What Does It Mean If A Male Therapist Compliments Me

What does it mean when you see your therapist constantly shifting positions in her chair? Am I making her uncomfortable by what I'm saying?

What does it mean?It’s impossible to say, from your limited description.It may mean that her bum has a rash, or that she has a genital infection, or that her sanitary pad was wet, or her tampon was irritating her, or that her panties are creeping uncomfortably, or that her pants are too tight, or that she has bruises from horse-riding, or that she was impatient to do something as soon as you left.You don’t need to ask her - because … look at the majority of reasons!Whatever the meaning of her restless movement (the word “cause” or “reason” would probably be a better term to use in this context) , it most likely had nothing to do with you. Unless you are the most unique patient in the world, she has had to study far more uncomfortable cases than yours, to get her qualifications.

Will it make my male therapist uncomfortable if I mention PMS?

I have no idea if it makes your male therapist uncomfortable but it shouldn’t. I understand shame and the desire to protect your therapist, we’ve all been there. However, this is one thing that you should not care about. If it does make him uncomfortable, this is really something he needs to deal with in his own supervision sessions.If it makes you uncomfortable, then you need to talk to him about this and explore how you relate to your own body and its absolutely normal functions and processes. You might simply project your own discomfort on him.Billions of women menstruate every month all over the globe and many of them experience PMS at various intensities and in various forms. Sometimes, their mental and emotional state is fundamentally affected by their PMS, so how on Earth would you not talk to him about it?Sometimes, when my mood gets uncharacteristically low and I am tearful and bleak, my therapist even calculates in his head if I’m facing “those days of the month”, and asks me directly if my depressive slide is magnified by my PMS at that point. It helps us put things in perspective and realize that in a few days, things will see a bit easier to bear simply because my hormonal balance will change. It also helps because of the meta-communication involved. Him noticing these things reads like: “I see you”, “I follow your story”, “I see what affects you”, “We’ve had a history behind”, “I start to know you”, “We can talk about anything”. Give your own therapist a chance to do the same for you.

Why did my therapist’s compliment about how strong and resilient I am make me uncomfortable?

Maybe it isn’t true? Or, maybe the comment was insincere? Maybe, at this time you need a therapist to accept you and give you permission to fall apart. Perhaps a comment on how strong and resilient you are is the therapist defending themselves against their own fears. (Fears that you may fall apart or even that THEY may fall apart.) Maybe the therapist needs you to be strong and resilient—. Maybe being told you are “strong and resilient” sounds like coaching—and coaching can be a demand that you pick up the pieces and soldier on. A therapist who can agree that in many, many ways you are screwed up is healthier than a therapist who wants you to “be good”. And by “being good” I mean — slapping a smile on that face and making the best of it. And that kind of Polly Anna positive approach isn’t therapy at all.That’s just a guess. I think sometimes there can be a minimizing of the depth of the suffering of the patient when the therapist gets going on a “complimentary” loop.I once had a client who had a health scare and I found myself doing a lot of reassuring. This shut the client down. It minimized the concerns he had and it was clearly a device that was protective of ME. Fortunately, I realized it between sessions and brought it up. I told the client that I had been so worried that they were worried that I had failed to hear their concerns, where they were at. The client was surprised at my confession and gratified and we went on to discuss all the horrors that the diagnosis could, possibly, in truth, bring.So, perhaps the compliment was really a sort of glossing over the truth and that’s why it wasn’t therapeutic for you. If your therapist is reflective —the fact that what was likely a therapeutic error did not land as intended with you, can be brought up and explored together to bring the therapy to a more deeply truthful level. I hope so.

Why do I feel uncomfortable with a male therapist?

You may feel uncomfortable talking about topics to certain sexes because you believe that they will not understand the reason that you're seeking help. Possibly it's also because you think you're offending your therapist when talking about a male who has affected your mental health in some way.There's a lot of reasons why one could feel uncomfortable with a therapist of a particular sex, and it's mostly just the subconscious making you feel this way. The best thing to do in this situation is simply discuss with him about changing therapists, as the last thing they want you to feel is uncomfortable as it'd mean you'd be willing to open up less. Do not worry about offending him, as he simply wants you to feel as comfortable as possible and he'd completely understand.