My friend is getting verbally & physically abused?
She won't go to anyone but me about it, and she's depressed ALL the time. I don't know if i should help her or what or HOW to help her. Over Christmas break, she called me crying and told me she started cutting herself. I got her to stop. but She started again this week (spring break), and i don't know what to do!!! HELP!!!! (PS i think her older brother is sexually abusing her, but i'm not sure. HElp!)
Which is supposedly worse: mental abuse or physical abuse?
physical is also the worst too and soo is mental and emotional abuse their all pretty much the same but phyiscal is physical like hitting people and makin them feel physically threatend and in danger but with mental and emotional your abusing them with words like i hate you and you are goin too burn in hell or you will never fight me or i will beat the demons out of you i also fear physical i wouldnt wanna be around my father becausause he physicaly beat me which put me in breakdown and after i got tookin away from him i hit myself oo hard that i had to go too counceling because i thought everything was my fault soo i would physically do the same thing he did and i also get confused when people tell me what too believe because i do change me minds soo offten i feared my dad because he layed strikes on me black and blue and he also beat me after i threw up as a child and it got worse and then i started bleeding which i will never forget that day all of it has affected me and is still affecting me because its all a tape recorder that plays in your head all thedays you live you suffer from trauma and its spreads when you get older because you abuse people like you were abused or somethines it is worse then what you were abused like
I am a 19-year-old student. My parents physically abuse me. What can I do?
I'm sorry about what you are going through. I'm 21 years old. I was in a similar situation before. When I was 18 I packed my stuff and ran away. But I left to get away from the abuse and I did it all the wrong ways and 6 months later I came home. I left again and it didnt work out. I came back. The third time, I left and I'm doing great. It's understandable you want to be free. But the set back is what are you going to do when you have that freedom. Where are you gonna do? In my case, I went out of the state. The first step you can do is, call someone you can trust and ask if u can stay with them until you get back on your feet. If not, save. If you are working save. Go through your stuff, sell what ever you don't need and give away what ever you dont want. Goodwill is a good place to go. If you are enrolled in college, then you will need to request your transcript. If you have a car then great but you will then need to have a job to pay the insurance. With Geico I pay 340. A month because I am underage. But that depends on the state you living in. If you don't have a car and you live in a state where you need a car. I suggest save up for that. It does not have to be a fancy car. They are cars that are sold in good condition for 2000 and 1500 sometimes. Just make sure everything works. If you live in a state like N.Y where they are trains and buses and walking distance then you don't need a car. Once you have a place to go, you can get up and leave. I would suggest trying to contact a motel but most motel take 21 years old but u can call and ask them. They are some that takes 18 years old to rent a motel for a month. Average price a month is 295-495. Depending where u go. You do need to consider you are going on your own. You will need to budget everything and you'll be set. Just consider and prepare for your freedom so you wont have to go back to the same abuse. When your ready let them know you are leaving. If they are really that bad where there is no hope in telling them you are leaving, but u know u have to go. Leave a note.But remember you are going into the real world, and it is not as easy as most adults make it look. It's not as easy as it sounds. You are going to struggle. You are going to wish you didnt have to grow up. You are going to be broke once in a while. But these are just phases of life, I know you can overcome. So good luck. Let me know if you have questions or concern.
How might someone get over being abused as a child?
I certainly wouldn't want to contradict any one who has been abused as a child and so i think it is safe to say no one 'gets over' being abused as a child in the sense that it no longer has relevance for them or no longer impacts on them.However, from my experience as a social worker and from reading lots of research, it is the case that some people who were abused as children do cope differently in later life than some other people who have experienced very similar abuse. Why this is the case is a crucial question for social workers in child protection (and others, of course).Essentially, as I understand it, trauma has myriad affects on a person. Most people experience some trauma in their life, defined simply as something 'really bad', whether that be a car crash, a relative dying, a serious injury and so on. However, child abuse by a parent is especially traumatic because as well as the physical or emotional pain of the abusive acts, the child experiences a severe breach of trust and is left to experience 'fear without solution' - normally, children turn to their parents for comfort when they are afraid but when the parent him or herself is the source of fear, the child (usually) has no-where to turn. The child still (usually) needs the parent as they are the person who provides care but they also need to be wary of the parent as they are harming them. Often, children cope not by believing the parent is bad and does not really love them (a somewhat logical response) but by believing they themselves are unloveable, or to blame in someway for the abuse (a psychological response). Much research shows that to resolve feelings toward trauma, we need to be able to make sense of what happened. This can be done by 'putting words' round the trauma or via a different and genuinely 'loving' or caring relationship (with another parent figure, with a partner, with a therapist etc). Either way, the resolution (not necessarily complete resolution) is to understand that the abused child / person was not to blame and that the abused child / person is not unloveable but they were unloved in that specific relationship. This can take a long time but can help ameliorate the affects of the abuse and help with future mental health and well-being.
