremely frustrated or angry or hurt by your mother— or perhaps I should say, it seems likely he is feeling some of the things we mean by these words, because of the situation.In such circumstances, human being often take their difficulties and situations, and pin or project them onto the other people in the situation. This is easy: it takes all the negatives and blames them on the other person (persons, in difficult situations other than marriage or divorce) and provides an easy target and blame (“scapegoat”) for the negatives.Often, but not always, it serves as a mechanism for avoiding one’s own failures or contribution, and feeling good about oneself.Equally often in life, as with so many other things, one merely believes such things as “the truth” and “objective reality,” without noticing that others may have very different viewpoints — yet at the same time, one wants others to share one’s thoughts and viewpoints.And thus, mean things are often said, but they don’t necessarily seem mean to the person saying them, they seem vitally necessary and true— sometimes, sadly and terribly so, because the person who says them, cannot tolerate having them contradicted or challenged.You thus describe a highly difficult and charged situation. A parental separation may be the worst of such, but many close and intimate human relationships often display such dynamics when there is conflict. Business, work and personal relationships all too, may be subject to such all-too human problems.Not knowing more, I wish the OQ and her or his parents the best of luck, in negotiating the mazes of such problems.
Why does my mom hate my dad even though my dad is rich?
Money is not a reason to love or hate a person. The relationship between your mother and father is not about money. Although if they argue you may hear them arguing about money adults are strange. We argue about money, kids, dogs, cars but the real problem is about our feelings being hurt. You know when your dad or mom says something to you and you feel bad inside? Well that happens with adults too. And just like you we don’t say anything when someone makes us feel bad. But then we may have a disagreement about money and all those feelings we kept in earlier come bursting through the door of our mouth and it sounds like we are upset about money. So, try not to get caught up in your mom and dad’s arguments or think you know what is going on between them. You can’t know, in fact, they probably don’t understand it themselves. Just be the best kid you can be for yourself. Don’t let them put you in the middle either. No matter what happens speak up and say “I love my dad and I love you, Its not fair that you want me to take sides.” or “I love my mom and I love you, I’m not taking sides.”
Does my mom even love me?
I'm so sorry you're going through this.Most likely, your mother does love you. The problem is that even parents who love their children can be verbally and physically abusive to them. Some "loving parents" with anger management issues have even killed their own children.Whether your mother loves you or not is not the most important question to ask. The reason why she's abusive to you also doesn't really matter.What matters is that you're not safe living with your mother. Even though you're going to be living on campus in September, you're still going to be UNSAFE for a couple of months and every time you visit your mom. You can not assume you're okay just because you don't have physical bruises. Most people end up with emotional scars from dealing with abuse.I very strongly suggest that you report the abuse and get help. You're not just getting help for yourself and your father, but you're also getting help for your mother. Even if your mother can explain her abusive behavior, it doesn't really mean that she has control of her anger management issues. It doesn't guarantee that she would not end up hurting or killing someone.Childhelp National Child Abuse Hotline: Contact them at 1.800.4.A.CHILD (1-800-422-4453). They're available 24/7.
I made my mom really mad. Now she won't even talk to me. What can I do to make it better?
Try to fix what you did or somehow make amends. Write to her and tell her how you feel, how much she is upsetting you with her silence. Tell her that her silence is pushing you away and not solving anything. Ask her if she wants you to leave home and never see you again. Even if this is not what you want, it lets her know that if she doesn’t relent, it really is what could happen! Hopefully, she will come to her senses and try to work things out with you. A parent should never use emotional blackmail on their kids, so using it on her is fair play, I think.
Why do I hate when my mom sings?
If she can't sing on tune, there's your answer.Sort of.But it's always more complex than that, isn't it?I am going to assume that you are between the ages of 10 and 18. And, for most people in that age bracket, we get to a point where pretty much EVERYTHING our parents do, we hate. Even if, 6 months, or a year ago, we loved them. There's a good reason for that. Your main job, as you grow up, is to get to the point where you will be comfortable moving out on your own. And hating every.single.thing that your parents do is one way that your brain prepares you for that.How do I know this? A)I was a teenager who hated it when my mom sang. My mom had a wonderful voice, was a soloist in the church choir, but still, her singing was an embarrassment and a torture to my ears. Until it became welcome again, as she sang to my babies.I have four kids, all of whom went through adolescence. I was lucky enough to inherit my mom's voice. Never sang in a church choir, but, when the kids were little, they BEGGED me to sing. As they got older, they BEGGED me not to sing. Now, when I sing to my baby grandson, my daughter loves it. As I love it when she sings to him...because she learned by my doing it for her and her brothers.
My Mom Blamed and accused me of something i didn't even do,and she does this all the time.....?
