When confronting someone about cheating, do you think an angry response shows guilt?
Anger often is the first reaction to being confronted, along with strong denial. Someone who is not cheating might initially be confused, wanting to reassure you compassionately, and disappointed in a sad way. If they really are not a cheater and you continue to accuse them, they could get angry. It sounds like you need more reassurance about that letter. Ask him to explain the circumstances to you again and answer all your questions. Ask him why he's held onto that letter for so many years. Trust your instincts. If things don't add up, then unfortunately he probably is cheating on you. Cheaters can be quite defensive and self-righteous in their efforts not to get caught. I would strongly suggest marriage counseling. I stumbled across emails to and from my husband when he suddenly acted strange. I confronted him without mentioning the emails and he looked me straight in the eye and denied it repeatedly....until I told him I'd found the emails. He then downplayed them, because he didn't know which ones I had or what they said. He finally confessed. I always thought he was a really honest guy with lots of integrity. We had been married for 25 years. We've been in counseling for a couple of years now and I still don't have all my questions answered. All I can say is, trust your instincts.
How do you confront someone about something you're not supposed to know?
You should not butt out. You should butt in and help your sister. How did your other sister know? Take the blame entirely off the person who told you. If she's doing this at parties, then other people besides him know about it. Heck, guys around that age talk about their conquests with girls. A lot. There are a lot of places you could have heard about what your sister does. Tell her you heard it from a number of different sources who have seen her at parties, and you wouldn't have believed it except that so many said the same thing. This will drive home for her the idea that what she's doing will affect her reputation because people know about it, as well as keep your friend off the hook.
How can I confront someone in a mature way without that person becoming defensive?
First of all, confrontation is not the best way, because it invites immediate defensiveness. If you care about the person and like them, you need to keep that in mind when you approach him or her. First, you need to ask the person if it is a good time to talk privately, or ask when a good time would be, or can we go out for coffee, something like that. Then, if they consent to it, talk in 'I' statements. "I feel upset when...because..." "I am scared when...because..." Saying how you feel first works well, because the person will feel less vulnerable, because you are showing that you are vulnerable, too. It is good to explain why you feel upset because that gives the person a chance to see that you care. But, as someone else mentioned, you cannot control his or her reaction. All you can do is say how you feel. If the person cares about you and/or your relationship, he/she will be more likely to be open to you. You will feel better having spoken your mind, whether or not you get the response you want.
Should you confront someone about something they did years ago? Please Read?
I think your instinct is totally on. Let sleeping dogs lie. Now, how do we stop the propaganda that happened years ago? You have to prove to these people and show them the real you. Your peers must be part elephant, for them to remember and hang on to, 2 year old gossip! Are you sure that someone isn't keeping the gossip alive by some chance? That may be your problem. Any how, talk is cheap. Action speak louder than words. When you go to school Monday, you raise your head high, brush your pearly whites and smile. Make eye contact and start saying hi. If the chance presents itself, do favors or small tasks that could help them out. Waiting this long to try to correct a problem has put you in a bad position. But not a permanent position. Following this simple guide line, you will be alright. As far as your friend, the next time something like this happens, talk to her right away. It sounds like to me, she could be jealous of you, and want you to be her friend alone. But you can change that too. Just include her in with the things you and your new friends will be doing. Now its all left up to you, to take charge and end this once and for all. You go Girrrl.........!
Why do I always feel guilty after confronting someone?
I'm not a confrontational person by any means and while I often go out of my way to make sure I do not inconvenience anyone, obviously not everyone takes the same approach. Yesterday a man at the coffee shop was using an employee only exit for his smoke break, and propped the door open so he wouldn't be locked out. He was letting lots of wind and cold air into the building and second hand smoke was so strong I couldn't even smell the coffee. After 15 minutes I worked up the nerve to ask him if I could close the door due to the cold and smoke, and he politely agreed. I felt so guilty for it and I don't know why. I also have a friend who flakes out on everything last minute or is very late to any plans we make. She is very busy so I have tried to cut her some slack, but I have a life too. Today she flaked out of plans and told her that it's frustrating and unfair for her to continually do this. She apologized profusely and promised to work on things. Again I am feeling very guilty for confronting her. Am I just way too sensitive?
How do I confront a Leo about something she did wrong?
I'm a Taurus and once I'm mad, I say some hurtful things, do violent things, and completely just cut you off. But this friend is different. I knew her my first year in college, acquaintances (sp) in high school, and we were friends but we never really argued like that. But I just strongly dislike ppl who betray me and for sure she def lost my trust but I do want to confront her about the situation without going off. I've been very patient with this girl bc she is nice. And when she gets angry, she just tends to be quiet and just ignore ppl. So yeah. And being ignored will make me more angrier and I still want to be cool with her but I just also want to let her know she can't betray me like that again or else she will see a side of me that I wish not to show. So help me out. What should I do?
What do you do when you hear someone talking bad about you behind your back?
“What do you do when you hear someone talking bad about you behind your back?”I have confronted the person directly about it on the few occasions when this has happened to me.The first time, it was with a co-worker who said something about an arrest I made. I told him that if he had anything to say about my work, he should say it to my face instead of whispering it behind my back. He apparently had nothing to say about it.The second time was when a friend-of-a-friend said something to another person about the shirt I was wearing at a party. I had a few beers in me at the time, so I asked that person, point-blank, just what fucking difference it made to him what kind of shirt I wore? He offered some sort of lame “It’s just not my style” response and I pointed out that didn’t really answer the question, since I was asking what fucking difference it made to him what shirt I chose to wear. He didn’t answer, so I turned and left him where he was standing. He left the party shortly after.The other thing you should do when you hear someone talking behind your back is to write that person off. As Elizabeth Vega noted in her answer, you now know what kind of worthless “friend” or person that person actually is. They actually did you a huge favor, as you may not have been aware of their mindset before. If that person is above the age of 15, there’s a fair chance they will continue being that type of person and you’re much better off without them in your life.If the person is a stranger or passerby, don’t even give them a minute of your consideration. Why do you care what some stranger has to say about you? You know who you are and what your life is about.tl;dr: Fuck ‘em.
How to confront a suicidal and noisy roommate?
I only have 8 weeks left before summer break (THANK GOD. PLEASE COME SOONER SUMMER BECAUSE I CANT STAND MY ROOMMATE ANYMORE). The entire year, I have been PATIENT! I am scared I will burst out! My roommate has agreed with a contract that we will be quiet around 9pm to let other people sleep and have quiet time to study, etc. However, recently, she invited her friend over and they had a movie night on a THURSDAY MIDNIGHT. I could not sleep at all because walls are thin and the TV was right next to my bed from the other room. I literally stayed up and hoped they would stop. But no, the movie ended and her friend slept in the living room, blasting videos on her phone. I literally told her to keep it down because I am trying to sleep. She did. Now, its around 9 am and they both are being noisy and loud. I did not get any sleep and am very angry, frustrated and cranky. My roommate is suicidal, is bipolar, manipulative and has depression. I dont know how to confront someone who has that because I am afraid she might kill herself over me confronting her. I emailed my RA and she has been ignoring my emails all year about roommate problems so I am stressed out to the max and dont know what to do. Oh yea. My roommate also doesnt clean her period blood stains in the bathroom floor. Our other roommate had to do it for her. She never cleans **** around the dorm.