Could I marry my cousin?
I want to answer this anonymously because I’m well aware of the stigma attached to this subject. I have a child by a first cousin. A gorgeous boy who is perfect, in looks and health. Did I mean to fall in love with his father? No. But it happened. When we were very little we like each other a lot but we didn’t grow up together. My dad was in the military so we rarely ever saw each other as we got older. As an adult, we would run into each other but he was like a stranger. I was always attracted to him, I never understood why, and I certainly never told anyone. Fast forward to my 30s. I was having trouble with my daughter’s father and we had separated. A few Facebook messages later and I was hanging out with said cousin. I don’t know why but it didn’t feel like he was family, it wasn’t at all like hanging out with my brother. Over some time, I fell in love with him very deeply. We were trying to figure out how to run away somewhere where no one knew us when suddenly I found out I was pregnant. I completely freaked. This was no longer about what I wanted or how things affected me. There was this person who was going to be born and quite possibly find out that his parents were cousins. I couldn’t do that to him. This may be okay in other countries but here in the US, it is illegal in most states and most people see it as wrong, disgusting and immoral. My son would have lived a life of humiliation and I felt awful that it was my fault. So I did the one thing I knew to do - I ran away from the whole situation. I ran back to my daughters father and told him the truth and he accepted it, if you can believe that. We discussed abortion for about 2 secs but neither of us believes in it so we chose to have him. He’s raising that boy as his own and couldn’t love him more if he were his flesh and blood. I still feel incredibly guilty because I truly loved my cousin and I see his face every time I look at my son. I know he didn’t deserve to have me and the baby drop out of his life but he also knows it was the right thing for our son.I don’t have a point exactly, I just wanted to share my story and offer one piece of advice - if you don’t want to live a life of humiliation or risk putting your children through that, consider a different path but if it’s truly what your heart wants and youre willing to face any and all consequences, don’t let anyone stop you. You only get one life and sometimes you only get one shot at love.
I miss my cousin. How do I stop crying? Help please?
I'm a 13 year old girl and I have a cousin who is 11, but she acts a lot older than she really is. She's mature. She lives in another state but comes to visit every summer. When she comes she usually stays for about three weeks. We're really close, but she can be bratty and annoying at times. Usually when she leaves, I'm not jumping for joy, but I'm not sad either. Three weeks is a long time to be with someone 24/7, so I'm usually just kind of worn out and glad to have a break. When we were little and she left from her visits, we used to cry so much, but then we out grew that...today was her last day of this years 3 week visit and she just left a few minutes ago. I was getting a little tired of her and was ready for her to leave. But all of a sudden when their car pulled out of the driveway I started crying, I couldn't help it. It's just really sad to know that the soonest I can see her again is Christmas, and I might not even get to see her then. She's like one of my closest friends, even though she's my cousin. She's closer to me then some of my best friends. I'm still crying, and I can't stop. I just feel like there's no point in Summer now. When she left it felt like she took part of me with her. It's dramatic, I know...sorry. I'm having a friend over in a minute to help get my mind off of it, but I'm afraid I'm not going to be able to stop crying when she gets here. She's not a close enough friend that I'm comfortable crying in front of. Any suggestions to help me stop crying? Thanks. (:
My cousins just left and I miss them so mutch.?
I just turned 15 and my cousins came to visit in Boston for Christmas. They live in Africa and come to visit every summer and every other Christmas. When they arrive in mid June I feel so alive. During the summer we practically spend every second with each other. One of them is a boy 1 year younger than I am, a girl my age, and a girl a few years older. I am closer to them than any of my other cousins. They are so much fun to spend time with and I can't think of anything greater than them. The big issue is that they need to go back to Africa when summer is over. This has gone on every year since I was a baby but I am never able to get over it. It usually takes over a month for my emotions to fade but I still run into this at random times. I try texting them telling each other about our lives on opposite sides of the world but that usually makes me feel more sad. Does anyone have an idea on how I could miss my cousins less.
Early Christmas?
is anyone else already excited about Christmas? My whole family is already listening to some Christmas music. I guess its because we lost a family member about a year ago. She was my cousin Anna Menkel, 17 years old. She was killed in a car accident. But she was like a sister to me. And this is our second Christmas without her. But yeah, anyone else doing what we are?
What to get my 13 year old boyfriend for christmas?!?!?!?
Ok, Me and my boyfriend have been together for a month. We are both 13. We are like inseperable and are always by eachothers side. We talk on the phone for like 5 hours each night. And everyone says we are soo cute. :) He loves the color blue, Aeropostale, sweet food, movies, videogames, Nickelback, etc. My friend told me he is getting me a necklace from Littman jewlers and his cousin works there so he gets a discount caz she is the manager or something. So the necklace costs like $30 and he is getting me a $40 gift card for Aeropostale. (stupid friend totally told me my whole present and even showed me the necklace http://www.littmanjewelers.com/Products/1364900.aspx?p=2 So i was thinking of getting him a blue Aeropostale sweatshirt, making him chocolate chip cookies maybe in the shape or hearts, and MAYBE a teddy bear. His family is like rich and i feel like i have to meet their standards of buying an expensive gift. I really like this guy. I feel like I love him. I know most of you who will answer this question will make a rude remark, but please try not to. Anyways, does the presents I'm getting him sound ok? If you have any more suggestions, please feel free to list them. Thank you!
Why is my female cousin ignoring me?