How can you stop caring about someone who emotionally and physically abused you?
It is possible to stop loving someone, but just remember that it won’t happen overnight. It takes quite a bit of time, depending on how long you loved that person. You can’t just switch your feelings off, because you’re only human with real emotions.Talk about your pain with people who care about you. That’s what your friends are there for. They care about you and they’ll give you the support that you need.Reflect on your needs. If you need to grieve, do it. It’s part of the healing process. Take care of yourself. Don’t neglect what you need the most. Nourish yourself regularly and bathe and wash your clothes regularly. Those things are part of your needs.You are the most important person in your life, so love yourself. I’m sure there are some good qualities that you have. Find out what they are, and learn to love them. One of my best qualities is that I’m a nurturer. I love taking care of people. You have qualities as well. Figure out what the good ones are, and love yourself for them.Be strong. When you feel that intense pain and think there's nothing worse that could ever happen to you, be strong. Face life, challenge everything and let the world know you can overcome anything.Strengthen your beauty and inner peace. You can rebuild, get over your fears, try new things and live your life as as an adventure. Find peace where you can and focus on the future, not the past.Remember that no one has power over you except yourself. No one can control you. You’re most certainly better off without a person who doesn’t value you. You deserve better than getting abused.Some people have anger issues and problems with abuse. That’s their problem that they need to see in themselves and take care of. It’s sad that things are like that with some people, but if they don’t get help for it, that’s not your problem. Teach yourself that you don’t need that kind of person in your life so that if another abuser comes into your life, you’ll be able to walk away.
What does it mean to abuse somebody?
I’m big on definitions when trying to explain a concept or idea. So, I’m going to include the definition of “abuse” from the Merriam-Webster online dictionary to get started.Definition of abuse1: a corrupt practice or custom - the buying of votes and other election abuses2: improper or excessive use or treatment : misuse - drug abuse3: language that condemns or vilifies usually unjustly, intemperately, and angrily - verbal abuse a term of abuse4: physical maltreatment - child abuse sexual abuse5obsolete : a deceitful act : deceptionSo, looking at the definition of “abuse” listed above, we can begin to understand that any form of mistreatment, any form of manipulation, deception, anything that does not respect the boundaries and autonomy of another person is considered abuse.This can often include physical (pinching, hitting, shoving, slapping, etc.), psyhological/emotional (gas lighting, verbal, dismissing your opinions or thoughts, ignoring, etc.), sexual (rape, incest, sexualizing a child, inappropriate touch, porn, inappropriate sexual comments, etc), neglect (not providing essential needs - emotional, physical, etc.).Abuse can present itself in many forms. Many people who inflict abusive behavior on others have also been abused themselves. It’s a vicious, horrible cycle that tends to keep repeating within families and cultures who have had an extended history of abuse.The cycle can be broken. It takes someone with some insight and revelation to see that they can change and to really have the desire to change. Where there is a will, there is a way.Thanks for the A2A.
My boyfriend has a drinking problem & is verbally and physically abusive, I know I will stay w/ him, suggeston
As a child my boyfriend was mentally abused as well as physically. He has an extremely bad temper. I dont know if it is from the army or the way he was treated by his father as a child. When we drink socially on the weekends, he gets verbally abusive as well as physically, sometimes. Other than that he is the nicest guy in the world. I love to drink, but he cannot handle his alcohol. What should we do?