When I was younger, my Mom never saw any right thing that I did. And yes, she also blamed me for every wrong thing happening in the household. That was years ago, when my brother was very young. We have a 6-year age gap. Now it has stopped since my brother has already grown into a teenager himself. Now what is the direct link? I think your Mom blames you because she expects you to be mature enough to do the right thing (assuming you're old). I mean even though it's your kiddie sister who scattered her toys in the living room (this is a hypothetical scenario, mind you), you should have been responsible enough to clean those toys so that it won't add to her burden. Child rearing is one thankless job so it probably drives her crazy and insane--hence the developing unbearable attitude. You cannot expect her to blame your little sisters for mishaps because they do not know much about life yet. On your older brother, perhaps he is busy running errands or working so your Mom doesn't think that she can count on him. I am not telling you that she should blame you. I believe blaming is a harsh thing to do--whether the person is worthy of the blame or not. I am explaining to you reasons as to why she acts that way. Possible reasons to be exact. About the YM status--if you want to clear things out, apologize to her. Find the right timing! It may even be the springboard for you to be able to have a deep and serious talk about your issues against her. Your Mom will be always your Mom no matter what you do. Until now, I am in a love-hate relationship with my Mom for the simple reason that she has a big mouth that won't stop anytime of the day. Plus, she has suffocating rules at home. Sometimes I yell at her too because I couldn't take it anymore. But I realized years ago that it would be just better to shrug it off and go on with my life. Stop noticing her. Just shrug her off. Stay inside your room and use the Internet. Study well, run errands, obey her so that she won't get pissed off at you. Soon you will realize your Mom's worth in your life. Good luck!
What to do when your mom criticizes you for what you wear?
There is nothing wrong with trying to look good. The fact that you take pride in what you wear is a great thing. Especially if you are only spending such a mere amount on clothing. Some people spend and spend, others dont update their wardrobe enough(some of which just cant afford to). Your mom might have the "save your money" mindset. Some people cant understand spending money on luxuries because they didnt do so, or have the opportunity to do so. Your mom is just trying to make sure you arent carelessly spending your money. Make sure your finances are in order, and dont over spent on your budget. If you are doing this, spending a little here and there is just fine. Your mom may never understand. And you cant stop her from giving you her opinion. She is your mom after all. So the next time she offers her advise or expresses her concern for your fashion budget, let her know that you appreciate her fussing about you, but you have a good handle on things and it just feels good to look nice. Just smile and nod. She's just trying to take care of her little girl, and in a mother's heart, no matter your age, you will always be her little girl. No need to cause a rift. If she's saying things in a really negative manner, let her know the way she's saying things hurts you. But if it's just a case of the worrisome mom, let it slide. At least she's not badgering you about when you are going to find the right guy and give her grand kids... or is she? :P Best of luck to you!
Why does my mom always complain about everything I do even if it's something minor?
This is a classical parenting situation and is more common that one thinks. Primary reason rests highly on the parent, in this case the mum, as parenting is in her hands. She can make or break it. When a mum ‘always complain’, especially ‘about everything minor’, it just signifies that real communication is not there. Both parties are just speaking aloud what they perceive and there is no real connect at the deeper level, ie. the level where there is trust, respect and congruence. This begins way before the above is manifested to be a problem. Many reasons for why the mum fails to garner the deep communication, such as the lack of time and effort in paying attention to it, biasness towards certain siblings, dislike of that child because of certain resemblance or reminder to someone or something the mum dislike, arranged marriage, etc.At another level, one that is more personal to the mum, she may already have her own ‘baggage’ that manifest itself through the constant nagging. She can be constantly in an ‘unresolved’ state of being due to some issues that is not closed. This can constantly tug at her subconsciously causing her to be seeking resolution but finding none. Hence, the nagging is a way of expressing that frustration and seeking out for closure or answers in all the wrong directions. She does not better.The child may misbehave or be rendered ‘bad’ and may truly be so [eg. being wayward, gangsterish, doing crimes etc] but that is not the real cause for her to nag. Many times, the child’s behaviour may even be caused by the mum’s manifestation.Hence, the mum needs to find her own inner peace by resolving her inherent issues and letting go of hindrances. She needs to understand that nagging the child like that is not going change anything. In fact, nagging mums just show that she has ‘lost’ the situation and further nagging is just going to bring the child down. This kind of situation needs time to deal and heal, constant attempts at understanding oneself and seeking to amend the relationship and is crucial for the relationship. It can spiral downhill badly if ignored as the misunderstanding will perpetuate in that unresolved state.
My mom always takes my sisters side even tho she is lieing what should i do?
OMG OMG OMG - I have the same exact problem - I dont do it either till my mom comes home and she yells at you until your brain goes numb - I have an idea. Just do it before she goes out and make sure your sister's stuff is still not clean. Clean your stuff so that your sister doesn't know that you did it or else she will copy you When your mom gets home show her that you did what you were told and that your sister didn't - Trust me, it works!- Good luck gurl