If there is nothing you can think of that would cause her to ignore you, then there are two possibilities.1. She has gone off in a different direction in life and doesn't see you as "belonging" in her new social class/circle/clique/stuck up bitch club, or whatever. I know this from experience.2. She may have a little crush on you and feels embarrassed or ashamed because of it. I also know this from experience. Awkward to say the least.There are a few other possibilities as well. Maybe she just feels awkward having not seen you in years. She might feel that maybe she is the one who doesn't live up to your current standards. My advice would be just to find a way to have a conversation with her and let her know that you are still her cousin and that you miss the fun times you had when you were kids.I went through the same thing with a particular uncle's daughters. We were all close as kids, and pretty much grew apart. But, after about twenty years or so, we all reconnected. Despite the fact that they all went in fairly different directions in life, we all still had those same childhood personalities. We all get along now. Well, I get along with all of them. They, on the other hand, don't always get along with each other.
My cousin is being a real.....?
She is 10 I am 13 she lives in FL I live in PA. This is our convosastion...... Saturday, December 6, 2008 MM is Available (7:43 PM) Me : hi 7:43 PM MM hi what are you doing 7:43 PM merry christmas 7:43 PM Me: talking 2 my bffs tori and elissa 7:43 PM and talking 2 u 7:43PM MM on yahoo,phone or at you house 7:44 PM hello are you therte 7:45 PM Me: on yahoo 7:45 PM sry 7:45 PM MM it allrigt 7:45 PM helloare you there listen if you not gonna talk i gonna stay with my friend instead got get good 7:48 PM wat the hey? 7:48 PM Me :i am here 7:48 PM u r the 1 not talking 7:48 PM sry but it is true 7:48 PM MM sure 7:48 PM yeah alright i rather be with my friend then you cause she do not lie to me like you do 7:49 PM Me: when did i lie 2 u? 7:49 PM name a time? 7:49 PM when? ? ? ? 7:49 PM MM go away oh yeah cant soo bye 7:50 PM Me: marissa 7:50 PM when did i lie to you 7:50 PM ? 7:50 PM MM shutup 7:50 PM Me: i don't remember doing so and i would like to know why 7:50 PM but since you are not talking nice, I am going th leave 7:51 PM so I love you and I will talk to you later 7:51 PM Merry early Christmas 7:51 PM I love you! 7:51 PM MM good 4 u bye forever!!!!!!!! 7:51 PM is it snowin? cause it said that um did you get my email 7:54 PM hello 7:55 PM whtev be like that At this point i stopped talking to her and was talking to my other friends. Why did she accuse me of lying and then did not give examples and start to get defensive? Please help!
I am in love with my 2nd cousin once removed...is this okay?
Love is never wrong. :) Incest is having sex with someone who is too closely related for you to be allowed to get married. I am not aware of any jurisdiction in which a person is legally prohibited from marrying their second cousin once removed. Of course, you shouldn't rely on my lack of awareness. You'll have to check your local laws to be sure. But I very much doubt that it would be considered incest, even if you had sex (which you don't even say you are planning to do). The main problem would be how other people will react. If your parents are quite narrow-minded people, as you suggest, they might say nasty things, and try to split you up. Because you are not legally adults yet, they would be legally allowed to prevent the two of you from meeting up again. They could, perhaps, arrange that your family and his meet up with your great-grandparents on separate occasions. Or they might allow you to visit your great-grandparents at the same time, but supervise you to make sure you are never alone together. It could get very awkward. I'm a big fan of honesty. If you try to keep it a secret from your parents, not only would you be embarking on a life which might contain a considerable amount of dishonesty, but you would also be in bigger trouble if - when? - your parents found out. I don't know if it's possible to carry on a secret relationship until you are both legal adults, but I've never tried... I suppose my advice would be to talk to him about it, and come to a mutual decision about the best thing to do, taking into account what the possible repercussions might be, and whether you could both live with them. Whatever you decide to do, I wish you good luck! (Oh, and Merry Christmas!) Edit: Your grandfather's first wife's son's son? That's not a second cousin once removed. Do you just mean that his grandmother and your grandfather married each other? If this boy is only connected to you by marriage, then he is not a blood relation at all.
Have you ever dated your cousin?
Sadly yes. That's what happens when some people, within a family, drift apart so much that they don't see each other or even mention each other to their children. My mom has a cousin. They are first cousins on my grandma's side. My grandma and that woman's mother (I think, unless it was her father )were sisters (or brother and sister, whichever applies). I never even heard of that woman growing up.My mom herself has 2 sisters and 2 brothers. One of her sisters did a better job keeping in touch with that particular cousin so their kids knew each other and knew of the blood relation.I was 20 years old, I just got back from a year abroad and I was starting to study communication in a new school. New school, new classmates. This drop dead gorgeous guy sitting right in front of me kept smiling at me. (Class was disposed in a U shape) I was under his spell. Months went by and we were both shy so nothing had happened yet. September… December… Just smiles and a few words. With December came the time for our traditional Christmas parties which are something very special that you get in Martinique… People sing, dance and what not. A classmate decided to organize one and invite us all. He was there. He invited me to dance. We danced very closely (again see Zouk which is our local music and usually people kind of glue themselves to their dance partner whoever that is, so not necessarily in a sexual way). He talked. He kissed me. I was dazed. I was falling for the guy fast and hard. Christmas came and went. We got back to school with stars in our eyes. Ready to start the year as the newest dating pair around…. Ready to let things move to the next stage. The son of my aunt also was a student in that same school. He crept up behind us during break.He told us :Hey, I'm glad to catch the both of you here.Happy New year.By the way, we are all cousins.That's when we knew that we could not go in seeing each other romantically. The rest of the school year was torture. He was still sitting right across from me. This nearly destroyed me.At the end of the school year I dropped out of my communication class and moved very far away where I started working and then went on to study film production and then languages. I only saw him once after that, at his father's funeral (with my whole family there) 13 or so years later.It still felt like getting stabbed in the chest, after all these years…