Why do I think about death 24/7?
The next time you have these thoughts, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline (In the U.S.), call 1-800-273-8255 This website lists 24hr hotlines by state: http://www.suicidehotlines.com/ It sounds to me you need treatment for clinical depression, ASAP! You do need to be evaluated by a psychologist, first thing, to see if you really do have depression, or if it may be another disorder requiring a different treatment. Don't wait! Make the appointment today! Good luck
Is apathy worse than depression?
I think Apathy is depression. Life is valuable because you make it valuable. You can make it not valuable and thats your choice. If you were Bill gates, I'm sure life would be pretty valuable.
Why am I always thinking about death?
Ok, you are depressed because there is an imbalance of seratonin in your brain. It is something medically going on in there that is causing your depression. Your medication is correcting the problem. The death thoughts sounds like you have a little obsessive thinking going on there. You definitely should tell your doctor because there are different antidepressants that also address that problem. How do I know? Because I also suffer from depression and obsessive thinking and obsessive behavior (nail biting, lip biting) I am currently on Paxil and not only has it relieved my depression, it has also stopped by obsessive behaviors. BTW, my obsessive thinking was that I always drove well in the snow...nice and easy and never had a problem. Then I had one little fender bender on an icy morning going to work and after that became obsessive about driving in bad weather. I had to drive 40 miles to work and I would white knuckle it all the way. Never had another accident, thank God. Now with the Paxil, I barely give either problem a thought. Good luck and get the right meds.
How do I stop thinking about death? I am only 25 years old.
Intrusive thoughts can be difficult, and you are finding that Death thoughts are emotionally charged making them even more difficult. Therapy with the right therapist would do wonders, for much of therapy deals with changing thought patterns. For yourself, you have already discovered that it is impossible not to think of something, so this is something you can’t willpower or logic away. If you want to deal with this on your own, here is my advice: First you need to recognize that thoughts are just that - thoughts created in your brain. They are not facts, omens, or commands, just thoughts. So first, when a “death thought” enters you need to tell yourself that it is just a thought. Do this every time, along with a deep breath and relaxation. Now, on to changing the thoughts. Thoughts of death are among the most powerful emotional thoughts we can have, and therefore can be overwhelming. You need to change the pattern. If the thoughts come with a picture in your head, change the picture to black and white and/or make it like watching a movie screen instead of living inside them. If you hear the thoughts, make the voice or sound different - squeaky, baby talk, or some silly cartoon voice. These will help take the emotional charge down a level. Next, come up with a silly persona form that you can assign to these thoughts - the sillier the better - have a “death mouse, a “death monkey” or any other silly and non frightening image. Now, when you have a death thought, instead of reacting with fear and frustration, put the silly voice, the silly persona, the black and white pictures together - hopefully you will laugh a bit in relief - tell yourself it’s just the “death flea” or whatever pestering you. Don’t try force it away, make it silly. Then take a breath and gently substitute a pre-selected positive thought - make it involve all of the senses - a walk on the beach with wind, birds, sun, feel the sand etc - or whatever works for you. Gradually you will take away the power of your death thought and automatically go to a more serene place. Remember, when your willpower and imagination are in conflict, imagination always wins. This process may need tweaking and guidance from a professional would be helpful. You are not trapped.